Apparently Science is saying that fewer than half of American boys are being circumcised now! This is good news, because, you guys, circumcision is really weird. It's a super-weird thing to do! And the whole "circumcision as HIV prevention" thing is wacko. You know what prevents HIV? Not putting condom-free penises inside things. And… as always, this is bad news too.
Yes, this is sad news of a bygone era. Now, American guys who go traveling in Europe are going to become less sexually favored. No, seriously!
Once upon a time, dear young people-yes, go on! Gather around! Story time!-an American would go to Europe and be beset by lusty Parisians and Swedes who rarely got a chance to spy a circumcised penis.
And that is how sex tourism was born. No, wait, it wasn't, that's something else entirely.
But seriously. Now Americans will show up in London and, I dunno, Gdansk and there'll be nary a frisson of sexual difference. It'll just be one more guy with a penis that looks like pretty much every penis because penises, despite their remarkable diversity, really aren't all that different once you've seen a few dozen of them. (And everyone in Europe has, thanks to the socialism.)
Though-to look on the brighter side again-I guess this means Jews will at long last be popular in Europe.