“It’s really an unfortunate incident that probably could have been avoided if he had just chosen a bush,” says Portland, OR, police spokeman Pete Simpson. He is referring to 21-year-old Joshua Seater’s decision to urinate into a local reservoir. “By daylight, the Water Bureau decided to drain eight-million gallons of water to the tune of $32,700 tax payer dollars.” (The reservoir supplies residents with drinking water.) It is unclear what punishment, if any, Seater will face, but I’m pretty sure no one will ever pee in this reservoir again. No way. People are gonna do things that are MUCH WORSE.