Thursday, August 19th, 2010
15

Batman (Will Be Sitting On The Toilet) Forever


When I was a naive young lad in second grade one of the more experienced boys taught me this ditty, the tune to which begins similarly to that of the "Batman" TV show theme song but then goes slightly off-course to address the weight of the extended lyrics before returning to the original theme for the big conclusion. It goes like this.

Batman
Batman
Batman, Batman, Batman
Batman
Swinging on a rubber band
Batman
Along came Superman
Thought he was the Booger Man
Threw him in the garbage can
Batman
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da
Batman

I, of course, having not yet been introduced to the sophisticated wordplay of a Cole Porter or Noel Coward, thought this was one of the most delightful musical variations ever invented. Later that evening, however, I was informed by my mother that it was, in fact, quite coarse and unworthy, and I believe I was not allowed to watch TV for the rest of the night which, when you're 8, is pretty much 25-to-life. So I've always had mixed feelings about Batman. But if this video is any indication, it turns out my mom was correct: the dude is a scumbag. I mean, who eats at Taco Bell? [Via]

15 Comments / Post A Comment

Matt (#26)

Alex, I Dislike You

Matt (#26)

ALSO, I used to take extreme umbrage at the "Jingle Bells" variation common amongst the same type youths. You know the one:

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg

Especially the song's conclusion in which the Batmobile loses a wheel allowing the Joker to get away. I didn't know it then, but really what I was bristling at was this silly adolescent notion that somehow the Joker was the more "legitimate" character and that the bad guy is always "cooler" than the good guy. (An affect only bolstered by that redolent pinch-loaf of a Christopher Nolan clusterfuck.) (And yes, my avatar is a Joker face, but c'mon. It's a Silver Age Joker. Talking about boners.)

Unfortunately, unable to vocalize this at the time, I just retaliated by making up my own lyrics. Which were kind of sad, looking back, as all I did was use the other kids' ready-made schematic while putting a heavy emphasis on "Penguin smells" and "Joker laid an egg" and especially "And Batman SAVED THE DAY."

As long as we're telling stories.

brianvan (#149)

always taking the #renditbait

barnhouse (#1,326)

That is a simply beautiful story Matt. Wow! It would make a fine essay, I reckon. Needs to be a little longer, I guess. Has a very David Foster Wallace feeling to it.

jolie (#16)

@Matt: The bad guys is always cooler. And I think you mean 'Alexandra I Dislike You'

Jolie's right. Just look at Moff.

barnhouse (#1,326)

Oh no. The lovely little boy who ends his song with "And Batman SAVED THE DAY" is the coolest.

kneetoe (#1,881)

To be fair, there's no evidence that he ate the food. Maybe he's trying to SAVE that guy from eating at Taco Bell?!?!

Dave Bry (#422)

Jingle bells/Batman smells/Robin laid an egg/The Batmobile/lost its wheel/And the Joker got away/Hey!

Matt (#26)

HEY!

Dave Bry (#422)

No offense.

KarenUhOh (#19)

While Robin got served at Chick-Fil-A.

LondonLee (#922)

How does Batman know when it's time to eat?

His mum says

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!

mrschem (#1,757)

Transatlantic comics humor.

I'm pretty sure that Jingle Bells song inspired that entire Batmobile-Batpod sequence in The Dark Knight.

I thought of that song during that scene the first time I saw the movie. I believe it does lose a wheel when it takes the rocket.

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