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A Compendium Of Masturbating Animals
"Elephants have been known to rub up against rocks for pleasure. However, to collect semen from captive elephants for artificial insemination, zookeepers must manually stimulate a bull's rectum to massage its prostate (yep, that means some poor zoo worker has to don a glove and reach up there). Fun fact: Elephant penises are curved like an S, and can reach 3-5 feet (1 to 1.5 meters) in length with a 6-inch (16-centimeters) girth. Meanwhile, elephant clitorises can reach more than a foot long (40 cm)!"
—Don't deny it, you want to see a slideshow on why animals masturbate and you want to see it now. Thanks, Livescience!
I had a cat once who used to blow himself for hours on end. I mean it was constant. He was always, always blowing himself. My poor parents had a hard time explaining to me what kitty was doing "down there."
In their defense Richard, you were 18.
Also, thank you Balk. This is better than xmas.
There are Japanese websites dedicated to that sort of thing, or so I hear.
Balk, when are we taking that field trip to the stud farm?
OMG, baby porcupine holding a wild flower at the article link!
To Awl Ombudscat: I was expecting a slideshow showing [edit: adult] animals masturbating.
Totally agree. This is a blatant case of 'bate and switch.
I've got two friends in vet school and let me tell you: I am learning some uncomfortable truths about animal cum.
Share with the group!
Did you know….
That goat dicks are evolutionarily crafted to be like firehoses, whipping around and spraying goat sperm everywhere?
for some reason, that brings up bad memories:
http://www.feelingretro.com/toys/Misc-Toys/water-wiennie.php
Not to elephantsnark, but that length-to-girth ratio is the stuff of nightmares.
No dickshaming.
- Hey man, how was your weekend?
- Boring. I basically just stood by that rock over there ate leaves and masturbated.
- Seriously?
- Two days. Nothing but leaves and rubbing against rocks. I'm beat. You?
- Eh, not much better. I sprayed water on a bunch of kids on Saturday and made them cry. On Sunday I tried to eat a can. One of the green shirt people came in and stuck his hand up my ass. That was interesting.
The researchers observed 105 squirrel masturbation sessions in total.
Squirrels have twitter feeds?
Logging into Squirrel Chatroulette right now… come on into the living room and have a seat. Here's an extra pair of binoculars.
Cheers, Clarence! You just made me LOL.
"…there's no doubt that humans are not alone in their self-pleasure from time to time."
Um, ew?
A buddy from college ended up paying for graduate school by working as a cattle inseminator in Texas. He told me he had to extract the genetic material manually, later inserting it into cows while wearing a shoulder length glove. He also lived in a teepee with geese.
I'm still scarred from 4th form sex ed when our teacher regaled us with tales of his infant daughter's masturbation techniques. I don't know if I'm ready for this.
What, no width on the clit? I feel incomplete not knowing that.
So elephants are into fisting? Who knew.
Maybe I'll forward my new boyfriend this article so he won't think it's so weird.
Keiko the orca used to entertain the crowds at the Oregon Coast Aquarium by humping* an (appropriately) blue ball.
* I was about to type "dry humping" before realizing it doesn't really work here, does it? Oh, and you'll have to make your own "Free Willy" joke, I can't quite bring myself to.
@HG:
"I have had it up to HERE with you!.."