The Most Hilarious Piece You'll Ever Read About Gays in the Military

D.C. comedy site “The Daily Caller” has a hilarious piece today, extremely Swiftian and sophisticated in its humor and irony! It is by a former Tennessee District Attorney, named Joe Rehyansky. It goes like this: “I have never encountered my eminently sensible proposal, one that protects the patriotic urges of some homosexuals as well as the national interest on the basis of ‘force readiness’ arguments which should govern the thinking of those charged with implementing the defense of our country: Lesbians should be allowed to serve, gay men (hereafter ‘gays’) should not.” Fascinating idea right? He argues this case extremely hilariously well! Here’s my favorite ironic transition: “Most men who are sexually attracted to other men can and do indulge their promiscuous urges with little or no restraint; i.e., it’s ‘party time’ all the time. My wife and I watched a sad documentary about AIDS a few years ago.” [Pauses. Re-reads. Pauses again. Goes out for a cigarette. Comes back. Re-reads.] But wait, it gets even better. UPDATE: It actually “does get better” because that piece was just actually removed from the Daily Caller website. UPDATE AGAIN: Oh and now it’s back!

I mean: “It’s no secret that men are generally much more susceptible to sexual arousal through visual stimuli than are most women. Many gays will deny that this is the case with them, but why then is the Internet saturated with gay porn?”

Yes, why. Why is that. That speaks to me.

Our author is humble too. “I don’t claim to be a Constitutional law scholar on a par with President Obama,” he writes.

Anyway, if you’re not already rolling in the aisles/cubicles, the piece has a punchline that you literally won’t believe!

(And now you’ll never see it because it has apparently been disappeared.)