Boeing To Offer Commercial Space Flight In Five Years!
Buckle up, space nerds, and cue up the "Star Trek" theme song in your iPod. (Since that's currently leading NASA's contest to pick music for astronauts to listen to on the space shuttle's next flight. Much cooler, though: space stoners have pushed Steppenwolf into second place.) Because, amazingly, some of you will be able to buy a ticket for a flight into low-earth orbit as soon as 2015. That's very soon! (Although not as soon as the predicted discovery of Earth 2.)
As Reuters reports, the Boeing Company, in conjunction with Virginia-based Space Adventures will market passenger seats aboard the CST-100 space vehicle Boeing is developing for NASA.
The spacecraft could carry seven people and fly in low-Earth orbit as soon as 2015, Boeing said. The company added that potential customers could include private individuals, companies, nongovernmental organizations and U.S. federal agencies. Space Adventures said it had arranged for seven spaceflight participants to fly on eight missions to the International Space Station being built in space by the United States and Russia.
Ticket prices have not yet been set. I hope they're less than the $35 million the Cirque du Soleil guy paid last year to blast up there out of Kazakhstan. I also hope they'll serve honey roasted peanuts and tomato juice (which, for some reason, always tastes better in the air).
My choice in the NASA contest, "Rocket Man," is way down the list, carrying just 0.2% of votes. But now that I'll to be able to program my own tunes, from my own collection (iPods would be allowed on board, right? Why not?) I think I'd start off with Monster Magnet. Go stoners!
Monster Magnet Week on the Awl!!
Fuck yeah!
Wyndorf went to my high school. I didn't know him. He was a few years older. But I interviewed him once, and so got to tell him how proud he'd made me.
I don't want to go to the moon, Dave. I've got everything I need right here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXY3o6UvjWc
The Steppenwolf is because of Star Trek nerds, too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1djkR-8xOU
Wow. Totally! I didn't know. Thanks.
"Ground control to Major Tom . . . '
(Curse you, Dave Bry, for mentioning Rocket Man and putting every one of that evil genius' songs in my head at the same time!)
Steppenwolf? Star Trek? Did everybody on this planet take a dip in Lame Pond?
How about selections from the Heavy Metal soundtrack in the following order:
1. Takin' a Ride (On Heavy Metal) – Don Felder
2. Radar Rider – Riggs
3. Reach Out – Cheap Trick
4. All of You – Don Felder
5. Through Being Cool – Devo
6. E5-150 – Black Sabbath
and 7. immediately, once in orbit, one should immediately fast forward to Veteran of the Psychic Wars – Blue Öyster Cult.
You are permitted to listen to the rest of the album on the way back down, but why bother? My advice is to just listen to the above in reverse order.
If you do happen to require filler between tracks 6 and 7, I suggest tossing in some Sammy Hagar because you are clearly at this moment incapable of driving 55.
Alternatively you could put on classical music. Some Dvorak if you are a huge lame-o. The asshole that has Strauss on his iPod should be jettisoned immediately. He or she is asking for it anyways.
Realistically, if you have already agreed to the Heavy Metal soundtrack, (and thus I deem you to be very wise indeed) then it's time to drink some White Russians…with your ears! Mussorgz or Rimsky-Korsakov would be personal choices, but c'mon. Rach or Strav are fine too. You're in fucking space!
Anyways I guess what I'm trying to say is if I were in space and Steppenwolf came on because the unimaginative inhabitants of the nearest planet voted for it, I would blow everyone up with a nuclear rocket because in my dream my spaceship is equipped with nuclear rockets, specifically for that purpose. Self-fulfilling Prophecy? Self-fulfilling prophecy.
I would be a benevolent alien space traveler, and save my death ray's charges for people listening to the Crew Space Transport Vehicle Soundtrack. I would be like Klaatu, but for MIDI slap bass instead of war.
Mmmmm, that soundtrack has just the right combination of MIDI slap Bass to MIDI jazz guitar 2. I mean…it must've taken awhile to get that ratio just right.