Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

You Deserve A Secret Drink Today

You know you want itAugust, you have brought this on yourself: In accordance with all local and federal statutes governing the declaration of holidays by self-important Internet "personalities," I, Alex Balk, hereby designate today, August 25th, as National Duck Out For A Drink Day. To recognize this special occasion, you need only to slip away from work for a quick shot at a nearby bar. (If you have time to down a beer as well then by all means do so, but it is not a requirement.) It's fifteen minutes out of your life that will almost certainly be the best part of your day and, to top it off, you're getting paid for it! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. So go ahead, employed people, and duck out for that drink now. You have nothing to lose but your jobs. (Bring mints just in case.)


51 Comments / Post A Comment

doubled277 (#2,783)

Oh, this is a holiday now? Sounds more like my normal day

HiredGoons (#603)


The Alex Balk I know and love would have said 'menthols.'

I just died a little inside.

dado (#102)

A drink, as in one? As if that's possible.

mathnet (#27)

I learned it from watching Mad Men.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Why a duck?

garge (#736)

If you run out of mints and big league chew, two words: vod ka.

Bittersweet (#765)

This is yet another reason working from home is so great. No breathalyzers on video chat!

garge (#736)

Please let me know if any positions open up within your company.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

was just discussing, with my supervisor and IT coworker, the legendary methods of some of our more notorious predecessors.
to wit:
-always orange juice, but never once the wiff of vod ka. where vod at, yo?! MASTER of disguise.
-the old Coors empties in the ceiling tiles trick. Press ceiling tile, receive rainfall of Coors empties.
-the "stepping out to my car" trick. Sit in your car in the parking lot, freshen up your lipstick, -quick swizz nobodysawme.-

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

I'm in my two-week lame duck period. I have NOTHING TO LOSE.

I'm going to observe today as Secretly Eat Ice Cream For Lunch day.

Yes there will be mix-ins.

mathnet (#27)

JUST NO PEANUTS that's gross

HiredGoons (#603)



Art Yucko (#1,321)

the Bodega finds itself suddenly picked clean of Haagen Dazs minis, M&M's and airplane bottles.

Rollo (#3,202)

Hm. Spanish peanuts in chocolate ice cream is delicious.

But thanks for not saying "JUST DON'T PAIR WITH PEANUTS."

mrschem (#1,757)

Buster Bar!

Screen Name (#2,416)

Hi, if you're like me and don't exactly have a job, try this: I met some guy named Allan Miller at Molly's Shebeen a few minutes ago. He made the mistake of giving me his card so I'm right now sitting at his desk writing this while he's back at Molly's having a drink.

"Can I help you?" some jackass sitting in the cubicle next to me asked.

"Oh no, I'm from downstairs. I'll be done in a minute." Haha.

Judging from his email, hard to tell what he does here — maybe something IT-related? I've been doing my best to answer all of this stuff coming in. Dude gets crazy amounts of email! Todd Birenberg wants to know when the new admin features are going live. I told him, "Sorry Todd, We'll have to circle back to that offline once the Benzinger mapping crucible gets implemented. Have Kelly reserve the conference room for next Tuesday. Order doughnuts!" Kamal asked if I could fix a bug causing the syndication streams to cut off the last part of all our url's. "Sure!" I replied. Then I sent him a Yo Gabba Gabba YouTube video with "[IT] – Resolved (BUG-235) syndication issue" as the subject line.

Ok, that's my 15 minutes of secret work today. Back to Molly's.

egad (#1,355)

He zigs, you zag.

deepomega (#1,720)

Why sneak out when my boss has a copious liquor cabinet and will gladly share?

Art Yucko (#1,321)

f u nny, c abinet as k for y o u?

mrschem (#1,757)

is this also disemvoweling day?

Art Yucko (#1,321)

@deep: FINALLY. don't be a lurquito!

deepomega (#1,720)

@Art: The effort involved in lurking finally exceeded my moral opposition to Tumblsing.

iantenna (#5,160)

my standard lunch is two tacos (one al pastor, one carne asada) and two bohemias, but i'll try to fit in a bourbon on the rocks, if only for the sake of the holiday.

Smitros (#5,315)

That's the spirit. The great ones make the extra effort.

I'm hard at work on the greeting card for this.

At a bar.

HiredGoons (#603)

"There Will Be Stained Card Stock"

C_Webb (#855)

Just finished a wreath made of Maker's bottles, bar napkins, and my bra. TA-DAH!

Art Yucko (#1,321)

@Clarence: if I were management across the street at Hallmark, I'd hire you in a Jack Danosecond.

@Art Whiskey Milkshake?

They are Cathy-themed, naturally.


Art Yucko (#1,321)

*Cathy = that would be copyright Andrews McMeel Universal, which, also Kansas City. = HIRED EVEN HARDER.

C_Webb (#855)

It's the last day of my summer and I'm feeling ornery, so I'm going to drink out for ducks instead.

Patrick M (#404)

Did I just get iced?

Aatom (#74)

…and we shall call it "Wednesday." I think I'll start celebrating every week.

jolie (#16)

But where is the "JOLIE KERR IS MY MUSE" tag????

Art Yucko (#1,321)

bourbon…… balls….. bj's….. are we missing something?!

C_Webb (#855)

On my fridge?

HiredGoons (#603)

#Silent Tags

Joe O'Neil (#7,102)

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Are you used to disappointment?

roboloki (#1,724)

continue drinking until you get one. you will need more ice.

Robo, gonna need a bigger glass…

garge (#736)

Whatever. I have saved all of the originals, and its scarcity will only increase their value.

riotnrrd (#840)

Back at my old company, we called these "off-site visits," and they usually ended up lasting until about 10pm. Never work with functionally-alcoholic Brits. Wait, I meant to say "always."

Pandemic Endemic (#3,825)

My work also has "off site visits." People heading out on this important business will say, "I'll be back in ten minutes!" Those ten minutes always turn into an hour. Then they come back to the office and look at the clocks all funny until they remember that we have no shame there.

NinetyNine (#98)

Puffy's, which was a great bar once, had one of those stand up boards (pre-printed, not chalk), offering a $2 bud specials for union members. From noon-4. Always look for the union label (speaking of, watching Season 2 again. Has anyone ever done the raw egg in a beer for breakfast? How is it?).

So, is season 2 any better the second time? I liked it, but… it was almost work to get through. Dulled my enthusiasm for season 3 (which I'm currently in the middle of–I'm slow).

melis (#1,854)

Today my office went to the Giants-Reds game that is still going on. My drinks were less secret than company-funded, but I snuck out early because baseball is boring. Does that count?

Cornelius Aesop (#7,220)

I wish I new about this, can I put in a request to be a part of next years?

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