Thursday, September 16th, 2010
49

NFL Gives Viewers Good Reason For Super Bowl Halftime Bathroom Break

Good news: The NFL has reportedly decided to book a relatively current musical act for its halftime show for the first time since the Super Bowl XXXVIII Nipple Flash! Bad news: That act is apparently the exactingly safe hip-pop collective the Black Eyed Peas. Mitigating factor: Maybe this means we won't see will.i.am during every other commercial break? [Via]

49 Comments / Post A Comment

HiredGoons (#603)

do not want.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

"do not want" doesn't quite do it justice. "Kill it with fire" is closer, but still not quite there.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

how about: INCINEROVAPORATE WITH MUSHROOM CLOUD.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Yes. DETH.

Mister_Neutron (#5,921)

God, I really *liked* them at first, until they GOT IT STARTED!!! every time I turned the game on, and now they're just embarrassing.

So I guess I'm saying, my bad for buying their earlier albums. Sorry, everyone!

semiserious (#2,430)

Considering their entire oeuvre over the last few years has been attempt after attempt to write the new American jock jam classic I guess this is apropos. Besides the fact it may send Will.I.Am's undeserved ego into uncharted levels, I don't see the harm. Who watches the half-time shows anyway? Isn't the puppy bowl on?

semiserious (#2,430)

Also, technically this will be the first time an NFL owner performs at halftime.

KenWheaton (#401)

Can we just bring back Up With People. At least they have a little street cred.

Next year, maybe it'll be Justin Bieber.

Mister_Neutron (#5,921)

Does this mean the window has closed on a Beach Boys halftime reunion?

spanish bombs (#562)

The Black Eyed Peas are currently relevant?

Besides, fuck everybody; Prince was awesome.

You obviously haven't seen the charts lately.

And yes, Prince was great. But the NFL was starting to run out of nostalgia acts to mine, and some observers wondered if they'd have to go into reruns. (Fox, of course, would have no problem bringing Aerosmith back, although Joe Perry might.)

Natzzzzzz (#7,318)

Makes for a semi-interesting point of discussion. Which current musical act would you all like to see do the halftime show? Is there anybody?

That's why they always end up going back the the 20th century.

Hey the Swans just got back together.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

the Swans Songs.

Mister_Neutron (#5,921)

OK, gun to my head, and I have to come up with a band meeting the following criteria:
1) Mainstream hit song within the last year or two, and…
2) Old-school enough in style that the boomers who don't own an album released after "Born in the USA" might have some chance of enjoying the music, but…
3) Respectable enough to new-music mavens like Maura that they don't all get whiplash from their eyes rolling back.

How about Kings of Leon? [ducks behind shield]

Kings of Leon would totally work (they have a new record coming out next month, too).
Or the Foo Fighters — as covered by Prince, you will recall.
U2, even?

I actually thought since the Super Bowl was on Fox, and since "American Idol" is in complete tailspin/reboot mode this year and it starts in the winter, Fox would go the synergy route. A Daughtry/Kelly Clarkson/Carrie Underwood/Lee DeWyze (bleh) medley with Steven "New Judge" Tyler as the cherry would satisfy a lot of demographic needs, and serve as a reminder that the show can still create stars (Lee excepted, obv).

(It should also be noted that American Idol's audience is a lot bigger than that of the Black Eyed Peas. Ahem.)

Mister_Neutron (#5,921)

Hey, I actually made a decent (Maura-approved) suggestion!

I guess the real question is, who is the halftime show FOR? The people in the stands? "Real" football fans? The audience for the host network's other hit shows? The audience(s) targeted by the advertisers? Not sure how much any of these categories overlap. And it does seem like the halftime entertainment committee is happy if they satisfy either one of my first two criteria; #3 doesn't seem relevant to them at all.

Yeah, U2 really is the perfect band for this event — hits stretching back to the early '80's, yet I suspect even the "Twilight" crowd knows who they are. (I'll consult my 11-year old niece and get back to you.) And I'd also like to add another vote in favor of the FAMU/Southern marching band tradition, and the total kickassness of the Prince show.

sigerson (#179)

GREEN DAY. Obviously the best choice.

Good lord, can you imagine a Lady Gaga halftime performance? That would have been a gutsy call by the NFL and Fox.

dhmbib (#4,305)

predicted set list (no particular order):

"Let's Get It Started"
"Boom Boom Pow"
"I Gotta Feeling"
(whatever new single they'll have by then)

KenWheaton (#401)

What would be relevant to NFL fans? Jock-rock (as someone stated above); real rock; country; real hip-hop or rap.

What would be relevant to the rich folks at the game? High-priced strippers.

What they should do is have a series of high-school or college marching bands take the field. That way folks at home can catch a break from watching football AND commercials. And the folks in the stadium can just pretend they're there for an actual football game. Jerks.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Fuck that. Bring in a HBCU band. I'd watch.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Wait, so those who are snobbish enough about music respect the venue that is the NFL halftime show enough to be disappointed when Goodall doesn't book Of Montreal? And if they DID book Pains Of Being Pure AT Heart it would all be complaints about how the NFL audience doesn't deserve Pains of Being Pure At Heart. Christ. For the record, I'm with Wheaton on the marching bands.

Matt (#26)

OMG OF MONTREAL AT THE HALFTIME SHOW WOULD BE AMAZING. THERE WOULD BE NO WARDROBE MALFUNCTION EITHER BECAUSE KEVIN WOULD JUST TAKE THE STAGE NAKED. ON A HORSE.

Abe Sauer (#148)

In fact, the super bowl halftime show DID used to have marching bands up until the 90s when non-football fans (and even people who openly hated football) started watching the super bowl as an "Event." Then the networks started pressuring the NFL to have wider audience acts to attract even more viewers to sell eve more ads. And that's how we got the 1991 New Kids on the Block halftime show.

The only people who hate the current slew of shitty halftime shows more than culture snobs are actual football fans.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

we have an extremely racially-charged, mothballed mascot from the local team that could be dusted off and relieved of some clothing, if Kevin's not available.

Oh Abe. Your staunch contrarianism is so adorable! Too bad it's also completely ignorant of the musical tastes of the person making the anti-Peas argument. Surely anyone could back me up on this: I would be OK with pretty much any pop act of now (including the reunited New Kids*, as long as they incorporated their Ne-Yo collab into their set) taking the Super Bowl halftime stage. That the first foray into non-nostalgia-based music in the wake of that long-ago wardrobe malfunction debacle involves the utterly safe Peas — who are pretty much a half step up from Up With People as far as their willingness to go the extra mile in overall blandness of message, yet who thanks to the evil genius of will.i.am are able pair that lack of oomph with music that manages to be simultaneously annoying and earwormy — is what's risible. Not that the act doesn't meet some sort of 26-year-old Brookynite's laughable standard of "cool." Keep up!

* talk about culture snobbery! why do you hate teen girl real America?

6h057 (#1,914)

I support this war of flames…

Mr. Abe! Tear down this gall!

KenWheaton (#401)

I saw we let Grambling and Southern marching bands loose on the field at the same time. Marching band gladiator contest. Now THAT's fitting for the Super Bowl.

And I am also pro-marching band! Too bad it's not on NBC this year; Nick Cannon could have led a Drumline-inspired extravaganza.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Ha! Who's being contrarian? Super bowl halftimes shows have sucked since the 1990s. The only thing more lame than super bowl halftime shows is complaining about superbowl halftime shows.

And the fact that this is the "first" foray from safety is a position from which to argue wholly concocted by yourself. In 2007 Price took the stage. PRINCE! Unless you are suggesting that the black eyes peas are, or have ever been, more unpredictable and sexually charged than Prince???

And again, why is it "risible" to you? Do you expect more of a halftime show meant to appeal to 100 million people while at the same time offending zero people? Do you get upset when Michael Bay goes all deus ex machina?

"the first foray into non-nostalgia-based music." Read closely, dear.

And I didn't complain about Prince. Or Springsteen. Or Petty. Or McCartney ("Freedom" aside, because that song is terrible). In your neverending quest to be MISTER OMG DEFENDING REAL AMERICA you have to erect a Straw Maura in order to make your point!

And it's risible because, shit, it's the NFL. They could get anyone. They could at least try and hit up an excessively popular group that hasn't whored itself out to every other league in the country (including the NFL itself) first!

Abe Sauer (#148)

"That the first foray into non-nostalgia-based music in the wake of that long-ago wardrobe malfunction debacle involves the utterly safe Peas"

Yeah, fine, I didn't repeat the whole line. I assumed that was obvious.

As for who the NFL could get, again, what exactly do you think the NFL is? The goal is to appeal to as many people (globally, remember) without offending anyone? Who does that better than the BEP? Not many. That is precisely WHY every other league in the country wants them to whore themselves out.

And this has nothing to do with "real america" or whatever. You took a lazy potshot at NFL halftime shows and the black eyes peas because you had a scoop on a news item and, hell, what bloggers do with posts about news items is make snarky jokes, right? So you didn't spend more than three minutes thinking about the set up. That;s what blogging is all about. In fact, it's the blogging equivalent of NFL halftime shows. Just own it.

Actually you're wrong, but I think your wrongness is the result of you not spending more than three minutes to figure out a way to get all offended and salty. So!

Abe Sauer (#148)

Ok. I'll bite; how am I wrong?

spanish bombs (#562)

Drake!!! Everybody loves Drizzy. That is who they should get.

spanish bombs (#562)

And straight up: Pains of Being Pure at Heart have ONE note-worthy song, which does not come close to touching a middling song by My Bloody Valentine. Of Montreal just plain bite. I don't think anyone is under the illusion that either of these bands have what it takes to break big.

Maybe The White Stripes or Arcade Fire would be a better fit for these theoretical snobs.

sigerson (#179)

@Maura & @Abe, get a room, you two. Geeez…

6h057 (#1,914)

Good ol's NFL, doing everything possible to pair the most entertaining product with the most unbearable product.

hman (#53)

What does any of this have to do with Pavement?

Art Yucko (#1,321)

pffah. Pavement's for Tailgate parties, bro.

KenWheaton (#401)

NICKELBAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

(With special guest appearance by Tiger Woods)

Elle (#7,022)

Confession with which I see nothing wrong: when Springsteen slid crotch-first into a stage-side camera, I got a little bit of a lady-boner. And I'm nowhere even near middle-aged.

sigerson (#179)

(vomits)

sigerson (#179)

My all-time favorite has to be Carol Channing and her tribute to Mardi Gras at Super Bowl IV in 1970.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Super_Bowl_halftime_shows

sigerson (#179)

Seriously though, the NFL half-time show was a completely irrelevant non-event up until 1993 when Michael Jackson did "Heal the World." At that point the show's ratings exceeded the game's ratings and the NFL realized that they could sell commercials during half-time for top $$$.

sigerson (#179)

"The [Rolling Stones] show was viewed by 89.9 million people, more than the audiences for the Oscars, Grammys and Emmy Awards combined"

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