Friday, October 15th, 2010

The Youngs Confront Their Oversharing: Blogs B4 Boyfriendz

!!!Millennial rules for dating and blogging: "I have probably ruined countless relationships with my penchant for oversharing and the somewhat naïve belief that honesty trumps all else. Writing is my one true love. Everyone else-from sweet, corn-fed boys with curly hair to rough older men with adroit hands-will always come second. I'm probably not as sorry about that as I should be." Jesus Christ, you kids, no one is going to be able to run for Senator in twenty years!

111 Comments / Post A Comment

DainCurst (#3,377)

"My sex life will always be alluded to through literary devices, never graphically addressed" kills the entire thing for me. We all know that men will forgive being made to look like assholes so long as you tell the world what studs they are as well.

I'm concerned that the author feels "adroit hands" to be a "literary device."

Actually, I'm just concerned about the phrase "adroit hands," because ew Harlequin Romance Time.

riotnrrd (#840)

Hey, the girl likes a good fingerbang. Can you blame her?

Jacques Day (#5,697)

So you read this piece by an insane, narcissistic young woman (who's actually totally boring), and you thought this was an opportunity to slander men?

With an attitude like that, you're never going to find a nice guy to marry.

Slava (#216)

I read that as 'android' Which, what?!?

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Jacques, that isn't slander. It is (a) hilarious and (b) true. Seriously, dudes? Straw poll: raise your hand if you would object to "he can be such a jerk, but he's great in bed." Anyone?

@Gef: I think it's less creepy if you go back to the word's roots and imagine that one of his thumbs is on the wrong side.

@DoctorDisaster : I suppose it's better than rough older men with sinister hands.

iantenna (#5,160)

i like the old internet when we would sit around and talk shit about people we didn't know.

propertius (#361)

There's still Usenet.

Isn't there?

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

I am without speech.

Ok, I'm not, but holy smokes! What kind of a sociopath writes something like this: "I think that the trick to all of this is finding someone who appreciates my love of words, who is not afraid of me portraying him as an asshole or a douche bag."

What does having a love of words have to do with treating people you like like garbage!?

DMcK (#5,027)

"I think that the trick to all of this is finding someone who appreciates my love of words attention, who is not afraid of me portraying him as an asshole or a douche bag." FIXED

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Good! Now can you follow her around all day and make sure she doesn't say anything else too maniacal?

DMcK (#5,027)

Ain't MY kid.

Tulletilsynet (#333)

"The trick is finding someone who is happy with always letting writing logorrhea come first." FIXED

She shouldn't give up hope. There are plenty of geniuses she could pair up with on the basis of pretending to take each other's uncensored blather seriously.

ragold (#2,746)

What kind of sociopath? A textbook sociopath.

Brad Nelson (#2,115)

Wait, [i]Millenials Magazine[/i] is a real thing? I thought Krucoff made it up. [i]As a joke[/i].

Brad Nelson (#2,115)

Who was on a message board recently? This guy.

Also, the part of your personal life that is occupied by the person you are dating–this part usually produces boring, boring prose. Even when you are just blogging.

Art Yucko (#1,321)


Brad Nelson (#2,115)

And using that Facebook screenshot? God.


#56 (#56)

I have an "anonymous" blog read almost exclusively by exes at this point. We have a don't, ask don't tell policy. They pretend not to read it and I pretend it's not me.

GoGoGojira (#2,871)

That sounds like my blog. Except I know my exes read it but I pretend that it has loftier purposes other than being an open letter to my exes and anyone else bored enough to read it.

Jeff Barea (#4,298)

What's your secret? I have like 4 readers and that would multiply my readership exponentially!

ehcotton (#358)

God, think about the fucking squares that WILL be running for office after all of this.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Fortunately, we won't have civil liberties issues like warrantless wiretapping, since everyone will be blogging everything anyway.

cherrispryte (#444)

Ugh, is it that fucking hard to set boundaries?

saythatscool (#101)

@Cherri: Can I touch your bosom?

iantenna (#5,160)

or, you know, just write about shit that actually interests people other than your own circle-jerk of friends.

cherrispryte (#444)

@stc: as we are on the internet, i can only say: get me drunk and ask again.

cherrispryte (#444)

@iantenna: I am guilty of tumblring hopelessly inane things, so I can't really guilt them for that. But mine tend to be more about my current level of satisfaction with the world bank website, rather than an idiotic conversation with my idiot boyfriend. Also, I am self-aware, so that helps.

HiredGoons (#603)

Isn't this actually a good thing?

So many people should not be in the relationships they are in.

e-Darwinism, etc.

Guys, this is just natural selection. Let it work.

metoometoo (#230)

Last weekend my boyfriend and I had a giant screaming fight about my blog oversharing. (I don't overshare about our relationship, but about weed and other illegal drug use, which makes him nervous even though I have repeatedly assured him that if he ever decides to go into politics I will promptly break up with him.)

I admire your priorities! Truly.

6h057 (#1,914)

This thread is confusing me into caring.

Miles Klee (#3,657)

Every time someone uses the phrase "feel less alone," I feel more alone.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Yeah! Or, "Feel less, alone."

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

"[my] naïve belief that honesty trumps all else."

Channeling Christine O'Donnell there? Remind me not to hide in her attic when I am a little Jewish girl under a Nazi regime.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Can't there be an "UGH, THE YOUNGS" tag? Or "EYEROLL"?

deepomega (#1,720)

Only if there can be an "UGH, THE OLDS WITH THEIR 90S MUSIC" tag.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Defensive Young. Go Tumblr about it or something.

Art Yucko (#1,321)


melis (#1,854)


gabba_gabba_hey (#6,046)

Also, stupid personal choices aside, she writes pretty shittily for someone who claims that "writing is [their] one true love."

"Imbued with poignant meaning"?
"Meticulously crafted representations" AND "cobbled-together depictions"??
"Void of complexity"???
"A fact that stroked his ego"????

True love could use a better editor.

It is a love of the smothering kind.

@gabba_gabba_hey: The writing is bad. Truly. A pain to the eyes/mind.

Slava (#216)

She writes like a teenager, I think we can all get over it.

DMcK (#5,027)

Also, Millennials: any middle ground between "Liz Phair wannabe" and "Juggalette stripper"? 'Cause both iterations basically have me praying to asteroids.

melis (#1,854)

I can only imagine some sort of dead-eyed Liz Phair stripper?

Slava (#216)

I thought Liz Phair WAS the middle ground between "Liz Phair wannabe" and "Juggalette stripper"

deepomega (#1,720)

NOT ALL THEYOUNGS ARE LIKE THIS. I use my Tumblitter mostly to post pictures of cats and to complain about music? Much better, we can all agree.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Mine is mostly Gossip Girl recaps, songs from TV commercials, and beer! Dreck, for sure, but at least it has discretion!

cherrispryte (#444)

Having just reblogged something genuinely fantastic from deepomega's tumblr onto my tumblr, I would like to point out that yes, THEYOUNGS ARE NOT ALL LIKE THIS.

deepomega (#1,720)

<3 u cherri

SeanP (#4,058)

My own Tumbling (Tumblring?) is pretty inane too, but it really doesn't matter, since no one reads it anyway (snif).

But yeah. Jeez, lady, this seems pretty simple. Don't turn your life into a blog-based reality show, and maybe your friends and romantic interests will be a little more open with you.

NinetyNine (#98)

"They like self-linking generally."

Niko Bellic (#1,312)


"ew this is so not the message that i wanted to get from you".

So, it's not that it's wrong or bad or off the mark, it's much, much worse: it's not what I wanted!

erikonymous (#3,231)

Roy: Finding out that other people have opinions and feelings is not what I was interested in learning.

It is things like this that make me glad my love life has been such a disastrous wasteland. I had to find other things to write about early!

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Now I feel kinda bad for enjoying your writing so much.

Kyle Chayka (#7,634)

I was definitely introduced to your writing through your (excellent) coverage of your disastrous love life wasteland. Thanks for reading anyway!

You're welcome! Although I think you are confusing my my early-career writing with my mid-career editing of the writing of others!

erikonymous (#3,231)

Hey, Jessica Roy: Girls can be douchebags too! Also: you are one!
Being a writer and being classy are not mutually exclusive. Being "honest" (scare quotes because, hey, subjectivity!) also does not equate to being a good writer. You have so much to learn about life!

erikonymous (#3,231)

this is not something I'm usually prone to say in a public forum, because I don't wanna come off as all "hey get off my lawn," and I don't want to come down on the Youngs too hard because, hey, I was one not too long ago, but people under 30 just probably shouldn't be writing. like, anything.
I first noticed this when I was an early-20-something in a writing workshop, and the older people in the workshop always wrote WAY BETTER stories. all the Youngs, probably myself included, wrote awful, oversharey, derivative crap. living a little will help your writing! so you don't have to write boyfriend smears on blogs! seriously, we've had enough of that by now!

iantenna (#5,160)

conversely, how come the youngs have always been so much better at writing songs?

JHenryWaugh (#212)

I'm on your side but that Probably is not helping.

LondonLee (#922)

Because they're stll naive enough to think that pop music matters?

bthny (#2,907)

How do I tell if I'm a Young or not?

HiredGoons (#603)

If you have to ask, you'll never know.

Neopythia (#353)

What percentage of your communication with your significant other is through Facebook, Twitter, etc?

bthny (#2,907)

My significant other is a bottle of

bthny (#2,907)

GIN, a bottle of gin.

Matt (#26)

Aw. Thought you were accepting the SOM "___" convention there!

Art Yucko (#1,321)


HiredGoons (#603)

Hendricks or death.

barnhouse (#1,326)

@HiredGoons There is always Hendricks, so we will live forever.

bthny (#2,907)

this is the most true thing I have ever read on the internet.

Matt (#26)

It was a very good year for rough older men with adroit hands

Matt (#26)

Do you see? Do you see why Frank never approved of Nancy and Frank Jr. getting into the business?

NinetyNine (#98)

"They like Andrew Krucoff generally."

Art Yucko (#1,321)

here, I'll just do it to myself: "dude."

Brad Nelson (#2,115)

Who the fuck is Andrew Krucoff?

Matt (#26)

Quick, Maura, Krucoff, Casey, and King D. all reply to this so we can form SOM Voltron. (By which I mean David Coverdale.)

"Sure he likes the Breeders, he thinks Green Day's pretty swell/ But what about the Bartlebees and Neutral Milk Hotel"

6h057 (#1,914)


Slava (#216)

What?! Maura is with the SOM?!?

@Brad: Krucoff is a very important Internet pioneer. He invented insideriness.

Really, he should have patented it at the time. He could have been rich by now.

cinetrix (#47)


Matt (#26)

I like that one of the ads is for online Ministry degrees.

I'm a founding member.

David Cho (#3)

You should never generalize a group by their most extreme.

erikonymous (#3,231)

all you reasonable types are the worst!!!

MollyculeTheory (#4,519)

Ugh, what happened to being nineteen, getting mad about your relationship, and posting a totally oblique livejournal post that could be about how your bf is a douche but could also be about you seeing a dead dog on the side of the highway, or maybe a comparative essay on Anne Carson and antimatter?

C_Webb (#855)

Whatever happened to being nineteen, getting mad about your relationship, getting hammered on wine coolers, throwing a drink on him at a party, storming out, and then crying to your actual real live physically present friends in the bathroom before deciding to hit on your now-assumedly-ex's roommate, then throwing up in a potted plant? These kids have NO idea what fun is.

iantenna (#5,160)

whatever happened to being nineteen, and being so stoked about getting laid for the first time ever that there was no chance of you ever getting mad at her about anything because, jesus christ, YOU WERE FINALLY GETTING LAID. (applicable only to dudes, mostly).

katiechasm (#163)

I'm going to try these and report back.

love, a 19-year-old

HiredGoons (#603)

Shouldn't these kids being out doing drugs?

C_Webb (#855)


Miles Klee (#3,657)


iplaudius (#1,066)

Is this something that boys do too, or just girls?

johnny_carsick (#7,535)

I don't understand these people, and I'm barely older than they are. The gulf between being 18 in 2000 and being 18 in 2005 is ridiculous.

bb (#295)

it's all pretty bad, but you have to admit that the dude does plenty of work making himself look like a douchebag as he nit-picks her depiction of him (click through to full screenshot in the article). Lesson: don't do any of the above – be an oversharey personal blogger or date an oversharey personal blogger.

also, I liked this article better when it was a NYT profile of Emily. (sorry, too easy)

numbersix (#85)

A+, would LOL again

I am constantly mining relationships and personal exchanges for the gem of a story, selfishly treating the people I care about like characters in a novel.

But the problem sounds like you don't actually go so far as to actually create a story, or fictionalize anything to draw out the beauty in it, or protect the dignity of people in your life, but simply post your life exactly as it unfolds, counting on your looks to repair whatever social damage your writing does to your life?

So what part of this makes you a better fiction writer I wonder?

SeaBassTian (#281)

I'm tempted to post this entire thread to my Tumblr as some kind of cautionary tale about Gen Y & their ill-advised over-sharey future-killing blog habits!

A.R. Chrisman (#2,964)

Everything The Awl is telling me today is that I'm not special, just a terrible Young, and will only learn by being ridiculed.


DigThatFunk (#2,457)

Eh, fuck it, most old people are just pissed because they want to feel like their experience and time spent dying is worth something that is only attainable through said means. I'm approaching 30(okay, not really, I'm barely on this side of 25) but I still feel 18 at heart; plenty of young people are very smart, mature(when called for), and have way more wisdom and intelligence than many old people could hope to attain through eons of wasted life. Just like plenty of Olds are much stupider than they believe their experience makes them. The truth of the matter is that most people, at most ages, in most places, are dumb fucking assholes.

A.R. Chrisman (#2,964)

I really Dig That Funk.

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