Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

This Is Why We Can't Have Funny Headlines (A Poem)

Google doesn't laugh
It doesn't even titter
It can't guffaw like Facebook
It won't split its sides like Twitter

Google doesn't crack a smile
It won't respond to mirth
There's not a single laughing part
Not even Google Earth

Your title might be funny
Forcing chuckles from the chest
But Google sits there stone-faced
Resolutely unimpressed

Don't try to brighten someone's day
Don't aim for "smart and winning"
Your goal is catching Google's eye
And Google isn't grinning

Best to stick to SEO
And trade your wheat for chaff
Forget the humor, blogger boy
'Cause Google doesn't laugh


14 Comments / Post A Comment

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)


GailPink (#9,712)


KenWheaton (#401)


Isn't this something the Sorting Hat sang to 'Arry Potter?

jolie (#16)

I read that as "booger boy" and laughed.

Related: I'm calling this day and going home to drink. Heavily.

In thirty years, everyone's going to look back on the SEO field as a moron's buffet.

Br. Seamus (#217)

@Sam Alcoff@facebook Why can't we just look at it right now?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

@Br. Seamus Affirmative.

Hey, I just got the picture … the Google logo is frowning!

What do I win?

deepomega (#1,720)

@MisterHippity: Thank you VERY MUCH for this explanation! A veil is drawn back from my eyes!

laurel (#4,035)

I think he C/P'd the top left arc of the big G.

What do I win?

hockeymom (#143)

Needs more Star Bellied Sneetches.

Hamilton (#122)

The Way We __ Now look like u left out a word lol

gay poem.


Ian Lurie@twitter (#12,315)

Great poem!

Unfortunately, you're drawing the wrong conclusion.

You can still write funny headlines. You can still write clever headlines. The horrible burden that the internet (not Google) places on you is that your headlines also have to somehow relate to the story.

My god.

Who knew?

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