Friday, July 23rd, 2010

The War Against Birds: We're Killing Them All!

:(The War Against Birds (Birds: We Have Always Been At War With Them!) just got insanely serious: "A nine-page report put together by a variety of national, state and city agencies shows that officials hope to reduce the number of Canada geese in New York to 85,000 from 250,000." By, you know, euthanizing them and burying them. (Somehow, may I add, actually eating them doesn't seem to have occurred to anyone?)

I guess… we're winning.

19 Comments / Post A Comment

dado (#102)

The goose is cooked, but not really.

Tuna Surprise (#573)

No taxidermy? It is Brooklyn after all.

deepomega (#1,720)

I would drink a bottle of beer from a taxidermied goose.

SourCapote (#4,872)

wow really?….sorry but i have a few problems kissing and drinking when squirrels get involved

Can't someone just tell them that the Phoenix Coyotes are relocating to Ontario, and see if they get the hint?

Seems more humane.

djfreshie (#875)

No. Please keep our Geese. Their poop gets in the way of my par putts.

Yeah, well, their poop also gets in the way of my Airbus A320 to Charlotte.

ljnd (#86)

Why the hell you want to go to Charlotte, anyway?

kneetoe (#1,881)

Based on that picture taking them out with helicopters seems inefficient.

conklin (#364)

Yeah, remember this moment in 2016 when the city is completely overrun by helicopters and importing Lake Placid gators to take them out.

The long-term unemployed will be given special licenses to kill and eat geese. Once the geese are gone, the licenses will be to kill and eat the chronic poor.

Hirham (#1,709)

About a decade ago Toronto floated the idea of feeding Canada geese to the homeless, but literally no-one wanted to eat them.

ljnd (#86)

Of course – we don't know where they've been or what they've been eating. Though we can guess. *skeeve*

C_Webb (#855)

Wait til the geese hire an avian Magnificent Seven to fight back. THEN we'll be sorry.

HiredGoons (#603)

Tippi Hendrin was also fashion-forward.

jolie (#16)


i just moved to alaska and i can tell you that we're losing.

the ravens and bald eagles are after us. they're starting small but they're coming for you, trust me.

barnhouse (#1,326)

If you think this is bad, stay far, far away from the new Franzen piece in this week's New Yorker. Super Bird Murder Trauma. All kinds of harrowing. Am going to attempt to survive on raw spinach from now on as result of reading.

LotaLota (#1,703)

I have a mid-1960s era photo of my dad proudly holding up two Canada honkers he bagged, which back then was a rare enough occurrence to claim bragging rights. So the once critically-diminished Canada goose population has not just rebounded, it's become too robust.

We need bands of brave volunteers to go addle their eggs.

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