Friday, March 18th, 2011

God's Wife Almost Got Screwed Out Of The Bible

Did you know that God had a wife? You probably did not! Why would you have, when men have tried to keep the truth from you for so long? Mrs. God, also known as Asherah, was worshiped alongside her husband as a symbol of fertility, until a bunch of guys who wanted a single-serving dude-focused deity attempted to write her character out of the Bible. And if it weren't for a bunch of researchers and theologians, they would have gotten away with it.

J. Edward Wright, president of both The Arizona Center for Judaic Studies and The Albright Institute for Archaeological Research, told Discovery News that he agrees several Hebrew inscriptions mention "Yahweh and his Asherah."

"Asherah was not entirely edited out of the Bible by its male editors," he added. "Traces of her remain, and based on those traces, archaeological evidence and references to her in texts from nations bordering Israel and Judah, we can reconstruct her role in the religions of the Southern Levant."

Scholars have found mentions of Asherah in ancient scrolls, on pottery, and even the Book of Kings, which refers to a popular entertainment of the era called "The Real Housewife of Heaven."


17 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

Book of Kings and Their Shorties.

Mr. B (#10,093)

So, God does have a penis?

roboloki (#1,724)

god's wife has a big pussy. just sayin

gumplr (#66)

…if it weren't for you meddling apostles!

Dieter Bohn (#10,547)

Actually, can't recommend The Evolution of God by Robert Wright (no relation?) enough. It goes into great detail about how Judaic monotheism actually arose from polytheism – including a bit about Asherah.

soco (#8,225)

Interesting, but not all that relevant anymore. Old religion changes over time, nothing shocking there.

Ken Layne (#262)

Not that relevant anymore? Today in Washington, people claiming divine inspiration from the male half of this bisected god are deciding whether American women will have babies or not, and literally calling for IRS audits for those who have abortions after being raped.

soco (#8,225)

I really doubt an academic curiosity will have much sway with those particular types of crazies.

jfruh (#713)

Asherah wasn't "edited out of the Bible by its male editors"; rather, the bible was written by the people who oppose Asherah-worship. Asherah-worship pops up in the Old Testament all the time — it's not like they're hiding it or anything — but it's always being perpetrated by people portrayed in the bible as villains.

The Old Testament is basically the story of how Jews became monothesists, written by the monotheistic winners.

Ken Layne (#262)

I will discuss this with you in private, sir.

Annie K. (#3,563)

Ha! Link says she was Ishtar and Astarte, whom I personally know to be the old Sumerian Inanna. She preceded God, was there before those monotheists, as jfruh so wisely points out, won.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Asherah was the first victim of PMS: Pre Monotheistic Syndrome.

TheRtHonPM (#10,481)

And the immaculate conception is the story God told Asherah when Mary filed her paternity suit.

mathesond (#10,549)

Weird…I just finished reading Snow Crash this past weekend, which was the first I'd heard of Asherah

I thought we were DONE with Dan Brown, already.

BadUncle (#153)

So, Yaweh was like the cosmic Ike Turner?

I worship Proverbs 8 Wisdom as a Goddess (Sophia) A.K.A. Alchemy. Her Consort is Jehovah the Lord Hunter God. Their Son is Yeshua Christ. The Goddess Sophia was, "Brought up as a Master Craftsman At Jehovah's Side." Proverbs 8

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