Google today announced “Google Instant Search,” a new feature which allows users to do, I dunno, something? It’s faster? Or it predicts what you’re going to type? Maybe it reaches through the screen and gently caresses the back of your hand while saying, “There, there, everything’s going to be fine. Shhh, it’s okay,” in quiet, soothing tones, because I could really use that right now. I have no idea! Google lost me around Wave (remember that?) and ever since then I’ve just been in a fog of confusion and indifference. I can make cellphone calls from my Gmail inbox? Okay! There’s a new priority system that tells me what mail I need to read before I’ve opened it? Sure! Whatever you say, Google! When we are all toiling in the mines as part of the Google Serf program I’m sure we will still appreciate these few years of technological innovations. If only I understood what the hell they were.