From Local Crime Report, "A Portrait Emerges"¹

Do you know what the McKenzie River Reflections weekly paper has, besides the delight of being located in McKenzie Bridge, some ways inland from Eugene, OR, right in the middle of the Willamette National Forest? Yup, a really awesome crime blotter.

April 7: 9:27 AM: Suspicious Conditions ­ 55000 block, McK. Hwy. Complainant is upset because a female put a flyer in his mailbox. Caller is unsure if she tampered with his mail but is worried because he is expecting a tax refund. Citizen self report.

Heh. Also really good: “Caller reports hearing someone shooting guns in the air. The noise is upsetting caller’s dogs.” We all make so many assumptions.

¹ Yes.