Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

Politicians Only Hate Gays at Work, Otherwise They Love Them Some Gays

FOLEY AND CHARLES 'CHUCKIE' CRISTThe great news about being gay is that no one really hates you in D.C. It's just politics: "When I speak to a gay Capitol Hill staffer whose own boss has a terrible record on gay rights, he explains that part of what enables him to maintain a clear conscience is the idea that the man for whom he works is merely playing to the base. As he says, 'I've been out to my boss for years and he's never cared. He said, I'm glad you told me, it's never going to be an issue, let's get back to work and do good things for my district.'" Oh that's so much better. Also! "Some of it is just political jousting, it's about vote-getting and stirring the pot and playing to the base. It's what they feel they must do to survive politically," says Mark Foley. Hmm. It was 2003, was it? That this happened: "Republican Congressman Mark Foley of Florida thinks it's 'revolting and unforgivable' that people are openly speculating that he is gay." Finally, I just wanted to say "playing to the base, playing to the base" a few times because it's mildly amusing.

38 Comments / Post A Comment

Moff (#28)

"It's just like a crazy game! It's not like it actually affects people!"

HahahaGLAACKKHHHHH [eats a knife]

Playing to the base? How low can you go?

saythatscool (#101)

Cut or uncut?

C_Webb (#855)

So hard to joust, vote-get, stir the pot AND play to the base at the same time. It's not "hypocrisy;" it's "multitasking!"

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

"let's get back to work and do good things for my district"

Such as: banish all the gays to big cities and see if they can kill each other over jobs like that.

KarenUhOh (#19)

It's a calling. It's public service. It's the hard work of America. It's only a job. It's just business.

Kevin Knox (#4,475)

And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen…

Slava (#216)

Is today a Republican Day on The Awl?!
Totally worse then the duck-out-of-work-for-a-drink day…

garge (#736)

Whatever do you mean to say was bad about the duck-out day?

Rev. Alex Cline (#5,867)

Well maybe Mark Foley found it "revolting and unforgiveable" that he was a friggin' pederast and all


scroll_lock (#4,122)

If you set "playing to the base" to the tune of "Bringing In The Sheaves" and add jazz hands it's improved considerably.

C_Webb (#855)

When I was little I got "sheaves" mixed up with "scythes," which turned a comforting hymn into a vision of marauding villagers.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

That's a diff-ernt kind of rejoicing.

Bittersweet (#765)

@scroll_lock: everything is improved considerably when you add jazz hands.

MikeBarthel (#1,884)

A certain someone (who may be here?) told me about a beach in Maryland that's understood to be just for the closeted DC Republicans. So, you know, rowr!

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Ocean Shitty?

cherrispryte (#444)

Rehoboth's in Delaware.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

If anyone's mincing around Rehoboth and thinks that's for closet cases BWAHAHAHA!

Matt (#26)

Thank you for saving me from making a "what happens in Rehoboth stays in Rehoboth" joke, cherri.

Moff (#28)

Rehoboth should be in R'lyeh, where dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@Matt- they're still abuzz about your most recent visit.

Matt (#26)

Horse cops, man. Horse cops.

cherrispryte (#444)

@scroll's 2nd comment – well this is true. I suppose MANDANCE would have picked a different name, if people were trying for closeted.

MikeBarthel (#1,884)

Sorry I'm not all cultured like you mid-Atlantic fuckers with your lacrosse and your crabs and your Omar.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@MikeB: Don't be coy- we know you have crabs.

cherrispryte (#444)

Leave Omar the lacrosse crab out of this, please.

C_Webb (#855)

Someone now to create rapey-looking crab w/lax stick logo pleeze?

nicole (#2,443)

@deepomega. That was some quick service! You rock!

deepomega (#1,720)

@nicole – requests for graphics are most often met when I see them btwn 10 and 11 am, PST. This is where my desire to work and work to do are both closest to zero.

C_Webb (#855)

@deepomega: JUST SAW THIS. MY HERO! (You, not Rapey Lax Crab.)

Miles Klee (#3,657)

"playing to the base" is code for "cupping the balls," yes?

LondonLee (#922)

"It's not personal, it's business"

Then they go and shoot the gays in the forehead.

pepper (#676)

Inside-the-Beltway stuff, really.

MattP (#475)

If there's no name for out gays helping these congressmen with terrible gay rights records can I suggest one? Uncle Tim. It sounds like uncle tom, and my uncle tim is gay.

HiredGoons (#603)

Why do you have that picture of George Hamilton and Andy Richter up there huh?

Jeff Barea (#4,298)

OH, now CHoire realizes what it took Ben Smith fucking 2 days to realize back in 08?

You are not my audience, you are just my venue. Want to become famous stay out of my way so I can reach my venue.

Also, FIND THAT BITCH… I've spent 36 hours crying over puppies – real goddamn tears and I don't like that.

sajrocks (#2,067)

"Playing to the base" = the new "jammin' on the one"!

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