Thursday, December 16th, 2010

Bomb the Ace Hotel! Every Geek and Blogger Now A Microcelebrity!

Do you know what is apparently happening in New York City right now? "Forget Socialites. Social Mediaites are at the new people to pine after. And the new dream? Let's just say it has a lot less to do with moving from the midwest to Manhattan for a chance to schlep uptown in stiletto's [sic] to fetch coffee for a Conde Nast editor. The new 'it' job is clearly a chance to manage Dennis Crowley/Lockhart Steele/Kevin Kearney and co.'s facebook fan pages." Okay, for starters, updating these people's "Facebook fan pages" is not actually a job, so it can't even be an "it" job? For seconders, and I really do say this with some love for the people involved, but really, has any micro-bubble in history had its head forcibly shoved so far inside its bubble's own asshole? (And yes, I am totally including the housing bubble in that.) The good news! If bloggers and web designers become microcelebrities, with fun gossip blogs following them around, will they all end up addicted to meth and racism like real celebrities? Because that would be terrific entertainment for the coming decade. But anyway, you should know, young aspirant, who apparently wants to update people's Facebook pages for a living: "There are four people that you should meet and get to know if you are hoping to break out into this new media club in NYC." Four! You should meet them! They are named! The new dream! This new media club!

58 Comments / Post A Comment

deepomega (#1,720)

Let's invent careers to hype!

- Writing tweets for newly-famous too-busy social mediaites
- Checking in to foursquare on behalf of fashion label owners
- Selling celebrities' used and soiled clothing on craigslist for them

Don't forget commenting for deepomega! (I trust my lavender-scented resumé has arrived?)

Aatom (#74)

- Cat-sitting for Choire

deepomega (#1,720)

@sorry: It arrived, although I'm not sure you needed to have it hand-delivered by pre-paid prostitutes.

- Bourbon-pouring for Balk

jolie (#16)

@deepomega: Oh please, that's not a new job. I've been sitting under his desk minding the bourbon drip for years. (Sometimes I yank out his leg hairs for a little fun.)

Elizabeth Spiers (#3,505)

I hate to disappoint you, but I think that second one actually exists.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Whatever, this blurb isn't even about the right Ace Hotel.

Multiphasic (#411)

What is up, Elizabeth Spiers? Are you enjoying this party? Can you play "Imagine"?

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

No need to move to Manhattan for that. It can be done in India. Coffee fetching however, cannot.

gumplr (#66)

Redeye wallahs of the world, unite!

pbump (#8,320)

On the plus side, it appears that "Mediaite" is now a real word.

brent_cox (#40)

Sad face.

Tyler Coates (#451)

I just have to meet them? I don't have to give any HJs? My wrists are tired!

we become what we set out to destroy.

Matt (#26)

Dark Knight fillin' / Die a hero / Or live long enuff to see yourself become the villain

NinetyNine (#98)

Yeah, except that worked out a little better for Andersen and Carter.

Multiphasic (#411)

Robert Krulwich elbowed me in the face on the 7 train, and so now I'm awaiting my NIH grant.

NinetyNine (#98)

"Rex Sorgatz liked this."

jolie (#16)

"Rex Sorgatz is sobbingblogging this."

Art Yucko (#1,321)

"Rex Sorgatz told everyone on VYOUBLR about this."

zidaane (#373)

This new dream has a really confused dress code.

fabulousrobots (#4,880)

I had no idea this guestofaguest existed and it is so insanely terrible and poorly written. I guess being a "blogger" means training in "writing" and "grammar" are not as important as being the hangers-on of media scenesters (??!!!).

Sorry, that was harsh. But this:

Okay, it is very tough to pose behind a DJ booth with guys who have giant padded headphones and neon sunglasses and NOT look like douches. Kevin Kearney and Dennis Crowley somehow achieve the impossible and manage to not only NOT look like Dbags, but look hip, relaxed and cool.

NO! Those guys look EXACTLY like douchebags.

she is a terrible writer, which is kind of amazing since her site has been around for so long. but i guess real copyeditors don't get paid in drink tickets.

(and yes to your final point. if that was satire, it was … not well done.)

Leon (#6,596)

argh i am going for an interview to be a 'producer' at a 'new media' company tomorrow. i hope i do not become this. also- job interviews? dear god why have i quit smoking. want a cig now!

Matt (#26)

Honestly, though, my all-time favorite Gawker Stalker picture post is you crossing the street with Kate Hudson. OMG TO THE GOOGLE.

Miles Klee (#3,657)

I thought Brian Van had already put a lid on this?

Matt (#26)

This has nothing to do with bicycles, Miles.

Art Yucko (#1,321)
Matt (#26)

Does this mean it's okay to make fun of Jemina Pearl again?

Brad Nelson (#2,115)

“There are eighteen people that you should meet and get to know if you are hoping to break out into this Summer of Megadeth. They are as follows: Nic Musolino, Jay Casey, Matt Ealer, Brad Nelson, Alexander Christman, Joshua Gallaway, Miles Klee, Maura Johnston, Art Yucko, Andrew Krucoff, Aaron Lefkove, Sheila McClear, Andy Curtin, Annicka Campbell, Neal Ungerleider, Gillian Reagan, Ryan Reid, and Liana Maeby.”

Matt (#26)

I have a theory that Summer of Megadeth is what Gawker always wished it had been.

Matt (#26)

Fuck, shoulda gone with, "You mean to tell me his name's really Art Yucko." If only there were an edit function.

NinetyNine (#98)

Does this mean it's okay to make fun of Brad Nelson again?

A.R. Chrisman (#2,964)

This post would have been deleted if there was a delete function.

Matt (#26)

@Creep: There are lots of great reasons why we'd never want to see Aaron Lefkove in a Deadguy t-shirt.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

“Hi! Nice to meat you! Are you sum of these New Social Mediaguts I keep hearing about?”

petejayhawk (#1,249)

@Matt: I have Art Yucko's business card on a bookshelf/shrine in my study. I would be willing to sell it to you for a price.

iantenna (#5,160)

for the longest time i had no idea what the fuck "summer of megadeth" was. i just figured it was some insidery joke i was too west coast to get. then i googled it and, while i still have no idea what it is, my head hurts more now than before.

Matt (#26)


jolie (#16)

Oh my God and while we're here? IT'S 'HAWLIDAY' YOU FUCKWIT.

Brad Nelson (#2,115)

Haus stylz

BadUncle (#153)

If webdesigners are microcelebrities, I'm quite sure their personal assistants are making microsalaries.

Elizabeth Spiers (#3,505)

The first rule of New Media Club is that no one talks about … Wait, as a purported participant in the bubble, where is my bubble check? (And where is yours, Hottt New Media Publication Whose Growth Is Being Chronicled In The New York Timez?) Did I fill out the wrong paperwork?

brianvan (#149)

You made a mistake on your timesheet. You'll get it in the next pay period.

keanesian (#1,116)

GoaG gets a $20 check every time someone buys a digital photo of themselves from a party? Which I guess happens?

Multiphasic (#411)


6h057 (#1,914)

Remember when all you need was to have your picture taken with a laptop to be considered a blogger?

Yeah, I don't either.

Matt (#26)

Have you heard of this new coffeeshop? It's called Starbucks.

hman (#53)

Poor April Bloomfield.

Matt (#26)

How much does it cost to *not* be introduced to Carney?

Matt Langer (#2,467)

"When asked whether or not they thought the country was on the right track, Awl readers responded unanimously in the affirmative, noting that after fifty-some-odd comments in a thread about fameballing nobody considered her relevant or memorable enough to make even a single joke about Julia Allison."

caw_caw (#5,641)

I am going to refrain from public comment and act like I get anything beyond the bourbon references.

alorsenfants (#139)

Is East 29th Street now considered to be an interesting part of town?
Because it wasn't when I was there in August!
Look at the hotel's website: wow, you can walk to the Garden!

Seems like everyday, people are trying to make lemonade with lemons about places in the city (which I love) that really aren't happening. I understand that some of the interesting parts of town are just prohibitive now. But I don't think that will help Hell's Kitchen, Inwood, Fort Greene, or Bay Ridge.

Sorry — I don't get into town a lot, but am betting I'm right –

carpetblogger (#306)

I have known peter feld for almost 20 years and he has not helped in any regard except getting me drunk, which may be the key to his current success.

osmium (#7,705)

I remember you well at the Ace Hotel, you were blogging so brave and so sweet. Giving me head in the Awl comments, while the limousines wait in the street. Those were the reasons and that was New York we were running for the money and the flesh. And that was called work to the recent college graduates in song. Probably still is for those of them left.

Post a Comment