The Terrible Semen Story That Is On Everybody's Lips
According to a recent study, certain men appear to be allergic to their own semen…. The condition is called POIS or post-orgasmic illness syndrome. After first thinking POIS was psycho-somatic, researchers say they concluded it was an allergy after noting that the symptoms only appeared when semen came in contact with the skin; men who masturbated without ejaculating were void of symptoms. The LA Times says a therapy is in the works, which involved injecting men with concentrated doses of their own semen in an attempt to build up immunity.
Okay, so obviously it's a terrible thing, and we feel incredibly sympathetic toward those poor souls who suffer from the syndrome, but hold on a second: Who the hell masturbates without ejaculating? Why go to all that trouble if you're not going to get the reward? It's like a day without sunshine, or non-alcoholic beer, or a blowjob that ends without a swallow. It's just NOT RIGHT. Good Lord, what a world.
Photo by quinnanya, from Flickr.
Okay, so I really, truly never thought I would say this to you of all people, but Alex, dearest, lovely Alex, "a blowjob that ends without a swallow" = TMI. JESUS CHRIST. It's one thing to know that you don't do scarves or shorts and that you will probably be die of cirrhosis by 50, but now you've gone too far with the revelations.
I…I can't even look at you.
My reaction wasn't so much "EW TMI, TMI!" as it was "My God is that Alex Balk ever an asshole." You mileage may so on and so forth….
Erm, "your mileage" and hey while I have you, any update on when the edit comment function is going to play nicely with IE?
It's all posturing though, isn't it? He's probably too busy crying to even notice if the lady in question has swallowed.
Whatever, you guys. Affront-to-the-sisterhood though I may be, I'm with you, Balk!
When I'm at the podium tonight, I will close with "Even the female DorothyMantooth…"
I had a bf who could orgasm without ejaculating if he applied pressure to a certain spot. Gentlemen, discuss!
You mean like his prostate? I'm confused.
This is one of those things that guys will hear about, and then try it out to see if it works, and then lose patience, and then just do it the old fashioned way.
I'm confused, too, which is why I wish for enlightenment! I want a qualitative comparison.
So it was his prostate? If that's the case, I'm not shocked. Some guys like having their prostate stimulated/ milked. I don't go that route though because I'm kinda frightened of my own anus. I have good reason to think it's haunted.
No, I know for sure it wasn't his prostate (sorry, I missed that). Also, I have never seen this accomplished, or I would have a better idea of the Science.
Never seen it, plus you wouldn't know it if you did see it. Sounds like a myth!
Also, stc, I'm @boyofdessstiny, if you're still interested in that sort of thing.
@boyofdessstiny There's no account under that name on twitter?
Yeah, but who want to touch a dog during sex?
@garge Umm, up the butt, Bob?
Is it just me, or does the excerpt above suggest that they initially thought the gentlemen might be allergic to masturbation itself?
Cake without icing. Beer without a foamy head. Steak without A-1.
Lessee. . .
injecting men with concentrated doses of their own semen
Be sure to stretch first.
Somewhere between those who masturbate without ejaculating and those who masturbate and just let it lie there until an allergic reaction develops are those who think science needs to put more effort into weather machines and time travel and such. Maybe sex robots.
They should just masturbate into a long attachment of the vacuum and replace the vacuum often. No contact with skin, no allergy issue. Costly, yes, but I am sure as much as you boys like this activity, you would not mind the yearly expense.
I just keep a fifty-five gallon drum in the corner
Wait, what? But your semen IS ALREADY IN YOU, before, you know, it's not. So why oh why would injecting it back into you work. And why wouldnt you be allergic to it when it's fucking inside your body. Science, you are, once again, wrong.
Uh, how much money goes into this kind of research?
Jesus Christ, people. This is what socks are for.