Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
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British Birds Think They're British People

Utter avian craziness is happening in Britain's southeastern county of Kent. Not only is a "cheeky seagull" continually robbing a newsstand of the delicious potato chips within, but a parrot in a local pub is being verbally abusive to the customers: "People come in here and he will just blurt out **** off, ****** or *****! I considered covering the cage but that doesn't stop him. He doesn't like going upstairs he likes living in the bar. The more people in the pub the louder he gets…. If a punter tells Derby to shut up he just tells them to **** off." There are no reports of birds glassing anyone yet, but it is probably inevitable.

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The River Ivel (#14,407)

It's perhaps worth pointing out that Kent is one of the richest, and most right-wing areas of the UK. These birds are probably just fed up of waiting for full-on class warfare to erupt and hastening their mammalian brothers into the struggle.

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