Oh perfect, Google News has announced a revolutionary new product: badges for your Google News Reading Activity. See now when you prove you are Good At Reading, your Google Teacher gives you a gold star for the day.
Actually, no gold stars: the badges range “from Bronze to Ultimate,” which… that’s not really a coherent scale? I think folks just think no one knows what “platinum” is anymore and why it’s “better” than gold. But come on. It’s not like I’m suggesting maybe rhodium should start showing up in the metal-based scale of BADGIFICATION.
Anyway, R U going to READ MOAR now that Google gives you REWARDSES??? LOL, GOOD LUCK, READY, SET, READ!11!!!1!