Tuesday, June 7th, 2011
18

It's The Last Day Of The Internet

Wait, what?

Watch carefully when you turn on your computer tomorrow. If everything goes according to plan, you won’t notice a thing, even though large parts of the Internet will be going through a test run for its next stage: Internet Protocol version 6 (IPv6), a new system to ensure that the Web doesn’t run out of addresses.

On June 8, search and content giants including Google, Facebook, and Yahoo! will make their websites available over the new system — while your hardware and browser need to be able to set up to view them as well, it’s effectively the largest test yet of the new set of standards.

Scientific American puts it a bit differently, asking, "Will the Internet Stop on June 8?"

The answer is a tad more reassuring than the headline.

Most likely the transition will go smoothly. All but the oldest computers and phones can handle both schemes, although the IPv6 option may not be turned on. Old DSL modems or cable modems may not be compatible, says Geoff Huston, chief scientist for the Asia Pacific Network Information Center. In these cases, if you try to access an IPv6 address, you will either experience a delay or never connect.

I still have no idea what the hell any of this means, so I say PANIC! This is it, people. Start hoarding your kitty videos and whatever particular kind of porn does it for you. Print out your Twitter witticisms and Tumblr confessions, because starting tomorrow THE INTERNET IS OVER. Some day you will tell the generations yet unborn about this magical place where we all came together to share our bad puns about Anthony Weiner's junk. We passed along clips of finger-biting babies. We Google bombed. (God, remember Google bombing?) And then, just like that, it all ended. We went back to reading newspapers and having actual physical interactions. We went to restaurants to actually eat a meal, not because we wanted a "badge." Whatever coupons we tendered required the use of scissors to retrieve. We talked on the phone. And even though we occasionally looked back fondly, we mostly went on with our lives, happier and more rested than we were before. Okay, probably not. But isn't it pretty to think so?

18 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)

NO DO NOT MAKE ME TALK ON THE PHONE AGAIN

roboloki (#1,724)

*text me

@jolie *fax me

Aloysius (#1,808)

@jolie *pigeon me

Oooh! Nice use of Poussin there!

@Butterscotch Stalin Not Poussin! That's Alex on his StarTAC.

stevek (#13,633)

"All but the oldest computers and phones can handle both schemes"

So you're saying today is the last day my parents will ever be able to access the internet? Great, no more facebook comments from my mom.

SeanP (#4,058)

@stevek and just when I finally conditioned dad to stop forwarding me all the "Obama is socialist atheist sharia-loving Kenyan" e-mails he gets, and mom to stop forwarding me all the ludicrous "omfg if you freeze bottled water you'll DIE" type hoaxes she gets.

zoom (#10,138)

I am pretty concerned about my DSL modem. How will my daughters watch youtube videos of Justin Bieber?

roboloki (#1,724)

my modem seems so smart but sometimes i worry about my modem.

KarenUhOh (#19)

This is not a problem at my house. We pee V8.

So you'll be sending us the newsletters via post starting tomorrow?

MParcells (#375)

I will celebrate by opening a good book. At a porno theater.

dado (#102)

One less peg for Al Gore to hang his hat on.

Eric Spiegelman (#3,968)

DRUDGE REPORT IS DOWN

hockeymom (#143)

I pass along clips of finger-biting hockey players, but that's probably just me.

Van Buren Boy (#1,233)

With all the continuted talk about a congressman's twitter dick shots should we really lament the last days of the internet? I say we go back to the days of homing pigeons for all future penis correspndence.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

First, they take away our rabbit ears television. Now they are trying to shut down the tubes that deliver the internet? Unconscionable!

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