Thursday, June 24th, 2010
33

Your Choices In 2012: Bush-Fiorina, Bush-Whitman or Bush-Haley

BUSH 2 AND 3So let's say this is how it goes down. Jeb Bush has the south locked up, right? Florida already is one of the big four states, with an expected 28 electoral votes after the census. Texas might have as many as 38, but obviously that's a done deal for a Bush. John McCain's not running, even if he's still standing. Everyone hates Mitt Romney. Then there's… uh… Eric Cantor? Oh, excuse me, how did the bottom of the barrel hit me in the nose so soon? And Mike Huckabee has already been vigorously throwing Jeb Bush's name around on the air for ages now, so there's 1. him out and doing TV and 2. his weird very Democratic yet super-McCain-voting state. (Okay, whatever, a mere 6 electoral votes.) Now, running mate! Since California and New York's 85 or so are Democrat for good, that's a big block you have to take down by getting, well, every single other state, right? And he needs a ton of cash. The cash burn on this puppy will be unprecedented-it'll make Hillary Clinton's campaign look like a bunch of fiscal spending conservatives. Seeing as there's no way the actual real Republican party is going near that Sarah Palin chick, plus she has the highest negative name recognition since, um, anyone named "Bush," plus she really doesn't have a good money base, that's not it. So what does a Republican ticket need to partner Bush with? A lady, because it's fashionable now and to neutralize both Palin and Clinton, who will be out on the road campaigning. So basically you just decide who's less wacky at the time: Carly Fiorina or Meg Whitman. As long as it's someone who helps get him Indiana and Ohio, North Carolina and Virginia. We're going with Meg Whitman. Oh God, wait! Nikki Haley! She's got money, and Palin will campaign for her. Boom. Done. BUSH III. Believe it.

33 Comments / Post A Comment

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

McChrystal – Palin.

Art Yucko (#1,321)

she's totally naming her 6th kid McChrystal

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

And I am naming my next one Tariq.

jolie (#16)

Well my day's ruined. Might as well start drinking.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Oh My God, Man. How can we NOT have Bush-Barbour???

mmmark (#4,458)

This is all kinds of right.

NicFit (#616)

Really? Already?

jrb (#3,020)

With a weak field, Sarah Palin runs figuring what the heck, maybe there'll be some kind of fluke. She sails to the nomination, followed by a bunch of stories that go: "Well, you know, Barack Obama hasn't been THAT great, and Palin has her own kind of charm. See? We get YOU, America!"

And then maybe she wins and we get to see what America is like led by a female, Republican version of Rod Blagojevich.

KarenUhOh (#19)

Careful what you wish for. I was over at the federal building yesterday, and caught Blago trying on pantyhose in the Ladies'.

jfruh (#713)

SOMEONE is forgetting about the unstoppable Newt Gingrich Rational Braniac Thought-Thinking Express, HELLO!

(ALSO, are you doing the EV math that the Republican puppetmasters will be doing in order to determine the most electable candidate, or trying to figure out how the primary voting will go? I believe that the number of delegates each state gets in primaries does not map onto the number of EVs it has, but rather some combination of its EVs and how heavily it voted Republican in the last few elections? This seems like a recipie for nominating the person who will do best in the states you would have won anyway, but there you have it.)

Bittersweet (#765)

Everyone loves to bring up the NGRBT-T Express, but that train just likes to sit in the station, occasionally throwing out self-important puffs of steam.

brent_cox (#40)

Looking forward to see the extent that the Tea Party Ross-Perots things up.

gregorg (#30)

Oddly, I find the sheer impossibility of this very encouraging. If America is actually stupid enough for a third Bush president, we deserve the Apocalypse.

roboloki (#1,724)

as the token commenter from the great state of south carolina (by "great" i mean retarded) i would like to take this opportunity to say "fuck"!!!

Abe Sauer (#148)

Ah, this is a liberal fantastical crisis wet dream just one step below a Palin presidency. Bush III is not happening in the next cycle. The "reform" conservatives now hate the Bushes as do the tea partiers.

How is nobody on the left aware of Tim Pawlenty? He already has a healthy and growing PAC. He's reliable in possible midwest swing states.

Morbo (#1,288)

And not too fond of evolution, if I remember correctly.

deepomega (#1,720)

Abe speaks truth. Jeb is not even a tiny bit popular amongst anyone with any kingmaking power on the right. Pawlenty seems reasonable, and I'm not convinced we won't see Huckabee again.

Also, Fiorina is out amongst the actual Republican elite, because even they think she's fucking nuts. I could see Whitman, but I'm not sure she'd throw over a governorship two terms in for a VP nod.

(This is why I sometimes hateread Redstate – how else am I supposed to learn what the worst case is?!)

barnhouse (#1,326)

This whole thing makes me feel fantastic!! The guns-n-god crew will torpedo whoever they manage to dredge up. I feel kind of bad that this makes me so happy.

As for Meg Whitman, I will venture to wager that nobody is going to remember her after she loses this election.

jrb (#3,020)

The idea that the tea party hates both parties lost its steam a while back. There was that poll in which more than half said they had favorable opinions of George W. Bush and then there's the Bachmann-inspired "Miss Me Yet?" signs. So don't rule out a Bush revival.

Do rule out Pawlenty, though. He is a Dukakis nobody, and will remain a Dukakis nobody. Nothing compelling about him and narrative makes a presidential candidate. Even John Kerry had one.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Oh, they don't hate both parties. But they do dislike Bush; they're forced to as a means to confront his spending policies. Go to ANY tea party rally and ask where all these people were when Bush was spending like crazy and most will actually tell you that they WERE protesting and disliked the Bush policies. They may have voted for him, but now are forced to deny support. Also, the tea party is a small, unorganized group. In Wisconsin they cannot even manage to endorse a candidate in any of the many elections due to the fact they are an organization of saying No to everything (which means saying Yes to nothing which means an inability to endorse). In this, and because they are really not one group with a central voice, they are locked into never really being able to support anyone on a national platform (tea partiers in ND don;t necessarily agree with those in FL). This is why in small mayoral (or congressional) elections, a tea party-type candidate with "no political ties" can make a reasonable "throw out the bums" run for office. But nobody is ever ever going to nominate a national candidate whose platform is "I have no political ties."

Also, their "power" is, again, based on hating ALL politicians so they cannot endorse one. They're like the music critic who trashes everything but knows he could never make his own songs because they would be terrible.

As for Pawlenty. I'm not sure he wouldn;t make an attractive bottom-of-the-ticket name.

jrb (#3,020)

All good points. Maybe I've got my Rahm-goggles on, thinking the party wags the base, not the other way around.

Still don't buy the idea that tea partiers came out of the woodwork. They're motivated enough to spend their weekends dipping themselves in red white and blue bodypaint, I figure they've been in a voting booth more than a few times in their lives. Just a new kind of partisan expression, not an original political movement. We'll wait and see, I guess.

If they're successful, here's a 2012 name that'll skip a few heartbeats: Jim DeMint.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Oh, I think they vote for sure. And on a national scale they will almost certainly vote GOP. (Too bad bad for Romney because he'd be their PERFECT candidate of he hadn;t fucked himself liberal with that Mass healthcare policy).

But again, the GOP is looking for its soul again and the powers on both ends know that another Bush would be just too much for even gullible Americans to bear right now. Not to mention how the smarter GOP voters would KNOW that another Bush would not play with any of our international allies (not that we have many left).

barnhouse (#1,326)

@Abe SO true!! "And is there any hopes of seeing him hanged? Tol de rol, tol lol de rol." (Henry Fielding.)

Morbo (#1,288)

I'll take a Whitman or Fiorina over the tea partying bible-beaters any day.

The election of Palin to national office may prompt me to re-evaluate my domicile status.

katiebakes (#32)

What about Pawlenty? He seems nice.

Abe Sauer (#148)

Minnesota Nice. Dude will cut you.

Abe Sauer (#148)

(actually, what he'll cut is school funding)

garge (#736)

I just woke up on the floor, and there is blood steaming down the side of my head from a gash shaped like the corner of my desk. The last thing I remember is reading this .. post .. oh, god, getting dizzy, nauseated ..

mathnet (#27)

Wouldn't it be so awesome? If the party picked Neil or Marvin or Doro instead?

dntsqzthchrmn (#2,893)

Or Baby Babs. Or Lauren.

What, too soon?

mommadona (#5,706)

Never again will a Bush or a Dick screw with U.S. ~ Jeb Bush allowed FELONS to get Mortgage Brokers licenses in Florida while governor, which links him directly to the SubPrime Mortgage Meltdown. http://www.mortgagenewsdaily.com/7242008_Florida_Felon_Mortgage_License.asp

Once a BUSHCO, always a BUSHCO : "It's just business" ~ Michael Corleone

Palin-McChrystal v. Obama-Clinton

bytehead (#4,763)

I will self-immolate before that happens.

I had enough of him when he was my governor.

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