Friday, October 22nd, 2010

The Black Eyed Peas Are Back and You Have to Hear This Heinous Single!

Raiding the worst of the 80s, the Black Eyed Peas have released a semi-cover of the improbably titled "(I've Had) The Time of My Life," the Dirty Dancing-enabled monster-smash duet of late 1987. Were you there? It was terrible. Fortunately, the BEP have reduced the title to "The Time" because, words r long. And then they took a bath in Autotune. It fits nicely in their genre of "it's Friday night, let's get dressed to go out and dance in the mirror and everything is going to be awwweesssoommme" music. (All that being said, the synthy verse beat part of the song is kind of great, it's undeniable.) Still: "It's hot in haaarrr, the temperatchuuurrr" is a real lyric. (Missy Elliott, we should mention here, is on the way back, thank you Jesus: "two singles will come bk to bk in a few," she Tweeted yesterday.) In any event, now you know, and you will hear "The Time" on the radio all winter, so tear the speakers out of your car immediately.

44 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

Do I really have to?

olmucky (#542)

Immabe Immabe ImmaImmaImmaBe ill.

Kevin Patterson (#5,933)


Groovymarlin (#3,329)

I feel ill.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Sad. If they had just done a dance cover of the song everyone knows and likes, it wouldn't be awful. (I'm a BEP semi-defender; my pal used to work at the publishing company that owned their rights, so I always imagined him getting a nickle every time "Let's Get It Started" got played. I know that's not how it works, and then they also fired him, so I dunno why I keep it up.)

jrb (#3,020)

Glad they've once again clarified their position on shots.

I don't want to imply that the 80s were fabulous, but they were much better immediately following the 70s.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

There's one button I will not, under any circumstances, ever click on.

I remain steadfastly on Team Medley/Warnes.

Spena (#640)

The Black Eyes Peas have managed to tarnish nostalgia I don't even have.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Your nostalgia for Sandals commercials?

OMG I have that nostalgia.

Miles Klee (#3,657)

"Remember when we never went there but had an idea of what it would be like?"

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

A dialogue box says this plugin is crashing my browser. I prefer to believe my computer is protecting me from a vicious assault.

hockeymom (#143)

I'm doing it wrong. How do I make the sound come out of that little bar thingy?
I need to know what song some well-meaning parent will edit the year-end hockey highlight to.
Those videos are always a treat.

Click on the triangle on the right side of the bar that is pointing left. It works, I let it play for 2 seconds!

GAH! "on the left side of the bar that is pointing right."

hockeymom (#143)

Thank you?
Now imagine this song edited to hockey highlights. Because I am certain I'll be looking at the bantam season set to this song next March.

Bittersweet (#765)

Hey, at least you'll be prepared…to hit the mute button.

zidaane (#373)

Wedding DJ alert.

Lux Alptraum (#3,933)

A little piece of my childhood just died.

hockeymom (#143)

Is it wrong that I've always hated this song? I feel guilt, because of the cancer and all…but this song stunk last century and stinks in this century, too.

KarenUhOh (#19)

What's so remarkable is that I did not think it was possible to make it smell even more.

Bryan Keller (#3,804)

And to think they missed the opportunity to cover "Take My Breath Away"! Or did they?

City_Dater (#2,500)

Shut up! Damn, too late!
*Fergie & Co. let out happy squeals, runn back into the studio to shred and destroy Berlin's one hit*

Bittersweet (#765)'s already shredded the Buggles, so I know nothing from my childhood is safe.

Matt (#26)



Rod T (#33)

If that whole "writing" thing doesn't work out, DJ Sicha could totes produce Black Guy Pee songs.

I look forward to slaughtering this on DJ Hero.

Has nobody made the "(I've Had) The Time Of My Humps" joke yet?

OK then.

Coffee, sprayed, keyboard, etc.

Zan McQuade (#8,108)

Somebody please reset my jaw: this is absolutely the most torturous song I have ever heard. (And I've heard multiple tracks by Rednex.) It should be played exclusively to extract cult leaders from compounds.

(So torturous, in fact, that I actually registered to be a commenter here, which I'd been avoiding doing because I didn't want to be embarrassed by the really big number next to my name, indicating how late I was to the party. Though now I'm just embarrassed that it was the Black Eyed Peas who brought me to the party…)

melis (#1,854)

I'm still freaked out that they've added commas to our commenter numbers. Commas!

forrealz (#1,530)

Yes! The commas are bothersome. Who moved my cheese.

migraineheadache (#1,866)

I feel like a cameo from Crazy Frog would really push this over the top.

You know what I just realized? "I Gotta Feeling" is basically "I've Had the Time of My Life" … same chords, same feel — just different lyrics.

So maybe this is just the creators of one crappy-and-inescapable tune paying tribute to the original crappy-and-inescapable tune they ripped it off from.

I can't believe I actually played this song – my well-loved laptop and innocent monitor speakers feel so filthy now. I love the pop music as much as the next media whore – but every single element of this track fights itself.

This song makes me feel like when someone keeps telling you something over and over – "I'm fine", "I'm so happy", "I'm having a good time" – it more often than not means the opposite.

The repetition of the phrase "dirty bit" ratchets the bad up to awful. Fuck this song in the face until it dies.

iantenna (#5,160)

it's hard to believe that they came from the same fruitful '90s LA scene that brought us jurassic 5, ozomatli, and dilated peoples. as tiresome as those groups have become they're the fucking beatles circa '66 compared to this atrocity.

nloewen (#4,040)

Yes, yes, and yes. God this is bad. "Chicks in the club. Honey, what's up"? They wrote this in 7 minutes.

KenWheaton (#401)

Justifiable homicide

Matt Rudolph (#5,612)

It hurts and feels good at the same time. This is what Black Spud Pees do to me. It's gotta be a government thing.

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