Friday, July 30th, 2010
11

Psychic Octopus Sells Out

"Paul the psychic octopus may have retired from predicting football matches, but his advertising career has just begun. The eight-legged oracle recently appeared in an advertisement for a German supermarket chain and has received more than 160 endorsement offers, including a book deal, according to the mollusk's agent."
-WHAT A FREAKING PHONY. I remember when it was all about forecasting which collection of athletes who were competing in a task that would be completely inexplicable to the octopus if he saw what they were doing, which he didn't, by choosing the flag of one nation-another impossible concept for a cephalopod to comprehend-over another, man. You can't trust anyone.

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11 Comments / Post A Comment

Jeff Barea (#4,298)

I'm still sticking with this was a cynical and calculated move comparing the most likely winner and weighting the finnish outcome on the law of averages.

Knute, however, I think can steal the spotlight if they just let him maul a temp or something.

And so the E! True Hollywood Story begins.

Matt (#26)

I think this headline is supposed to read, "Psychic Octopus Doesn't Stay Indie," sir.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Genesis P. Orridge is way, way too Sub-Indie to ever be even considered "Indie", dude.

KarenUhOh (#19)

The inevitable eight sellouts.

joshc (#442)

Endorse or get eaten

saythatscool (#101)

And to think that the dramatic chipmunk is sucking cock for brazil nuts now.

oldirtybassist (#3,630)

You underestimate cephalapods.

untitled HD (#4,555)

He's probably already dead, in formaldehyde, like L Ron Hubbard,
and he is being placed over the appropriate choice of country flag, or 'yes'
or 'no' answer.. to whatever 1-900 questions come in…..
and they are already raising similar octopi, for his
job in years to come.

Or has The Awl made me nore cynical? (it's octopi, right?)

6h057 (#1,914)

This reminds me of a situation back in the 80s and this woman's dog was predicting all the outcomes to certain football games. Well, the Mafia wasn't too keen on canine clairvoyance, so they did the next best thing and flooded the market with marked Maya birds. God, the saps would suck up whatever you'd shovel in front of them…

But that was a different time… A different place. You know, back before AIDS had everyone scared to shove their stuff where the sun don't shine… But who am I to say what is and isn't a crime?

6h057 (#1,914)

Oh, I probably should tell you whatever Jacqueline Stallone's dog predicts PUT YOU DOUGH ON THE LINE

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