Duane Reade's Progressively More Scary Obama Birthday Cards

Duane Reade—a subsidiary of Walgreens!—carries fine American mass-market cards for every occasion, from “I’m sorry I don’t love you enough” to “You should probably get checked out at the clinic” to “happy graduation, foster son of my lesbian partner.”

They also carry a diverse line of Barack Obama birthday cards, which range from adulatory to scare-mongering. Here’s pics of the front of the card and their inside panel.

We did not nab the name of the manufacturer but it’s nice to see that American enterprise isn’t taking sides on the “Obama is awesome”/”Obama is the devil” debate.