Thursday, August 19th, 2010
206

Crucial Reading: Cam'ron and the Brilliance of "No Homo"

NO HOMO: POMO?"During his heyday, rapper Cam'ron dressed like the wife of a Russian oligarch. His lyrics were equally flamboyant: he made up cutesy little words ('that rooty, tooty, fruity, louie, what I usually do'-Crunk Muzik) and broke into french when complimenting his fellow crew-members ('Jim Jones c'est c'est bon, Santana magnifique'-I'm Ready). It didn't take long for rumors to abound that Cam'ron and his Diplomats were a gang of homosexuals…. But what could he do? He could hardly issue heterosexual clarifications after every suspicious statement. Or could he? His eureka moment came in a bubble bath. 'No homo!' he cried triumphantly, drowning out (diagetic) orchestral music. It was so short, so wieldy, so catchy, so musical. 'No homo' left no room for misunderstanding."
-A short and important history of "no homo."

206 Comments / Post A Comment

Multiphasic (#411)

I never had enough money to buy a Cam'ron album. No hobo.

Emily (#20)

Sigh, I was all ready with "I like to ride the rails and carry all of my belongings in a bindle, no hobo" but you beat me to it

La Cieca (#1,110)

Sometimes I'll stop at a roadside restaurant and order the fried clams. No HoJo.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

I live in New York and am registered as a democrat but…no Cuomo.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

I'm a fan of UConn women's basketball. No Lobo

katiebakes (#32)

I just popped my collar. No polo.

Face (#3,654)

I just ordered a hamburger. No cheese.

Multiphasic (#411)

David Brooks has a point. No bobo.

brent_cox (#40)

Himalayan dumplings are delicious. No momo.

David Cho (#3)

Can someone get me a replay of this post? No slow mo'.

David Cho (#3)

This whole thing is very fake gay. No faux 'mo.

David Cho (#3)

Could today be hotter?! No glow mo'.

David Cho (#3)

Arigato. No domo.

garge (#736)

brent_cox FTW. No kowtow.

But I'm Cho's slave. No majordomo.

Except when he starts talking football at me. No Tony Romo.

Maybe he and I should go get lunch! NO TACO LOCO.

David Cho (#3)

I think Final Fantasy III/VI is my favorite RPG of all time. No Chrono*.

*^Trigger

Maybe we aren't really friends! Cho really hates it when talk about cats. NO GATO.

Well we could go buy some videogames. No Costco.

Secretly I think Cho is worried about breaking up the perfect union of me and Alex Balk. No Yoko.

David Cho (#3)

We could get catering, but only crudite. No sterno.

David Cho (#3)

My problem with Choire is that he doesn't care about the site's traffic. No grow mo'.

garge (#736)

I really wish I saw Cho's 2:04-2:06 but I did not refresh. No comment tableau.

Those are harsh words, David Cho. For you? No froyo.

Fred James (#6,991)

I'm always talking about my favorite Asian garment, kimono.

David Cho (#3)

I like The Hobbit more than the rest of the LOTR series. No Frodo.

Multiphasic (#411)

I just want to take a picture to remember this thread by. No LOMO.

katiebakes (#32)

Cho(ire) have won the morning. No Politico.

Mary HK Choi (#1,469)

PAUSE.

David Cho (#3)

Beep boop. Bzzt. Whirr. No robo.

Brandillio (#6,992)

wow… you guys are totally like machines. No Robo.

Brandillio (#6,992)

man you totally beat me and now i wanna take it back. No Repo.

alison (#14)

At least the post didn't mention Lacan. No po-mo.

Multiphasic (#411)

Fuck it, I'm going back to bed. No mono.

PropSword (#2,870)

Strangely enough, I've been reading these comments while listening to Woody Allen play the clarinet. No oboe.

When are we going to address pro-palestine subtext to his lyricism? No shlomo.

Matt (#26)

Certainly we all agree that '80s Canadian angular post-punk is the best. NoMeansNo.

Matt (#26)

And that Anthrax's best album with John Bush is Sound of White Noise. Hy Pro Glo.

Natasha's back from vacation! Yay! No hetero.

Matt (#26)

But also that clowns are scary, until they're sad. No Bozo.

cuiveen (#370)

Gays took over the spectrum so straights remember: no rainbow.

cuiveen (#370)

It took forever to log in to make that comment so I'd like to make a request. No slow-go.

NinetyNine (#98)

It's threads like this that make we wish I was up three hours earlier. No WeHo.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

I can't handle greasy food right now. No WaHo.

David Cho (#3)

Kate Moss. Olsens. Sienna Miller. No boho.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

dude seems to be spending his musical career pursuing an identity of sexual erasure. -HO HOMO.-

Matt (#26)

Cam's friends would probably make fun of him as outre if he wore a fresh pair of Keds. No bo-bos.

David Cho (#3)

North of Houston. No SoHo.

oudemia (#177)

See Venice and die. No Duomo.

Matt (#26)

Led Zep IV is definitely their most overrated record. No Zoso.

Matt (#26)

Washington, DC should really give it up with the contrived neighborhood names. No NoMo.

Matt (#26)

*DITTO* No AdMo.

Matt (#26)

The Gossip will never hold a candle to later-Bikini Kill. No Ditto.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

This faux-western kitsch has gone too far. No bolo.

NinetyNine (#98)

I love me a good Rioja. No Douro.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

And I'm sorry, but this stuff from your basement is terrible. No homegrown.

we all need to chill and smoke some chrondo

Matt (#26)

If I ever have children I refuse to allow them to learn soccer. No Volvo.

NinetyNine (#98)

Italian villas are overrated. No Como.

NinetyNine (#98)

There's no way I'm putting my fist up that ass. No Elmo.

Matt (#26)

Baseball players and their wacky names. What's up with that? No Coco.

Matt (#26)

Wait. They don't love you like I love you. No Karen O.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Flightless birds give me the creeps. No dodo.

NinetyNine (#98)

I prefer my living room angular and clean. No Rococo.

PropSword (#2,870)

@Matt I'm surprised you haven't referenced the music scene in Washington D.C. No Go-Go.

David Cho (#3)

Estas? No como.

Matt (#26)

@Prop well the scene on U Street just ain't what it used to be. No JoJo.

NinetyNine (#98)

Haven't you heard? We're overfishing tuna. No Toro.

Matt (#26)

I really, actually did like that thing. Don't let this sentiment fall under the vagaries of conveying tone on the internet. No so-so.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

All this talk of kitsch decor, and -no Yucko.-

Matt (#26)

You got my body now you want my soul. Say No Go.

PropSword (#2,870)

I was disappointed when Johnny Cage wasn't included in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. No low blow.

Matt (#26)

You know what? Fuck Missouri. No MO.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Colorado, too. NO CO.

hungrybee (#2,091)

I can't run a mile without panting and I can't grow my nails for shit. No FloJo.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

this thread is making me sad, like the day Lennon died. -no Yoko.-

cuiveen (#370)

I have nothing more to add. No also.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

-faceslap- sorry Papa.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Wizard of Oz was overrated. No Toto.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

One man come here to joostify, one man to overthrow, in the naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame of love, what moooore in the naaame of looooove. No Bono.

Matt (#26)

Really sad there's only one Golden Girl left. Thank you for being a bro.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Also, 70s "rock" sucked. No Toto.

Matt (#26)

Spider-Man's rogues gallery is second-tier at best. No Mysterio.

melis (#1,854)

What a lousy friend of Dorothy. No Toto.

Matt (#26)

Miss u, T. Monk. No Misterioso.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Someone send a Tumblr-reblog of this to Maureen Dowd, so she can whine about how men aren't manly anymore. No MoDo.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Ice Cube's a big movie star now- No Yoyo.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Ice T, however, well, Plus CoCo.

Matt (#26)

Kilborn was really hampered by the dinner-hour time slot of the test run of his new program. No Late Late Show.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Dunkin Donuts is aight, but no Ho-ho.

PropSword (#2,870)

I'm running dangerously low on electrolytes. No Brawndo.

katiebakes (#32)

Leon Neyfakh. No BroBo.

Matt (#26)

Ms. Badu just had to flush it. No yayo.

katiebakes (#32)

Just had lunch with Bret Easton Ellis. No Spago.

Legs Battaglia (#2,484)

Track and field doesn't need those long nails. No FloJo.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Just reblogged YM reblogging AY. No Kruco.

Matt (#26)

No way, brother. That is too spicy for my plus I am watching my salt intake. No chorizo.

Matt (#26)

Still can't believe Axl would walk off the stage like that and cause a riot. Worse than a no-show.

Matt (#26)

(With an assist from everyone's favorite take-it-to-the-streets activist): Man, that song about the little girl in Japan is creepy, am I right? No Cuomo.

Matt (#26)

This bottle. Of Stevens. Awakens ancient feelings. Say It Ain't So.

Regulators (#4,114)

I was late to the Eclipse matinee showing. No fandango.

zidaane (#373)

I make my bolognese with garlic and basil. No guido

Matt (#26)

Fuck Mike Love. No Kokomo.

Matt (#26)

Why has Choire deserted this thread? No kimono.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Caramel and chocolate should never be mixed. No rolo.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

This color is barely acceptable for a highlighter. No day-glo.

Multiphasic (#411)

Mmmm, chipotles. No adobo.

Multiphasic (#411)

Menopause. No hormone.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

So many comments. I left for a while to go shopping but my coupons were expired. No BOGO.

Matt (#26)

God the new Star Trek movie was horrible. No Quinto.

Matt (#26)

That cat commercial still freaks me out. No Quiznos.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Least it wasn't a talking chihuahua. No Taco.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Derrick Rose is the best young point guard in the league. No Rondo.

Multiphasic (#411)

I will not argue against these charges. Contendere? No lo.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

The Wolfman was unwatchable. No Benicio del Toro

There are going to be more comments after this. No último :(

Multiphasic (#411)

I think I fucked that up. I will argue against these charges. Contendere? No no lo!

Multiphasic (#411)

Stitch. No Lilo.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

I use my waffle iron in the morning. No Eggo.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

I think we should ditch this thread and go for a bike-ride through the Italian countryside. No Piaggio.

Multiphasic (#411)

Okay, everyone needs to just take a deep breath, close their eyes, and chill the fuck out. No benzo.

Multiphasic (#411)

That's a nonstick pan, shithead. No brillo.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

A cooler full of Twisted Tea. No Ice Your Bro.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

…of course, we might wind up having to spend the night and slashing each other to pieces at a haunted Villa. No DarioArgento.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Objective truth exists. No PoMo

Multiphasic (#411)

Hic! No wino.

Multiphasic (#411)

Yoink! No Wino.

brent_cox (#40)

I need a fountain soda and a bag of chips. No Wawa.

Regulators (#4,114)

Pet Sounds is the only album I'll ever need. No Kokomo.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

They tried to clone Superman. No Bizarro.

Multiphasic (#411)

Hi, I'm Billy Dee Williams. No Lando.

Multiphasic (#411)

Hi, I'm Tilda Swinton. No Orlando.

Matt (#26)

@Brent: Wawa over Sheetz for life. No MTO.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Cliff Hangers is the best game. No Plinko.

Regulators (#4,114)

I am the only one up here with a silhouette head. No awl logo.

Multiphasic (#411)

Hi, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. No Commando.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Hi, I'm Bubbles the Chimp. No Jacko.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

I have a deep seeded distrust of authority figures. No Po-Po.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Hi, I'm Johnny Thunders. Sorry, Mo Smacko.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Can't walk the dog or around the world. No yo yo

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Kansas City Kansas. No JoCo.

zidaane (#373)

I thought she was great but her cat had to go. Bad Juju.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Hatless. No chapeau.

Legs Battaglia (#2,484)

Don't come Closer. No Ne-Yo.

Regulators (#4,114)

Team Whitney Port. No Olivia Palermo.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

Krusty's ratings are back up. No Gabbo.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Roy Orbison. No Bolo.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Politics should not be corrupt. No Blago.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Sorry, Balk. I had to quit, with the cigarettes. No Zippo.

boyofdestiny (#1,243)

The other Marx Brothers are better. No Zeppo.

Emerson is my favorite Transcendalist. No Thoreau.

Legs Battaglia (#2,484)

Pinocchio should be a real boy. No Geppetto.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

I STARTED A TEA PARTY CHAPTER IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. WE'RE FOR………………….NO BARACKO!

roboloki (#1,724)

y'awl killing me. fo sho

Multiphasic (#411)

I'm a thug from Northern California. No Novato vato.

Matt (#26)

Ace the Bat-Hound was a crime-fighting mutt who didn't need superpowers. No Krypto.

Matt (#26)

Furthermore, they really shoulda called it quits after Streaky, the Super-Horse. No Beppo.

Matt (#26)

I make a point of legitimately purchasing everything I walk out of a place of commerce. No klepto.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Going on safari and worried about swimming in the river. No hippo.

Matt (#26)

Sure there were a couple of sweet bars and the scenery wasn't half bad, but getting around when I lived in Glover Park kinda sucked. No Metro.

Multiphasic (#411)

TOPLESS JERSEY SHORE LOHAN NAKED SEX SCANDAL OBAMA BIEBER. No SEO.

NinetyNine (#98)

Second acts are for losers. No Gekko.

Mindpowered (#948)

Al together now… No Solo.

Miles Klee (#3,657)

High-pressure showers only. No low-flow.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

I've put on a lot of weight lately. No photo.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Allergic to white boots and mini-skirts. No go-go.

I'm a regular guy. No JoeBlow.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Real sugar, please. No SweetNLow.

Multiphasic (#411)

I'm digging a trench! I'm totally digging a trench! Watch me dig this trench that I'm totally digging! No backhoe.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Les Claypool is a fancy-fingered bassist, sure, but No Jaco.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

HipHoprisy might be Disposible, but California ist Ãœber Alles. No Jello.

vase (#450)

Don't want the bureau of alcohol, tabacco, firearms & explosives killing my high, no Waco

Joe Berkowitz (#5,534)

Sam Kinison had the best version of Wild Thing, no Tone Loc

Joe Berkowitz (#5,534)

'One-time' is the best 1990s slang for 'cops', no po-po

Joe Berkowitz (#5,534)

I tell women when their boyfriends have been cheating, no bro-code

Joe Berkowitz (#5,534)

Madlib's the best Jackson brother on Stone's Throw records, no OhNo

Joe Berkowitz (#5,534)

Flavor syrup is delicious, but I HATE ice, no sno-cone

I want dessert but the fridge is broken, no jello

His whole attitude is such a turn-off. No mojo.

ericdeamer (#945)

Not gonna use "them big big words that they don't understand". No Rococo.

Multiphasic (#411)

I'm an old-world ape. No homonid.

Multiphasic (#411)

I'm an old-world ape. No bonobo.

katiebakes (#32)

Extremely tangentially related: has anyone ever written a more realistic man-to-man post-coital phone conversation than Cam'ron?

Yo L
What up
I hit
What else
Plus dome
Say word
And we got it on tonight

He's basically the male Nicole Holofcener.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

Worst acrostic ever.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Killa!

Bryan Keller (#3,804)

He's fucking hot! No homo.

RAP vs. SWEDEN (#2,668)

Je voudrais LaBoeuf. No JoGo.

Brandillio (#6,992)

he still can't throw a tighter spiral than me. No Romo.

Patrick Brown (#4,918)

Pink is dead. Cam'ron needs a subscription to Vogue. No L'uomo.

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

As any skinhead would tell you, fucking another man in the ass is only gay if you do it lovingly. As is everything else.

Aatom (#74)

I'd still hit that. SO HOMO.

Niko Bellic (#1,312)

Excellent!

All of this made my day, but can I just note some problems with Dische's piece.

Cam's career took off in late '97 from then until late '01, he was more or less a run of the mill rapper, tough with a witty lyrical turn. Then he started getting flamboyant with his wardrobe, which was a direct bite from Ghostface, who delcared himself "the black Boy George" in early 2000.

Circa '03-4, he did almost have "the whole NY wearing pink." Not me or anyone I know personally, but you'd see young men wearing pink at that time because Cam made it OK.

Dische is all wrong on Cam's career arc. He fell off c. '99, made a comeback in 01-2, was very popular from '02-'06, but still gets radio play today.

Once in a while he says something very witty.

Matt (#26)

THANK YOU.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Ice like Winnipeg

Dave Bry (#422)

"Purple Haze" really is a masterpiece. Not so-so.

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

> masterpiece

Canary-red.

Ibim Nkramo (#6,999)

Dische is vague about dates… probably because this is just meant to be a fun piece. If it's a historical document then, by god, the bubblebath story demands verification!

flossy (#1,402)

No, homo.

Brandillio (#6,992)

but at least gay people can get married in california! pro homo.

A.R. Chrisman (#2,964)

Can we please discuss Big L's tendency to mention how flamboyant he was?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Naomi Klein is my go-to lefty, no logo.

Jian DeLeon (#7,099)

cam'ron got his comeuppance, quid pro quo.

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