'Inception' A "Deranged Turkey"
"In Christopher Nolan movies, I never know whether he's going to find an ending or not, but I never have any problem finding the exit…. Like bottom feeder Charlie Kaufman, Mr. Nolan's reputation as an arrogant maverick draws a first-rate cast of players, none of whom have an inkling of what they're doing or what this movie is about in the first place, and all of whom have been seen to better advantage elsewhere. Especially Leonardo DiCaprio, who remains one of the screen's most gullible talents…. Inception is the kind of pretentious perplexity in which one or two reels could be mischievously transposed, or even projected backward, and nobody would know the difference." WHAT IF… Friday finally comes and you find yourself agreeing with Rex Reed?
"I have no idea what the market is for this jabbering twaddle-probably people who fritter away their time playing video games, which I'm willing to bet pretty much describes Christopher Nolan."
#NOT ENOUGH LOLS LEFT IN THE LOLBANK
"In other words, he can close his eyes, enter somebody else's dreams with his pock-marked baby face and blow up China."
I'm dyin' over here.
"Since there's nothing to act, the cast doesn't even bother. It's the easiest kind of movie to make, because all you have to do is strike poses and change expressions. "
#CHAPTER-11 LOLS
"Writer-director Nolan is an elegant Hollywood hack from London whose movies are a colossal waste of time, money and I.Q. points."
Oh Rex. We still have so much to learn from you. (But c'mon, no love for The Prestige?)
"people who fritter away their time playing video games"
I am pinned to a card like a butterfly by Mr. Reed's piercing analysis!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get on a plane to Rex Reed's house so I can punch him for his slights against Charlie Kaufman.
To be fair I really wanted to blow my brains out during "Being John Malkovich".
If you take the title of Synecdoche literally and see the movie as whatever happened to baby NYC, it's not so bad.
But Nolan and Kaufman? that's a pretty persuasive pairing.
I do the same thing to the first line of the theme from Full House. The Milkman, The Paperboy. Even TV. It even rhymes!
Malkovich is the weakest of his ouvre, just because the best parts are turned into an entire movie in Eternal Sunshine. But christ do I love Synecdoche, so shut up.
"One eyeball out of four."
Rex Reed really has to stop poking himself.
I hate to say it, but: except for having a sincere appreciation for Charlie Kaufman, I pretty much agree with Reed's evaluation of the rest of Nolan's resume. So much portent, so little actual thought or depth.
Come on –Memento's great. Everything else is flawed, maybe, but still better than your average Hollywood fuckup. I'd say something like Insomnia or Dark Knight are 20 minutes too long, and too heavy? Humourless, and plodding where they could be snappy and fun.
P.S: Oh shit I think I'm agreeing with Reed too. Still looking forward to Inception, though!
P.S.S: Kaufman is unfairly lumped in here, because his writing shows more invention, creativity and random genius than 99% of anything released any year.
Come to think of it, Being Rex Reed would've been a much funnier film.
Malkovich.
Malkovich Malkovich? Because Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich….
John Malkovich. Being Myra Breckinridge.
He's free to have whatever opinion he wants, but I find it impossible to ever agree with a guy who admits he is baffled by such 'complex' movies as Momento, the Batmans, or the Prestige. YO REX! Here ya go:
1) Memento: His memory sucks
2) Batman Begins: He begins being Batman
3) Dark Knight: Still figuring shit out as Batman. Heath Ledger plays Jack Nicholson
4) Prestige: Magic isn't real.
There you go Rex Reed. Yeah, that stuff was super "Maniacally Baffling Head Scratching Jigsaw Puzzling."
"…plays Jack Nicholson trying out for Kids In The Hall and just not making the cut," but yes.
Dave Foley and Maura Tierney saving Radio, now that's a Bruce Wayne/Vicki Vale scenario I can get behind.
I wish Kids in the Hall did a Batman movie instead of the mediocre Death Comes to Town. Mark McKinney as Chickenlady as Catwoman. Bruce McCullough as Cancer Boy as Penguin. OH Dave Foley as Bruno Puntz Jones as Two Face. Clearly. Scott Thompson as Buddy Cole as Joker. This is really easy. Kevin McDonald as Simon Milligan as Ra's Al Ghul. They can all play Batman, really.
**blinking**
I actually prefer Ed Koch's movie reviews in The Villager to Rex Reed. They're both clueless old farts, but at least Koch doesn't pretend to understand film. He just says stuff like, "I didn't like this picture. It was too loud and the characters were mean."
I entered one of Rex's dreams and woke in pair of torn capris.
"If you're still awake, you're one step ahead of me. I dozed off ages ago."
If you dozed off in the middle of Memento, The Prestige, etc., too, I can see how you might find them incoherent. (Time to start taking afternoon naps, Mr. Reed?)
I liked it. It was also a good episode on Spongebob.
http://spongebob.nick.com/videos/play/sleepy-time-suds-full-episode
I'd like to see a list of directors' films in which Rex Reed does have problems finding the exit.
Armond White wasn't a fan either. So.
Rex Reed + Armond White need an "At the Movies"-style TV show.
I will produce this
*for free
Uh oh. Brainy effects movie with gargantuan promotional budget headed for logical disconnect? I'd have counted on it until Rex dismissed "Memento." My problem with Nolan is the audio mix and everything going dark most of the time, but I'm ancient so who knows?
WHAT IS WITH SHITTY AUDIO MIXES IN MOVIES LATELY?!?! ARRRGH
I kind of agree that Nolan can be over clinical. The Prestige was an amazing film, but with little emotional depth. The Dark Knight pretended to have some sort of depth, like it was all aspiring to be more than just a comicbook movie, but really I think it was more the apex of popcorn movies than super deep. Like with Memento, his movies seem to be more about seamless clockwork mechanics than about feeling. That said, I love puzzles and am looking forward to Inception! Also, Primer was the greatest Nolan movie that he didn't direct.
Synecdoche, New York was amazing then self-indulgent then finally amazing. Eternal Sunshine makes me cry.
PRIMER! Talk about a hidden gem. I'm the only person who's seen it but every chance I get it goes on a best-of list. I can't think of another low-budget indie that gets more mileage out of it's ideas.
Primer: Greatest sci-fi movie of the Aughts, bar none. I've bought a half dozen DVDs and distributed them to friends. I'd wear the T-shirt if there were one. This cult just needs a single point to coalesce around. Are you that point?
Whether or not Inception is a let-down or not, let's get one thing clear: I WILL NEVER AGREE WITH REX REED.
Yes. And for the record, kimchi is delicious.
isn't it though? MMMMMM, Rex Reed; Kimchi. MM.
Rex Reed is like the Andy Rooney of film critics.
Also: "Things that make other people happy make me grumpy!"
It's tough to relate with a reviewer who tries as hard as possible to not like a single thing about anything.
After a long day of editing I Can Haz Cheezburger, Rex's natural effervesence is usually pretty tapped out by the time he gets to his special Ovaltine-stained seat at the local multiplex.