Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011
15

Edgewood, New Mexico Joins in America's Fight Against Skittling

Edgewood, New Mexico—30 miles east of Albuquerque—has a skittling problem. Yes. So to combat this epidemic of pill-popping, they participated in the national drug take-back program, according to their weekly paper, The Independent. You can just go down to the pharmacy and give them your pills! I have no idea why someone would do this. At least gun amnesty programs get scary illegal things out of your house. But pill amnesty programs just take away your fun pills! I don't really get it?

Elsewhere in the Independent, there are jobs available for sheep herders. You live in "an isolated camp/bunkhouse," are on-call 24-hours a day, and you get paid $750 a month. Just three months experience required!

15 Comments / Post A Comment

mpappas (#8,511)

I think the job posting explains (or justifies) the skittling problem.

keisertroll (#1,117)

We just had a prescription drug takeback day the next town over. Too bad most of my neighbors were too strung out on heroin to take advantage.

brianvan (#149)

Better idea: why doesn't the state government of New Mexico just build a couple of extra-large resorts in remote areas where you can take any drugs you want as long as you stay within its property? Charge a lot of money for lodging, let resort crime sort itself out organically, and use the proceeds to strengthen addiction treatment facilities and law enforcement across the rest of the state.

@brianvan : Dibs on running Bartertown.

deepomega (#1,720)

@brianvan: Escape From Albuquerque.

Nick Douglas (#7,095)

@brianvan Why don't we just round up all the rich people, put 'em in a city, charge 'em to stay, use the money to build a big-ass wall around them, and leave the Poors to die in the desert?

migraineheadache (#1,866)

@brianvan this is kind of how I've always imagined Ibiza.

sox (#652)

@migraineheadache
Indeed. This is how I've always imagined Burning Man…think global, act local: start a Burning Man(TM) Branch in your state!

Man. In my day, "skittling" was covering your cranky old neighbor's lawn with Skittles right before it rained, which would then dye his grass. This sounds much scarier.

deepomega (#1,720)

I cannot for the life of me figure out what sex act skittling would refer to. STC?

SeanP (#4,058)

@deepomega I don't know, you naughty boy, I've never skittled.

synchronia (#3,755)

@deepomega Going down on a dude with your mouth full of skittles? Too literal?

sox (#652)

Well, and just last night I was cleaning out the medicine chest and found some out of date magnesium capsules that I was wondering how to properly dispose of. Sigh, if I only I were kidding…this actually happened.

But Rx pills always make me throw up and at least 10 people I have known have died while skittling, so I stick with the non-Rx stuff. Molly, for instance, helps you dance your ass off.

jfruh (#713)

$750 a month plus all the pork and beans you can eat, I'll bet, right?

laurel (#4,035)

Yeah, but the mountain in question is more humped than brokebacked.

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