Thursday, October 28th, 2010

Blueprint Cleanse Juice Tastes Like Acne, Humiliation, Clumsy Early Sexual Experience

"The six juices, numbered and meant to be drunk in a particular order, looked so tasty. What’s not to like about spicy lemonade, or pineapple with mint? Cashew milk flavored with vanilla and cinnamon was a little cloying, but… I mean, c’mon, cashews, the George Clooney of nuts. When it came to the green juice, I read the label and tried hard to concentrate on the 'lemon' and 'apple' parts of the equation: romaine, celery, cucumber, green apple, spinach, kale, parsley, lemon. Bright side: no beets. Here’s the thing. That green juice? It was like drinking everything bad that ever happened to me in high school."
The Times' Judith Newman tries out the popular Blueprint Cleanse Diet.

11 Comments / Post A Comment

jolie (#16)

There was so, so, so much wrong with that article. She obviously couldn't decide if she loved the cleanse or hated it, but instead of saying that she decided to go with a thesis of "I hate this" and end with "best thing evaaaar!!"

I didn't mind the cutesy way she described her "research" but I also felt like if she was going to do a cleanse and write about it for the Times she should have done the colonics too, as they're part of the experience.

And lastly, that feeling of euphoria at the end of the cleanse? Oh honey. It's called an 'anorexic high'.

hockeymom (#143)

The women I know who do cleanses have too much time and too much money on their hands.
I mean, have you ever met someone who is poor…or even vaguely middle class…talking about cleanses?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

So, no one's going to touch "the George Clooney of nuts?"

saythatscool (#101)

Standing ovation.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Would that make almonds the David Caruso of nuts?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Please never put "David Caruso" and "nuts" in the same sentence again. Thank you.

Sometimes I think the Styles section is a secret plot to make people (of both genders!) OK with their misogynistic tendencies, because it\'s just SO STUPID SO OFTEN.
Oh, what am I saying. \"Sometimes\"? Hahahaha.

Neopythia (#353)

The fridge here at the office is filled with those bottles. It's like some dystopian future or a Terry Pratchett novel.

KarenUhOh (#19)

We of A Certain Age have been doing this, unfashionably Old School, for several years. It's called a colonoscopy prep.

So the Times has decided to wade through Julia Allison's posts from two years ago to find material for an article. Weak Sauce.

katiechasm (#163)

I like how she sticks to the cleanse after learning there's no science behind it and it's horrible for your body. That's… a result of the hallucination?

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