Turtle Crosses Street
We have most definitely entered the rough patch of summer that is August. News is slow. People are more irritated, more ground down and quick to anger, but also more indolent because of the heat. The streets are filled with the dead-eyed zombies who, unable to get away somewhere nice, are stuck repeating their daily routines under an oppressive sun, shuffling their way to work and trying to ignore the persistent rivulets of sweat emanating from a variety of bodily crevasses. It is, in short, a time when almost anything goes, especially if you're in the business of attempting to amuse, inform or entertain. That said, I'd like to think that, even if we were in the thick of a season where creativity flowed like cheap beer at a frat party, I would still share this story about a giant turtle's attempt to cross Boston's Storrow Drive, because it is a tale of triumph and tenacity, and some days you need to be reminded that we all have those qualities in us, even turtles. Also, I have always thought "Storrow Drive" would be a good name for a band. Anyway, enjoy!
"But two SUVs straddled the turtle with their tires." Of course they did! Every thriller needs a cartoon villain.
Hey, what happened to the newsletter?
EL OH EL OH EL OH EL at the Statie who was scared of the turtle.
Staties: whimpier than Animal Control.
This is something out of one of those 'Frogger' knock-offs that clogged the market around '83.
Hmm. How come the turtle ads aren't showing up this time? Those turtle ads last time were quite fun! (WANT A TURTLE PET SO BAD!)
You can come play with mine, assuming this one survives the autumn.
You and Steinbeck both, Balk.
There is also this video of two turtles humping, while the one on top is goin "Wow.. wow.. wow" over and over.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ0sDES7Dpc&feature=player_embedded
Happy Friday!
Socialist turtle needs help from the nanny state to cross the street.
I had a roomate who inherited a fairly large turtle from a failed marriage (she got the car). My advice: Make sure your turtle stays small.
He was clearly trying to get back to his homeland across the Charles.
I recently stopped my car to escort a very handsome box turtle across a very busy rural highway. Aren't I wonderful!
They need to build a turtle fence!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qizNQKzatXA
Yes. This. Thank you.
"The streets are filled with the dead-eyed zombies who, unable to get away somewhere nice, are stuck repeating their daily routines under an oppressive sun, shuffling their way to work and trying to ignore the persistent rivulets of sweat emanating from a variety of bodily crevasses. It is, in short, a time when almost anything goes, especially if you're in the business of attempting to amuse, inform or entertain."
But enough about Hollywood, Alex Balk.
Also: one more reason to hate SUVs.
I predict "There was a turtle on the highway" will replace the standard "My alarm didn't go off" late-to-work excuse.
http://www.bertc.com/subfive/recipes/turtle.htm