Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

God Hates Bears

"God makes it clear in Scripture that deaths of people and livestock at the hands of savage beasts is a sign that the land is under a curse. The tragic thing here is that we are bringing this curse upon ourselves."
—Bryan Fischer of the conservative American Family Association declares that it is time we take out the bears.

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Chairman Meow (#820)

There is, perhaps, biblical precedent for this, in 2 Kings 2:23-25, the story of Elisha, maybe the best part of the Bible:

23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

You're in good company, among those / who read the Bible for its prose:

"If the two bears that ate up the 42 little children who said to Elisha, 'Go up, thou baldhead' — if they, after getting their PhDs from Uni Göttingen had retired to Atta Troll's castle and written a book called A Prolegomenon to Every Future Criticism of Finnegans Wake, they might have written so." — Randall Jarrell, execrating literary theorists circa anno 1950 for their literary style.

@Chairman Meow: "The best part of the bible" has always been Ezekiel 23:20. At least to us snickering 10-year-olds.

BadUncle (#153)

So, this curse – is it monthly?

scrooge (#2,697)

Right weird. I'm thinking he must have been bitten by a dog when he was a baby, or something.

s. (#775)

He's also the scholar who wrote this hermeneutic masterpiece that explained why Jesus also wouldn't have put out the fire at that house in Tennessee that hadn't paid its fire fee.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Bryan Ferry has been preaching this same shit for years, and he still can't get into Hell.

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