Have you heard the adorable story about the bear in New Hampshire who entered a home, ate some fruit, drank the water from a fishbowl, and then grabbed a stuffed teddy bear on its way out? So cute, right? Less cute: The bear-or bears-in Montana who went on a rampage, killing one and wounding two in separate incidents lately. Authorities are in hot pursuit. Anyway, if you're in Montana and you see a bear, stay away. Don't even offer it a teddy bear or anything. Totally not worth it.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
11
The attacks will continue until we shut down their training camps.
in CANADA.
I think Meredith just tried to call the bears "criminals."
OH MY GOD NO THAT IS NOT CUTE AT ALL.
NH has friendly bears... a friend sent this a few minutes ago, shot in his backyard last week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4Y4gLUunVA
That was so, so cute. Ask your friend if he's got a slip-n-slide or a trampoline. I think it would go over well.
Grizzly bear attacks at campgrounds are the worst, b/c typically the bear has "decided" that the people in the tent are food and its aim is to kill and eat said person. In this circumstance (which, of course, you will never be in) playing dead is a fail, as (1) you've already been doing that and (2) the bear wants you dead. You're supposed to fight back, which, of course, is futile, b/c you've just woken up in a pitch black tent with a huge carnivore attacking you.
That's kind of how you tell the difference between real bears and fake bears (i.e. Berenstain Bears, Little Bear, Bad News Bears, etc.). Sometimes real bears do cute things and sometimes they get pissed or hungry and fuck shit up, and we don't really get to choose what happens when.
SPECIAL RULES APPLY
You don't say?
Just handover the fucking twelve-pack of Coors to the bear and LET IT GO, dude. Just let it go.
Yellowstan? Surely she means China.