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A party, thrown by readers for readers! Friday, December 10, from 6 to 10 p.m. At the Gallery Bar, 120 Orchard Street (between Rivington & Delancey). Mark your calendars now. More to come. AN UPDATE: Change of venue! To the Ella Lounge, at 9 Avenue A! Be there! Not the other place!
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=(
Turn that frown upside down and book a flight!
Spoiler, it will look like this: =)
get in losers, we're going shopping.
You appear to have turned my frowny face into a penis. Just a…
….
heads up.
I share your pain.
Seems win/win to me!
And Doctor, I think you should come too. I will meet you at the bus station with a winter jacket and a sign that reads '1970'
Will wassail be made available?
Nah, Schumer had it outlawed in-state.
Oh good, a bunch of awkward internet people standing around drinking and exchanging tumblr and twitter ids. Sounds like my kind of thing. Seriously. I'll be there.
Who'll bring the lemon squares?
Yayyyyyyyy.
This makes up for the fact that I just spilled coffee down the front of my favorite dress shirt!
Time to get the chicken suit out of storage.
Hooray! Jolie, you are truly the hostess with the mostest!
This reminds me, who do I have to blow to get a 3 digit number? I'm so self-conscious about it!
I consider you a 3-digiter in spirit, deepo
I appreciate it, BoD, but don't try and talk me out of giving a blowjob!
I feel your pain. If only I'd known the regret I'd feel. I really was "long time reader, first time commenter" too late in the piece.
Price negotiable. Only been driven on Sundays by an old cowboy on his way to the bar.
We need to start owning this, guys. As teen-hundreders, we belong to our own proud and distinct class of commenter.
Of course you do, you show so much pluck. And we're all rooting for you so hard here in White Plains.
@DD: I've been waiting for the 10,000th to join so I'd have something to feel special about.
I am making my inaugural comment to gloat about my 3 digit number. so…HA!
"They are overly impressed by false status, generally."
I think I win this false status dick contest.
You have to invent time travel and go back about 27 months.
Also, my new combination of actual picture of myself plus real name, but minus spaces for some reason. Good? Bad? How does that work within this hierarchy?
Deck the Hawls with Bawls of Hawly!
Fawlawlawlawlawl, lawlawlawlawl!
I think everyone should wear a BumpIt. Yes, EVERYONE. Like yarmulkes, but different.
I saw a girl wearing three of those things the other day. They were arranged in a rank to give her a sort of triceratops crest. (This description is by no means an endorsement.)
For the girl who wants to fuck guys who want to fuck a triceratops.
@deepo – I want your comment on a t-shirt.
@Deep: OK, everyone wear a BumpIt AND fuck a dinosaur!
@C_Webb: Open the door, get on the floor. Everybody fuck a dinosaur.
(Boom, boom, acka lacka boom boom)
Someone tell Jolie we'll need dinosaurs. She'll know what to do.
c_webb, I got your dinosaur right here, after jesus gets finished with him…
Yea! Drinking! And sugary snacks!
(Where there is Jolie, there are baked goods…delicious baked goods — thank you in advance for the lemon squares and bourbon balls, dear one)
Dare I suggest a Bourbon Bawl-Off?
Is this a contest to see who cries the most while drinking too much bourbon? Cause we've probably got a LOT of contenders in the NYC area.
Gracious, that has all kind of drunken pornographic possibilities.
Does the Gallery Bar have a strict no-chooching policy?
Second-hand chooching is no laughing matter.
Is there a sign up sheet for desserts?
We could use the SIGN-UP WIZARD! (I might know about this because I'm a class mother, but I'm not organizing dick for you people. Or rather, I will organize dick, but not who brings the apple juice. AND I'M PUTTING PEANUTS IN EVERYTHING.)
Organize dick = hiring the strippers, right?
I think, based on some tumblr-stalking, that Jolie is incommunicado for the near future, and since no one has stepped up in the past hour or so, I will say – email me if you want to make something, I guess? cherrispryte at gmail dot com. I will pass said list on to the queen bee when she is back on the internet.
Unless you were kidding, in which case, nevermindsies.
Warning: Strippers may contain peanuts.
Dessert sign up sheet:
1. jolie: bourbon balls
2. garge: smores
3. kneetoe: just.
I kind of want to bring, cuz yeah making stuff! But also, I feel weird bringing food to a bar to hang out with strangers? Like, I know my kitchen is clean as hell, but have you seen some peoples? And people think that about my kitchen maybe, cuz everyone is paranoid? Or just me? SO NEUROTIC NOW THX
@kneetoe: 4. c_webb: dinosaurs, dick
kneetoe, smores? is that some kind of euphemism?
good idea, actually, the separates will travel well, and everything is ultimately flammable–!
@c_webb: Ambitious: requires time travel and/or stem cells.
@garge: Sorry, I just got (remained) lazy, but I knew you'd make the most of it.
I propose people bringing Awl-themed treats and then we can have Balk judge pick a winner. We already know that anything with booze in it will have a leg up but at least we'll get Balk to hang around longer…
Tuna, I have exhausted my rolodex and all of my wiles, and can't find your contact info anywhere. I am afraid I have to proposition you in front of everyone and entreat you to email me at aka.garge –> gmail!
This is the same day NYC's Four Loko ban goes into effect.
What I am saying is I will be sneaking a Four Loko into Gallery Bar.
Just one?
@Miles: Good, more PBR and Jack Daniel's for me. Is that still a thing?
I'm starting my workouts tonight – gonna fit into the same pants I wore when these began back in 1968!
Two days before my birthday! Just a fun fact for everyone.
Also, yay! I got wonderfully no-dinner tipsy at the last one of these, and then got the BEST FALAFEL EVER from a truck on west 4th st. It was an amazing night.
I am a huge fan of no-dinner tipsy.
Ooh, you're my commenter neighbor! (sorry, I am amused by the little things)
Hi neighbor!
I can't make it to the party, but I will shed my longtime lurker status and say hi to everyone. So, then: Hi!
Hello!
Hi! Let me go find the Hazing Paddle.
And some disinfectant.
I am also shedding my lurker status. I wish I didn't live on the other side of the continent, or else I would give thought of going to this.
Ooh, I found a couple lurker statuses on the ground. Anyone want 'em? Anyone? Awesome, I'm DOUBLE LURKY.
Is this an elite commentariat thing or can the vaguely creepy hangers-on attend too? I am good at drinking, swearsies!
As a vaguely creepy hanger-on, I've always thought of your comments as being of a higher class.
Oh, thanks!
hangers-on unite!
I'm a creepy hanger-on, also comment so little I'm a quasi-lurker maybe? But I have a 3 digit commenter number which some seem to associate with some sort of status apparently so that's good I guess? Anyway, I really wanted to go to the last one of these but was so freaked out about it I couldn't make myself go, mostly because I was afraid everyone would be so much smarter and better looking than me as I then heard they were . . .Anyway, conflicted here is I guess what I'm saying.
This slug could have been: "FREE FOR AWL"
What does David Cho love more: Cee Lo, or puns?
ALLCAPS :)
Gwyneth.
@David Cho: So you're paying?
FUN FOR AWL IT IS
Oh it's on … IT'S ON LIKE GRAY POUPON IT'S SO ON!!
Pumped to attend, but may still be hungover from the fourloko holiday party I am attending the previous weekend.
(thanks for drinking tips, awl!)
and WOW, commenter number 7691? now i feel self-conscious.
It is OK Ms Snow. It's cool to have a big number now. But you still do need some sort of amusing picture.
If my December plans suddenly change and I end up half-way across the country, I will SO BE THERE. (Disclaimer: this will not happen.)
Have fun, you guys!
NAMETAGS!
kthxbai (is that still a thing?)
I nominate Clarence to chair the NAMETAGS committee~
Argh! Crippling shyness!
Also, you are the nametag antichrist.
I suppose I am. SPPSM TNMTGNTCHRST.
@garge: I'm ON IT. Although I hope you like G A R G E in ransom note font.
@Clarence, I would be delighted! I will, myself, contribute a silver sharpie and fake blood capsules to the supply order.
Nametags picked out of a hat! (Or a hat-like container.)
:(
:( + :( = :*(
If anyone wants to fly me out, I'll pay them back in drawings. I'm easy too! I'll just drink alone in a dark corner somewhere and only chime in once every few months.
Why?!?! Why are these always held when I am out of the country? I am starting to get a little paranoid about it.
this is very exciting!
It fills me with Glee™.
At least you didn't miss a two digit by three people…
I'm a bit disconcerted by the notion of introducing myself by this ridiculous handle, but hey, why not?
Could be worse. Imagine your nametag said "Chris Lehmann".
Or "Awl Staff." What a sellout that guy is.
I once said to a lady that I was "Awl Staff". She was later disappointed.
Will there be a Hairpin afterparty to crash?
Suggestions for how to fill the Hairpiñata?
Lemons and travel-size deodorant.
I literally can't fathom how awkward I would be at this party if I attended. Sitting in the corner sipping scotch until I got loose enough to dance by myself near enough to a group of dancing people. Sweating exactly enough to be 'that guy.' I don't think I could handle it all. I'm sweating now just thinking about it.
Um, does anyone want to have a stuffy yet striving DC version of this?
I'm in.
yes!
so happy about the change of venue. gallery bar is for sods.