History Says 'Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is Going to be Horrifically Bad
Michael Bay, I have personally viewed at least 60% of the content you have made as a director (slightly more than that, if you count the "Got Milk"? campaign and Meat Loaf's video for "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)." So I'm qualified to observe that your work grows exponentially worse in expected, methodical patterns. Bad Boys II? Not as good as Bad Boys I! Armageddon? It followed the far superior The Rock! (And let's remember, The Island followed Bad Boys II, which, oh man, poor Ewan McGregor!) And I don't think the quality progression between the first two Transformers movies even needs to be pointed out. Let's just say the second one was as bad as that G.I. Joe movie, which, that was more like GI Disorder, AM I RIGHT? So now, for the first time, you are making a sequel to a sequel! Michael Bay, I do not think you can trick us about this. This, we can absolutely reasonably expect, will be your most awful, ridiculous, crappily-dialogued, most senselessly explodey creation yet. This is a film to be viewed only in 2012, in bed, with the flu, on the shoddiest of the premium cable services. I WILL NOT SEE YOU IN THE THEATERS IN JULY 2011. WHO'S WITH ME?
"Horrifically bad," or as my wife described Pearl Harbor, "spectacularly crappy."
I'd love to join this pact, but historically my dad visits me in June or so, and last year when he did that he really wanted to see Transformers 2 in theaters, so we did. Ugh, family.
It's actually going to all be in black-and-white, the dialogue consisting entirely of phrases half-uttered and then abruptly broken off, the action amounting largely to lingering gazes, quiet sips from mugs of steaming coffee, and slammed doors. Oh and then Unicron punches the moon in half.
ZOMBIE KRZYSZTOF KIESLOWSKI DIRECTIN YR BLOCKBUSTERRRR
I AM ON BOARD WITH TRANSFORMERS 3 AND FUCK ALL OF YOU. I'M CAMPING OUT RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC RIGHT NOW. BUT I AM SORT OF IN ON THIS.
The reason they use for why the last one was awful (writer's strike), sort of hold up with me?!?! I liked/didn't hate the first one???
I liked this better twenty-five years ago when it was directed by Tope Hooper and called "Lifeforce". #SPACEVAMPIRES
Wait was that the one where Chekov had space sex with a vampire lady, on the moon? SO HOT/GROSS/UNSETTLING
Count me in. Kyle Broflovski said it best: "Michael Bay gets to keep making movies and Cartman gets his own theme park¸ there is no God."
BTW Choire: finished Surface Detail a few weeks ago. Loved it. Thx! Now reading the rest of the series.
I always thought Kyle said "Michael Biehn". This makes more sense.
Can they just do Transformers vs. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark of the Moon and get both of these over with?
Until all the obligatory explosions fights and chases at the end The Island wasn't all that bad really.
Best thing Bay did was that commercial with the tiger where he blows up the swimming pool.
I have managed, thus far, not to see ANY of the Transformers movies. I hope to maintain this record well into the future.
Also, I created an account specifically so I could give a thumbs-up to Moff's comment. That Tranformers is a film I would gladly see.
Look, I've made it super-clear that as soon as they want to give me a movie with the Dino-Bots in it, I will give them my money. Until then, eff a Transformer in the a.
Also, I cannot help but point out that the evil robot had an EVIL METAL GOATEE. I'm not making a value statement about that. I am just pointing it out. Also, his eye was made out of knives, for what I'm sure is a totally valid evolutionary reason.
Fine dude, but by acknowledging that goatees are inherently evil, you're part of the problem you assert you are "not making a value statement" about (We both know you are.)
We have no knowledge of the plot to this film. For all any of us know, the goateed robot is the good guy! You are applying your prejudice of goatees onto that character. OH so I suppose every goateed film character is evil?
“Michael Bay, I have personally viewed at least 60% of the content you have made as a director…”
Kind of like dating someone for months who punches one in the face but making a timid claim of “Okay, now I have a problem…” 3 months and dozens of punches in.
I watched them film this crapfest out my office window all last summer. I can't wait to see this stupid shit.