Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

See? You Do So Put the Yogurt "Up There"

There are many times in my life when women have argued with me, "You don't actually put the yogurt in your vagina to treat a yeast infection! That's crazy!" And I'm always like, "Yes, girl. You do. Trust me, I grew up in California." And now there are actual twin nurses with an advice column backing me up. (Also may I reccommend Old Chatham Sheepherding Company's yogurt? For eating or otherwise. It's the best yogurt on the planet!)

30 Comments / Post A Comment

mjfrombuffalo (#2,561)

Eww to the nth, seriously.

carpetblogger (#306)

The internet has its head so far up its own ass you can see its lips moving.

LotaLota (#1,703)

Matter of fact, that's where I culture my Amish Friendship Bread starter!

Ok, I was gonna be all man-like and joke, "Flavor to taste." But, well read it yourself.


Villa (#2,985)

I love everything about this: the source, the vindication, the anti-otc advice, the yogurt and of course the vagina talk.

Brian (#115)

You are such a queen, I love that yogurt too.

laloca03 (#8,010)

that sheep's milk yogurt has an unmistakeable muttony taste. i can't stand it. my dog, on the other hand, loves it.

thatsrealbutter (#2,095)

The one with the chunks of ginger (runs to local hippie market with $4)

thatsrealbutter (#2,095)

But only for eating!

zidaane (#373)

Everyone likes a berry surprise.

Whaaaat? The weekend matron at my boarding school once advised a girl who was potentially yeasty to put yoghurt on a tampon and, you know, insert it (no not-gross way to say that), but I thought it was just crazy-lady talk (that particular matron wore lots of silver and amethyst jewellery and took like 20 cigarette breaks per shift). Didn't realise it was an actual 'thing'!

MollyculeTheory (#4,519)

Crossover eating-medicinal products make me feel uncomfortable. Even calcium gummies! Carnation dry milk is used for some molecular biology procedures and now I cannot deal with the powdered creamers because I feel like I am putting lab supplies in my mouth?

That is why I could never use Blistex after having worked in a lab – it has a small percentage of phenol, which I guess is safe, but still, that smell is unmistakable, and there's no way I could ever put that on my lips.

Though I guess it doesn't apply to everything. I still love vinegary salad dressing, even after someone smashed a bottle of glacial acetic acid and made the whole place smell like salad.

MollyculeTheory (#4,519)

Also salt and sugar, obvs – maybe in those cases it has to do with the packaging? Agreed about the Blistex though!

BadUncle (#153)

I would figure kiefer would be an easier medium to work with. And I don't mean the Sutherland kind.

Way to bury the lede, Choire: "What you need to do is stick a clove of it in there, which you can do it during the day — although creepily and revoltingly you'll actually be able to taste it."

Taste it???? That sounds like the basis of the funniest science fair project ever. Also, taste it? I don't even.

mishaps (#5,779)

You know, Vic Chesnutt (RIP) has a great song in which the narrator reminisces about a high-school girlfriend:

Once she soaked a tampon in some serious vodka, wore it to school
Second-period science class, she fell right off her stool.

I have always assumed this would work but have been hesitant to try it out because it didn't seem like it would be comfortable. Now all I can think is: Science project!

dham (#4,652)

This works! And is arguably no grosser than the usual cures.

HiredGoons (#603)

'And I'm always like, "Yes, girl. You do. Trust me, I grew up in California."'

I always knew there would be a day I stopped GChatting Choire Sicha.

soco (#8,225)

Is Choire the yogurt diaper man? Or are there answers we dare not know?

Dave Bry (#422)

The Sheepherders camembert is also among the world's finest. (I imagine there are French people who might take issue with that, but) Man, so amazingly creamy and delicious. We went to visit the place—the farm in Old Chatham, I mean, not France—and my kid, who was maybe three years old at the time, slightly electrocuted himself on the electric fence of a sheep pen. Then, strangely, went back and touched it again, and again. Like, somehow the shocks were enticing. Kids are weird.

garge (#736)

God, I have some really good garlic-cloves-in-the-vag stories, but I am a few drinks in and know myself well enough to know that I tend to lose track of the "line" and don't want to "cross" it, especially with a bawl coming up.

I'll just instead be servicey and say don't bother with the dental floss or cheesecloth, you'll be able to get the garlic out as easily as ben wa balls (which is to say "easily").

/dated someone from California

Edith Zimmerman (#5,210)


Gilroy, California?

Regardless, you could probably support yourself for a whole year with one weekend's worth of work there…

Clip Arthur (#2,024)

Fage vage?

Shouldn't this have a RECIPES tag?


City_Dater (#2,500)

This is a conversation you've had "many times"? Now I am sad.

There shouldn't be that many women out there who need to be told how to tend to their parts by a gay man who is not a medical professional.

You're absolutely right; Advice should come from a straight man who is not an amateur.

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