Tuesday, August 10th, 2010

"Like Eating Fridge Magnets": A Journey To Pop-Tarts World


TARTSDC: Explain the t-shirt customizer.
MHKC: So, first off, they print on American Apparel blanks and it's $20 a go
MHKC: And you get to select designs from, ooooh, like 20 different options, and they silkscreen it onto the shirt for you.
MHKC: There are like half eaten Pop-Tarts
MHKC: Sprinkles
MHKC: Toasters
MHKC: Cinnamon rolls
DC: What more could a person who likes Pop-Tarts want!
MHKC: So you get to make a fancy design and, boy, it's like the permutations are ENDLESS!
DC: Fun fact: I'm wearing my Pop-Tarts t-shirt right now!
MHKC: You're wearing your Pop-Tarts t-shirt? You know what your Pop-Tarts t-shirt looks like? MY POP-TARTS T-SHIRT
MHKC: Remember when i labored over my design
MHKC: Because you went after me
DC: The only qualm i had with the Pop-Tarts t-shirt customizer
DC: Is that you can't pick the colors for each design, each design has a specific color associated with it.
MHKC: Right
MHKC: Because we both LOVED the pink
DC: (This is obviously to save costs on screens and avoid logistical hurdles, because you can only have one ink color per screen, or else you would have to have a design for each design and screen, which would mean instead of having 20 screens, you would have to have like 100)
DC: (I used to run a t-shirt company!)
MHKC: (you would! *hypebeast*)
MHKC: And weirdly one of the Pop-Tarts (kinda the cutest one in fact) you could only get in black.
DC: Wait, we didn't both "LOVE" the pink
DC: Also, as far as "biting your design goes"
DC: All i did was, take the design that was on the back of my shirt and put it on the front
DC: You originally had a toaster on the front and then put a Pop-Tart on the back
DC: And what you did was audible your design after I had put in my design to completely change yours
DC: To what mine actually was.
DC: No one cares about this though.
DC: Go to Pop-Tart World and make a t-shirt everyone, they're great!
MHKC: They're totally great


MHKC: Dude
MHKC: Pop-Tarts sushi?
MHKC: Not really fucking with it
DC: Then what was your favorite thing you had?
MHKC: I really liked the cinnamon roll crunch and the sour apple cobbler situation
MHKC: They were pretty and SUPER artificial tasting. It was like eating fridge magnets.
MHKC: In a good way
DC: I really liked the peanut butter and jelly Pop-Tart thing
DC: In fact, i had one when i got home last night and then again for breakfast this morning!
DC: It was two grape Pop-Tarts acting as the bread of a sandwich with bananas and peanut butter in the middle.
DC: I actually did like the sushi though.
DC: I love Fruit Roll-Ups but I also love traditional Japanese cuisine, so obviously that was right up my alley.
MHKC: I needed a more aggressive crunch factor for the sushi. I too adore Fruit Roll-Ups but everything gets way too squishy. But yeah for sure the Elvis thing was DEELiSH.
MHKC: Ew, how gross was ants on a log though?
DC: I didn't even eat that.
MHKC: it was REAL celery
DC: I did not go to Pop-Tarts World to eat celery.
MHKC: Yeah it was incongruous
MHKC: I mean, does Kellogg's know where celery even lives?
DC: Final thoughts?
DC: yes?
DC: Oh, ok.
MHKC: OK, i think it is significant to point out that they will have soft serve ice cream with Pop-Tarts crush ins and SPRINKLES
MHKC: I think it might be the closest thing to a Dairy Queen Blizzard that we have
MHKC: Like, i'm not thinking they will be THE SAME THiNG because DQ is this whole other 'nother beast
DC: Coldstone exists too though?
DC: I think?
DC: On like Broadway and Astor Place
MHKC: Fuck a Coldstone
MHKC: Fuck outta here with a Coldstone
MHKC: Nah dude
MHKC: Textural differences
DC: Although it might have closed.
DC: What's the difference, it's ice cream with stuff in it.
DC: Oh, also at the cafe, you get to make your own Pop-Tart
DC: With Toppings
MHKC: And the icings
MHKC: That was cool
MHKC: Mine rules
MHKC: You hate coconut though
MHKC: Which i get
DC: Yeah i really hate coconut.
DC: I don't like anything about it.
MHKC: It's unpleasant to chew
MHKC: But i like it
DC: The texture, the flavor, everything.
DC: Although I kind of like how they look.
MHKC: Hmm…
DC: I like the colorway of a coconut.
MHKC: THAT is interesting

43 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

I am definitootly old school on this whole Pop-Tart situation.

In fact, I have a package of frosted blueberries in my brief case RIGHT NOW that I put in there when they first announced the asteroid was going to hit the earth in 2017. I'm holding it as we speak. I can feel all of its 750 pieces, inside the foil.

So I am READY.

Carnage Hall (#5,633)

I am confused. Does the Meowberry Pop Tart taste like cat?

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

It tastes like pink smells. But in that generic too sweet to have a taste cotton candy way, not like vagina.

zidaane (#373)

Like an underwear drawer with a pack of bubblicious in it somewhere way?

Carnage Hall (#5,633)

See, I did want to write "pussy."

TroutSavant (#1,990)

Marshmallows and Petit Écolier cookies?!? You are a genius!

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

DUDE. You can do 70% cacao one side; white chocolate on the other side. IF YOU ARE GAY. The correct response is milk chocolate both sides.

randomnessish (#6,799)

That would def solve the problem of when the hershey's squares are too hard and the graham cracker breaks on top and you have to kind of fight to keep the precious bits falling to the floor of your kitchen where you're making s'mores on your stove top at 2am.

Multiphasic (#411)

HKC, d'ya take requests? Because the Mallowmar v. Pinwheel v. Whippet thing needs to be decon-fucking-structed.

cherrispryte (#444)

I would like to say something, and that thing is TOASTER STRUDEL FOREVER.

garge (#736)

True story: after growing up on Pop-Tarts exclusively, I was seduced by the commercials for toaster strudel and asked my mom for them. I threw it up (have since outgrown the sensitive gag reflex), and it was my first realization that advertising could be a lie.

Redacted (#2,882)

Mine was Looney-Tunes-themed tv dinners. I begged for weeks, and then finally my mom caved and it came out of the microwave and I threw up immediately upon smelling.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

This is weird, but Beefy Tees fit me really well. Despite the name, they somehow make my skinny, muscle-free frame look appealing. The only non-beefy t-shirt that has ever come close was made out of recycled plastic bottles.

C_Webb (#855)

See, I personally think that the whole t-shirt thing was a waste, and they should have a machine that lets you design your own Pop-tart.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

They have a salad bar situation at the cafe for this. Cho made his with dinosaur sprinkles. No big deal.

C_Webb (#855)

So my italix was wasted. RATS.

"It was like eating fridge magnets…In a good way"

I love Cho and Choi food articles so much. Although, odd to go through the whole thing so enthusiastically and then make us TEMPER OUR EXPECTATIONS :)

Right. TWIST.

deepomega (#1,720)

Before I move on to page too, I'd like to note that the correc Pop Tart is Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Unfrosted. I would eat two for breakfast every saturday from middle school until I graduated high school.

deepomega (#1,720)

Page *TWO jesus christ

alison (#14)

omg YES, Brown Sugar Cinnamon! Along with Captain Crunch Crunchberries, roughly 50% of my diet freshman year of college. It's amazing I still have my teeth.

carpetblogger (#306)

This. I will crave these for days now. Thanks a lot.

barnhouse (#1,326)

They don't taste the same, alas.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

I am way confused.

iantenna (#5,160)

not that i wouldn't eat the shit out of a pop tart at pop tarts world but it is extremely depressing that a glorified amusement park concessions booth is what qualifies as a viable business venture in manhattan these days.

gregorg (#30)

WHEW, such a relief to see there are pages 2 & 3. That scroll bar was descending WAY too fast for this important topic.

Also, you kids and your Pop Tart Worlds. Time was you could only find the chocolate-with-white-filling&frosting, the ur-Cookies&Creme, but NOT Cookies & Creme, at the little grocery store in Tudor City.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

You know what would be cool? If David Chang came up with some sort of Hoisin-Foie-Gras-and-Cornichon-Pickle Pop Tart. I'd jump off a bridge for it.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

-hopefully catching it in midair, as it comes rocketing out of the toaster below.-

C_Webb (#855)

See, this is what I had in mind for the design-your-own thing.

heroofthebeach (#2,280)

Dude, I would read a whole blog of you two talking about pop tarts, like everyday.

The Ice Cream Sandwich flavor really promises more than it can deliver, I prefer Hot Fudge Sundae.

I might be imagining it, but I think they made an awesome Banana Split flavor. If they didn't, they def should.

garge (#736)

It is a shame that Lisa Frank had to cast a pall over this for me, but I am sure half of a hundred billion dollars comforts one in wake of an empire under strife.

sox (#652)

We weren't allowed to eat pop tarts because we had the whole sugar-has-to-be-the-third-ingredient bullshit. But the vending machine at work sells strawberry with frosting for a mere fifty cents, so I've more than made up for lost time.

i really hate frosted pop-tarts.

deepomega (#1,720)

CORRECT. Ugh the frosting is so unsatisfying and yuck.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Barely even deserves to be called frosting. Like the inverse of a Lucky Charms "marshmallow."

heroofthebeach (#2,280)

Why haven't they made Pop Tarts with frosting on both sides (like double stuffed Oreos)? Or just like the frosting bricks without the Pop Tart?

barnhouse (#1,326)

Also the frosting catches fire in the toaster. I know someone who nearly burned his house down with Pop-Tarts frosting, it is like napalm mixed with sugar.

randomnessish (#6,799)

You forgot to mention the Pop Tarts Sushi, which, haha, no. And I think the public needs to know about that travesty.

HonoriaGlossop (#1,247)

This has nothing to do with anything – sorry – but I must share my pain. My office has gone all nazi on us and is now monitoring our internet use – so that means I can no longer mainline this site all day long and I am officially going through withdrawl. Now I will drown my sorrows with a strawberry Pop-Tart outta the machine, and return later, after work, when everything's OVER and STUPID and NO FUN ANYMORE. WAAAAAH

jumpoverit (#6,805)

alright, i'm gonna propose something radical, and you might not 'get it'. i eat my pop tarts EDGES FIRST. break the edges off. eat them. then the center. now i'm not trying to get all evangelical about it, but seriously, it's a brave new horizon that you all need to explore.

hungrybee (#2,091)

I sometimes do this, but only with the unfrosted kind. It's one of my various techniques.

ksalisbury (#6,810)

mmmmmm, sugar-coated toaster pastries. I want to go to there.

as a kid I could never get the pop-tart name right; it always came out as top-part (I must have some kind of verbal dyslexia). "Mommy, I want a top-part!"

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