Thursday, March 24th, 2011

Bigfoot (Or Some Really Hairy Guy) Roams North Carolina

What with the constant clamor to deny the existence of the chupacabra, it's nice to know that at least people still believe in the sasquatch, and are making every effort to capture the creature's peregrinations on film.

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BadUncle (#153)

Alternate zoological provenance: drunken Forest Ranger celebrates St. Patty's day in a Smoky Bear costume.

Screen Name (#2,416)

Can't really say how it started. Just know my daddy always did it and he got it from his daddy. I reckon I was just born into it. Important thing is you gotta be close enough to people so they can see you, but far enough away they can't see the zippers and seams. I remember back in '92, '93, when that one video got on the CBS station? Daddy took off before I got his zipper all the way fixed. The video wasn't no good back then, not like today with all the iPhones and HD, so you couldn't see nothin', but he was madder'n hell. Mostly at himself. That was around the time he told me I was ready. First time's scary. You're runnin' fast as you can and the headpiece is so heavy you're just tryin' to not fall down. I tell you what, I was more nervous that first time than I was for my kids being born. Swear to God. This one fella up at the campsite had one of them big VHS video things? They showed that one on WBTV down in Charlotte. First time and I was on TV. I think daddy was kinda jealous. Took him 15 years to get on TV but they just didn't have all the video cameras back then. Anyway, it looked like I was being all crazy and shit but what happened was right before I took off, I took a big ol' drag off my cigarette. Thing is, I had the mask on so when I exhaled the smoke just stayed in the mask. I was chokin and coughin' and carryon' on, couldn't see nothin'. Looks good on that video though. Oh yeah, my youngest is all the time pesterin' me to put the suit on, but she's only 14 and ain't ready yet. It's funny, granddaddy never woulda thought a girl would get in on the family business, but she's going to. By God she's going to. You watch. One day. First woman sasquatch.

- Vernon Walker, age 41, from Of Beasts and Burdens: An Oral History of North Carolina Sasquatch Impersonators, University of North Carolina Press

Jeff (#1,701)

Or a guy in a ghillie suit.

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