Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

The Way We Date Other Eaters Of Salad Now

Now this is happening: "If you are looking for a 'salad soulmate,' all you have to do is create a free profile on and your "best' mate will be selected based on 'which Just Salad location you frequent, when you frequent it, and what ingredients you love in your salad.' Similar to other online dating sites (eHarmony,,, boasts a 'state-of-the-art matching algorithm" and guarantees your will have lunch or dinner tastes in common.'"

21 Comments / Post A Comment

saythatscool (#101)

I'm looking for a girl who can swallow a lot of cucumber.

Preferably whole.

Moff (#28)

Yeah, I just headline my ads "Looking for great salad tosser."

saythatscool (#101)

And preferably one who wants her Ranch dressing served on the side.

Of her face.

Moff (#28)

Or her raspberry vinaigrette!

Don't ask; I'm seeing a doctor about it.

p is for pee (#900)

Does this site exclude matches between two people who both like to eat cucumber?

deepomega (#1,720)

"State of the art matching algorithm" = just sorting by type of green they prefer and be done with it. Ain't no way an arrugula-eater will date an iceberg-lover.

garge (#736)

I am going to stand up for iceberg, right here and now. Wait, men, where are you all going? Men?! Come baaack!

mathnet (#27)

CRUNCH! A salad needs CRUNCH.

HiredGoons (#603)

@garge: you don't need them. C'mon, let's go the Dairy Queen and bitch.

Derby on me.

deepomega (#1,720)

@mathnet – That's what the romaine hearts are for! Maybe some red onions! Don't be beholden to the watery flavorless icecrunch!

garge (#736)

@HG: Are you sure you're from Vermont? Because you know EXACTLY how to make a Midwestern girl feel better. I'll grab the water cups to fill with vodka!

Matt (#26)


mathnet (#27)

Setting aside everything else that is dumb, why would I want to date someone whose weird salad preferences were the same as mine? Then I'd have to ask the waiter out loud to hold the tomatoes, like a child. Give me a man who hates red onions.

HiredGoons (#603)

Empire Lettuce State of Mind.

garge (#736)

If they could just take this dating platform a step further and combine it with Lemonade Stand, I'd be very interested .. especially if you could bet real money.

City_Dater (#2,500)

Like being on a date with someone who keeps grabbing stuff off your plate isn't already annoying enough…

You know who else liked salad?

cherrispryte (#444)

While I love me a good salad, salad's a deeply unsexy food. Right?

melis (#1,854)

Food in general is not sexy! Not sure why this particular trope persists. Food and sex are sensual in two totally unrelated ways!

KarenUhOh (#19)

Fucking young people. How'd you like to be stuck with Sock Match?

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