Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Fidel Castro: The Reality Show

You guys are reading Jeffrey Goldberg's reports from his recent visit with Fidel Castro, right? I mean:

"Goldberg," Fidel said, "ask him questions about dolphins."

"What kind of questions?" I asked.

"You're a journalist, ask good questions," he said, and then interrupted himself. "He doesn't know much about dolphins anyway," he said, pointing to Garcia. He's actually a nuclear physicist."

"You are?" I asked.

"Yes," Garcia said, somewhat apologetically.

"Why are you running the aquarium?" I asked.

"We put him here to keep him from building nuclear bombs!" Fidel said, and then cracked-up laughing.

17 Comments / Post A Comment

MikeBarthel (#1,884)

I get the feeling this is going to end with Fidel taking all his clothes off and driving through Havana on a Rascal.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

"You're Che's daughter?" I asked.

Well shatter me ketchup.

hockeymom (#143)

AND she works at the aquarium, too!

Rod T (#33)

If it weren't for Fidel sending my first boyfriend over on the Mariel boatlift, I might be, well, different today at least. So, thanks, Fidel, for that, I guess.

kneetoe (#1,881)

"Actually, late one night, at a bar, he made a "castro/castrate" joke, and word got back to me, so I decided he should sleep with the fishes (not that dolphin are fish, mind you)."

Annie K. (#3,563)

Well, if I wasn't reading it before, I sure am now.

deepomega (#1,720)

The awesome efficiency and effectiveness of a centrally planned economy at work. For their next trick, watch as Chavez turns a television network executive into a bus driver!

Zack (#2,609)

"for the record, he ingested small amounts of fish and salad, and quite a bit of bread dipped in olive oil, as well as a glass of red wine"

Also for the record: what does it mean that I had the exact same dinner as Fidel Castro last night?

petejayhawk (#1,249)

He's no angel, but why the fuck are we still choking out their economy? We as a nation do business with just about every horrible despot on the planet, but somehow Cuba – with its high literacy rate and good-considering-the-circumstances medical system – is off limits and must die?

Fucking bullshit. I hate this place sometimes.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

*"this place" = country, not website.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

> but why the f

See: Florida, role in national elections

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Yeah, I know. :(

petejayhawk (#1,249)

But shouldn't all those first-generation Cuban emigrants (a fair number of whom were corrupt profiteers under the Batista regime, rather than the peaceful and freedom-loving Cubanos they claim to be) be about dead by now? Those bitter old fucks need to go away.

kneetoe (#1,881)

Yes, and I predict that, should Obama receive a second term, that is when this will change.

cherrispryte (#444)

I think you gotta wait til everyone who remembers watching the Cuban Missile Crisis unfold live on their teevees has either retired, stopped voting, gotten Alzheimer's or died before we'll lift the sanctions there.
Castro dying would maybe also do it, but unfortunately, he is immortal.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

> shouldn't all

Memories is long.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Caption: "Fidel is the guy who looks like Fidel if Fidel shopped at L.L. Bean". Perfect.

Post a Comment