Friday, July 23rd, 2010
47

Friend or Follow Reveals Who Doesn't Follow You Back On Twitter

LOLSFriend or Follow tells you which people that you follow on Twitter don't follow you back. It is incredibly destructive. Now I know which 58 of you people aren't following me back and I am WOUNDED. Wounded I say! Because my social networking vanity is harmed. How will my digi-narcissism ever recover? Anyway, bonus points for any website that sounds like an Adam Ant song.

47 Comments / Post A Comment

Dan Kois (#646)

Balk, Choire and Mary HK Choi do not follow me.

Signed,
Heartbroken

deepomega (#1,720)

Seconded. Going to go eat a pint of rocky road and tweet about it.

BUT @AWL follows you!

Alex Balk (#4)

I don't follow anyone. I LEAD.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

and we're supposed to follow you right off the cliff, right? Yes Sir!

jolie (#16)

@Balk: Actually, you're an isolated, anti-social weirdo who picks his nose and eats it. The whole "leader" thing is just something your mom tells you to make you feel better about things.

kneetoe (#1,881)

@Balk: Yes, but in this case what you lead at is something called tweeting, so, a real blow to your manhood.

Alex Balk (#4)

Also tumbling!

kneetoe (#1,881)

Manhood wise, tumbling could go either way, I suppose.

Liquid (#546)

Chiming in here! MR CHOIRE, WHERE ARE YOOOUUUU??? Here I am, 'tweeting' every week or so, and do you know what I say. No, you don't. Is it life-changing? PROBABLY! Banal? NEVER!
I even refuse to tell my *real* Twitter friends daily boring crap, like what I had for breakfast (bacon-inna-bun) and what beautiful plant I noticed today (none!).
I'm not even followed by @awl! Oh, wait, I don't follow that feed. Righteous indignation: plummeting.
OK, I'm better now. (<- Lie)

David Carr, you are now dead to me!

delrayser (#319)

You know what else that site does, Choire? It also tells you which people are following you, that you aren't following back. AHEM.

WHO KNEW YOU PEOPLE WERE ON TWITTER?

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Thanks for pointing that out, because I actually have some of those!

(They are mostly spam accounts, but NOT ALL.)

Ego: boosted.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

William Gibson, HOW COULD YOU?

BadUncle (#153)

I'm shattered that the only two Twits I follow – London's Tower Bridge and Babeland – don't follow me.

HiredGoons (#603)

Who is that jackass with his hand in front of his face?

keisertroll (#1,117)

Tis better to have been followed and unfollowed on Tumblr than not to have been followed on Twitter at all.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

#TWO BIZZY TWUMBLRING 2 TWIT

Screen Name (#2,416)

I am following you in real life. I see you just took a sip of that coffee. Does it taste good? Oh, by the way, I like the new background image on your laptop but kinda wish you'd go back to the beach photo from that trip we… sorry, you… took to Long Beach Island in May.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

i hope you didn't just see me scratch my butt-crack!

@screen name#urgh!+#diggin' in

HiredGoons (#603)

do you see me flipping you off?

Screen Name (#2,416)

You're such a flirt.

lawyergay (#220)

WTF Anderson Cooper? Do you want me to just start old-fashioned stalking you again?

Just kidding. I have never stalked Anderson Cooper. I don't need to. Because he lives in my toaster oven.

I stalk him on time-delay, as we go to the same barber. (And it is an actual less-than-$20-per-haircut barber, which I found rather surprising with respect to him–not so much me.)

Setec: You have access to AC's trimmings? Genuine Anderson Cooper Merkins get top $!

@andersoncooper, or as I like to call him, "Archaic Torso of Apollo"

HiredGoons (#603)

@Setec: Astor Hair or the charming Russian Jews on 6th street, by any chance?

@HG: Uzbek Jews, 7th Ave. and 10th St.

HiredGoons (#603)

I only trust Jews and Italians to cut my curls.

therzo (#1,085)

Yeah, Josh Robin and Balk don't follow me either. I bet the two that really sting are NYRB Classics and BUTT magazine.

David Cho (#3)

Josh Grobin?

stevespillman (#3,199)

He loves me! He really, really loves me!

keisertroll (#1,117)

THE MONTREAL EXPOS, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!!!

brent_cox (#40)

Unrequited!

katiebakes (#32)

noooooooo COME BACK, Dana Stevens! I promise I'll see more movies!!!!!!!!

hockeymom (#143)

Thanks a lot, Balk.
And Neil Patrick Harris.
And Al Gore.
I give and give and give. And what do I get in return? Nuttin'.
Sheesh.

garge (#736)

As soon as I can figure out how to triangulate the spurned … I will be following you, mom.

HiredGoons (#603)

The irony being: articles about Twitter are more interesting than Twitter.

DoctorDisaster (#1,970)

Not true, if you're careful about who you follow.

SeaBassTian (#281)

We hate it when our friends become successful. And if they're FOLLOWED, that just makes it even worse.

Chris (#5,644)

Yo that site is mad old brosef.

Chris (#5,644)

THE PERFECT COMMENT HAS BEEN ACHIEVED.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

Aaaaaawwwesome, Bro!!! -ICES you!-

Chris (#5,644)

BROSEMITE.

gaytheist (#929)

What's even more fun and informative is putting in other people's names, particularly people who bug.

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