Monday, October 25th, 2010
24

America's Top Ten Least Pageview-Garnering Cities

Using a complicated algorithm which takes into account hugely-popular Internet lists like the 10 Worst Places to Live in America and America's Smartest (and Dumbest) Cities and American Cities Ranked by Size of Men's Schlongs, we can determine: which are America's very least interesting, most inoffensive, most averagely endowed, least pageview-garnering cities?

They are, in no particular order:

Indianapolis.

Charlotte.

Oxnard.

Seattle.

Port St. Lucie.

Milwaukee.

Louisville.

Raleigh.

Rancho Cucamonga.

Fort Collins.

This is science. You literally cannot argue with this. These cities defy Internet interest.

24 Comments / Post A Comment

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Please phrase your answer in slideshow form.

Click Here For The Top 10 Slideshow Formats!

keisertroll (#1,117)

Everyone knows Ontario is the slutty Inland Empire city.

BadUncle (#153)

Take that, Upland.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Yeah but everyone who wants to know anything about 'Milwaukee' probably enters 'Beer' in the search field.

keisertroll (#1,117)

In my early childhood I had an unhealthy obsession with Wisconsin. Even had my mother send out for the tourism guides.

For years I thought Mecca was where the Milwaukee Bucks played.

iantenna (#5,160)

"what's kept milwaukee from falling completely off the map, has made a loser out of me."

Rodger Psczny (#3,912)

No City of Industry?

Norco shifts uneasily in its seat, as if stifling a murmur.

It's tough growing up in the shadow of Mt. Baldy.

melis (#1,854)

Yeah, but Mrs. Unruh up at the Buckhorn Lodge is always there for you, you know?

KarenUhOh (#19)

Palmdale, Minot and Salina all would be insulted if anyone there owned a computer.

I've been to Minot. This month! I showed up using the French pronunciation. They made good-hearted fun.

I quite like Salina!!!

KarenUhOh (#19)

They are, one and all, wonderful places. The Field and Stream Supper Club, Minot, is a treat indeed, with its trout stream flowing through the dining room. And the vast coulees spreading out to the north and west.

In Salina, on the banks of the Smoky Hill, I witnessed perhaps the most intense and beautiful lightning storm of my life.

And in Palmdale, I felt the earth move.

I was there for a coulee: the Souris (mouse) River.

deepomega (#1,720)

Oxnard is important because it has the closest Target to Santa Barbara. (I've been told.)

Multiphasic (#411)

Ventura, actually. For when one wants something a little upscale of the Retarded Children's Thrift Store.

Between you and the Hairpin, you had two posts about Seattle on Friday alone! I mean, we all know its the colder, rainier San Francisco, but to lump it in with Raleigh and MILWAUKEE is entirely unfair. I'm through with you, science!

Seattle, while totally milquetoast—well it has its charms.

Multiphasic (#411)

Is this a very subtle hint that Hayward is not actually the most least interesting place ever?

PBandJ (#8,085)

I think Columbus is at least as blank-stare worthy as Milwaukee, Louisville and Indianapolis.

Tully Mills (#6,486)

I don\'t even go to Fort Collins in real life and it\'s only an hour away. This post actually reminded me that it\'s there!

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