So last night professional crazy person Kanye West opened up a Twitter account after performing a mysterious and confusing (but kind of awesome) a capella performance at Facebook HQ. If you were lucky enough to start following him last night you either stayed up late into the night waiting for his next insane, misspelled (but again kind of awesome) Tweet or awoke this morning to a torrent of craziness. So, without further introduction (or parentheses) here's our guide for understanding the unhinged tweet-rantings of Kanye West.
"Up early in the morning taking meetings in Silicone Valley" 11:17 AM Jul 28th
And we're off, word misspelled, but it's not really too insane right?
"Lol I spelled Silicon wrong ( I guess I was still thinking about the other type of silicone ITS A PROCESS!! : )" 12:05 PM Jul 28th
Ok, that smiley is a bit strange, but nothing like his capslocked blog posts, maybe Kanye West has calmed down a bit. Who doesn't get confused about the difference between silicon and silicone? He dates a lot of models.
Between 12:53 PM Jul 28th and about 22 hours ago West made shout outs to various celebrities like Jimmy Fallon and Perez Hilton, did a shoutout to Pitchfork, usual stuff. He tweets here and there about how cool twitter is; around yesterday afternoon it really looked like he was all better from the kooky thoughts that made him yell Taylor Swift and cry on television. Last night it looked like we were in the clear America-we got our college dropout back!
And then about 13 hours ago he started posting about goblets...
And he kept posting about goblets...
Oh, here's another goblet picture...
And then after that, as the night rolled into the early morning he pretty much just stopped making any sense whatsoever.
About 13 hours ago he tweeted "I feel the glow" and from then on it was a mish-mash of insanity with tweets like "SWAGGER ON 200,000 THOUSAND TRILLION!!!" (I don't think that's a number...), "Dating models I had to learn to like small dogs and cigarettes," "Classical music is tight yo," "William Tell" Overture by Andre' Rieu ... Maybach music!!!," and then about 2 hours ago West tweeted "I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh."
And then there's this. Which we can get behind!
this J.Press tie is the greatest tie of all tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!!!!!!!! Kool Aid smile!!!! It's the small things that mean so much
Kanye West
kanyewest
So, there you have it, a simple and easy to follow timeline on the rising insanity of Kanye West's twitter account. There's probably a good chance it's only going to get more insane from here, so be sure and start following him now, it can't be long before he tops Hayley Williams and twitpics his penis wearing shutter shades "accidentally."
Celebrities: they're tweets are just as stupid as ours!
I hope you did that on purpose.
*celebrity's
*as ares
I kind of sort of want to know what happens with the rug.
Seconded.
More importantly, how will it go with the sofa?
@DM: "What do I have to do to get a simple sectional sofa with psuedo-heraldic/gay Masonic imagery uuuuugh"
It's not a sofa, it's an Ottoman!
FTR: The "swagger" tweet is a reference to his rhyme on "Swagger Like Us". On the song, he says, "Mr. West is in the building/Swagger on a hundred, thousand, trillion".
The rest, though, are completely nuts.
A Footnotes of Kanye twitter would be an invaluable gift to the world from a leading Kanye scholar. Cho??
I love Kanye's Twitter and think it's soooo good, and not in some sort of like "ironic*" way, but just how much insight you get into Kanye's head. He is unabashedly eccentric! I SUPPORT THAT!!!
*Not the right way to use the word ironic
I challenge Cho on his Kanye stannery. Although, we should be gentlemen about this and combine forces.
"Ironic" used ironically?
Yzr
I support David Cho in this.
Even I--stupid me!--am kind of into Kanye Twitter.
But who is worse - Ye for those tweets or you for writing about those tweets?
Or me for commenting on all of it???
LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@diplo and @party_boys look like CHUMPS now.
George Bush hates non-sequiturs
Kool Aid smile? Those ties must be off the HOOK.
Holy cow, they ARE!
http://www.jpressonline.com/neckwear_patterned_detail.php?ix=20
I would wear this in a heartbeat, no lie.
You have no idea!
Whoa, they really are!!
They have Puffin ties.
THAT is amazing.
As an admitted "hater" of many things, I should hate Kanye. But I don't. I even sort of admire the SOB and find him to be extremely talented.
THat being said. I HATE spoken word.
There's a difference between spoken word and rap lyrics a capella.
Yes, they speak faster.
I saw that thing at that theater with them banging on the cans and stuff and everyone talking real fast. (Was it "Rent"? JK.)
Word. The difference is rhythm. You could never keep these "spoken word" rappers' lyrics on a beat. And them rhyme structure is much more looser-er.
them s/b their*