Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
42

Enjoy Our Safe Space Today: We Remain a Sheen-Free Zone

Just a little programming note: a certain very ill and somewhat frightening monster has captivated the television stations and radios and many of the papers. If you're feeling a bit too heartily pursued by this particular monster, feeling a bit too caught in the crossfires of the media streams, we have a solution for you! Join us in turning your very important gaze elsewhere. It's your mind, after all—literally your only resource. Free it and your ass will follow, and there'll be no monsters on your tail.

42 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

The more TV you watch, the less intelligent you are.

hockeymom (#143)

*unless of course you are watching shows produced by regular readers of @awl and their loved ones that happened to be scheduled against a Charlie Sheen interview, causing the ratings of said TV shows to tank. You SHOULD watch those shows. Because unlike Mr. Sheen, the people working on those shows don't make a lot of money and can't afford to throw it all away on hookers and blow.
So yes, fuck that guy.
*thank you!

Now THAT is a brilliant tie-in, Karen.

freetzy (#7,018)

Karen, I could really go for a plate of shrimp right now

Tulletilsynet (#333)

Sounds like a case for Diuretix.

Smitros (#5,315)

Intense.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

We've got to get our manic-depressive rants somewhere. I guess if we can't watch it on the tee vee we'll have to spend more time with our families.

saythatscool (#101)

I love spending time with your sister, scrolly. She always bring her own lube.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

And she always loves starting a search party to locate your member!

brent_cox (#40)

Today might be an only-one-tab-open day.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

The Awl, brightly sheening, wiped clean of Sheen.

laurel (#4,035)

I <3 Lard Lad.

garge (#736)

Thank you; pay me no mind, I'll just be the little lord jesus asleep on the hay over there in the corner.

roboloki (#1,724)

why do you hate the tiger's blood?

jolie (#16)

I'm a lil' obsessed with Charlie Sheen, Major Disaster. Have been for a goodly long time. He's hanging out in the corner where I keep Lohan and good jiffy gumdrops, you two, I'll be over with the drinks in just a second. Sheesh.

hman (#53)

The Awl should have its own jingle.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

"Yes, it's the Awl. That's its name. That name again? Why, it's the Awl."

scroll_lock (#4,122)

"Oh, it's Awl, it's Awl, it's Awl for you and me. If you want your stories with lots of balls and and an extra side of comment gall, its AWL!"

jolie (#16)

"On The Awl you will find
A story written by a man named Choire
(That's pronounced 'Claire')
And if that doesn't interest your mind
We also have a man with many hairs writing about bears!
(Balk is shy, please don't stare)
On The Awl, The Awl there's something for every kind!"

jolie (#16)

(My meter is TERRIBLE but I managed to get a "Balk is hairy" joke in there and therefore expect you all to forgive me.)

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Very elaborate rhyme scheme for a jingle. Brava, jolie!

jolie (#16)

@boy: I should just start telling people I invented my own meter. Boobambic Jolameter or some such.

They never capitalized on that DRA theme song, did they?! Sounds like a job for a managing editor.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

10/10 best post I've read since the beginning of the week.

GOD BLESS YOU AWL – My dayjob has me knee-deep in Sheen. I think it's rude to laugh at the sick.

iwantyrskull (#1,706)

all of my clicks are belong to you

Tulletilsynet (#333)

I have sheen the best minds of my generation destroyed by … tweeting about this all weekend.

Bettytron (#575)

Can we make this bubble encompass the clients in my office? They cannot stop talking about it, and, even worse, they're all shameless apologists and aaaggh I don't want to think about it anymore!

caw_caw (#5,641)

Thank goodness someone has some sense. I did a rough calculation yesterday and it turns out the only creature we didn't hear from regarding this matter was the Taco Bell chihuahua.

Yo quiero hookers and blow.

kneetoe (#1,881)

But . . . but . . . Isn't this post about him?

Smitros (#5,315)

You might want to get a logo like those safe place for kids logos on police and fire stations.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

I love them (and never more than on posts like this one) but our intrepid editors are probably not the people to talk to about adding logos to things.

GiovanniGF (#224)

I think I found something that may change your mind: http://mediumlarge.wordpress.com/2011/02/24/cats-quote-charlie-sheen/

IBentMyWookie (#133)

So if we want to follow the saga of a wealthy egotist's drug-fueled, debauched affairs with hookers we'll have to stick with Balk's Berlusconi posts.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Berlusconi is in charge of an entire country and most of its media apparatus, and has been for most of my lifetime. This other guy is going to dominate US airwaves for like four days, tops. See the difference?

Good, because everyone is just ignoring all the bear news everywhere else! Fools and trolls!

Jeff Barea (#4,298)

It's not like any of you haven't gotten bored and been poor and made up your own game.

What was I supposed to do? Play Bocci Ball?

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