Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
22

Wimbledon Blogger Forced to Tennis-Blog For Ten Hours

NIGHTMAREAn exhausted liveblogger was just forced to blog for ten hours. Xan Brooks, of the Guardian, was barely keeping it together.

"9.10pm: Is it over? It is not over. For a brief moment back then, I thought it was over."

"8.40pm: It's 56 games all and darkness is falling. This, needless to say, is not a good development, because everybody knows that zombies like the dark."

"8.20pm: Wow, is that really the time? I must go home; can't think what's kept me. Wa-ha-la-ha-la-ha-la!"

Good news though! Liveblogging was finally canceled due to darkness. Bad news: there'll be more tomorrow.

22 Comments / Post A Comment

Van Buren Boy (#1,233)

Today we are all bloggers.

doubled277 (#2,783)

a moment.

HiredGoons (#603)

I love me some tennis. But the idea of live-blogging it? I'd rather watch American Football.

Yes. Tennis is great to watch. TO WATCH.

NicFit (#616)

Jeesh…isn't that fucking Isner match still going on?

Flashman (#418)

I've always wondered, is this Xan person's name pronounced 'Christian', or is it Shan, or Han, Zan, (Click!)-an….

NicFit (#616)

I knew a Xan in high school. Pronounced "zan" as in Alexander.

mathnet (#27)

"Zarissa"?

gumplr (#66)

It got very existential at the 4:05p mark:

It's tennis's equivalent of Waiting For Godot, in which two lowly journeymen comedians are forced to remain on an outside court until hell freezes over and the sun falls from the sky. Isner and Mahut are dying a thousand deaths out there on Court 18 and yet nobody cares, because they're watching the football. So the players stand out on their baseline and belt aces past each-other in a fifth set that has already crawled past two hours. They are now tied at 18-games apiece.

On and on they go. Soon they will sprout beards and their hair will grow down their backs, and their tennis whites will yellow and then rot off their bodies. And still they will stand out there on Court 18, belting aces and listening as the umpire calls the score. Finally, I suppose, one of them will die.

saythatscool (#101)

A tweet, a tweet from Mr Andy Murray. "This," he says, "is why tennis is one of the toughest sports in the world." Thanks for that Andy: wise words indeed. Actually we were hoping you were tweeting to say when the angel was coming to rescue us all. Instead we get that. You sit comfortably, and eat your nice dinner, and spare us the tweets. Unless they're about the angel, that is. We still have hopes for the angel.

And ooh look, it's 57-games all.

Ha!

This is my favorite:

On Court 18 a match is not won and lost; it is just played out infinitely, deeper and deeper into a fifth and final set as the numbers rack up and the terrain turns uncharted. Under the feet of John Isner and Nicolas Mahut, the grass is growing. Before long they will be playing in a jungle and when they sit down at the change of ends, a crocodile will come to menace them.

A.R. Chrisman (#2,964)

K. and J. belted the balls back and forth. It was futile. K. wanted to leave but could not because T. was watching and might consider him impotent.
"What are you waiting for? Kill me!" K. shouted at T. Two men walked towards K. and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Is the match over?" K. asked. J. continued to hit balls, now wildly swinging past K. The men stood passively, without emotion. A dog walked up and sat down. Life is unbearable.

- Franz Kafka on tennis.

hman (#53)

I could go for ten hours of Bud Collins liveblogging about the funny pants he's wearing this year.

doubled277 (#2,783)

fancy pants

PropSword (#2,870)

"What happens if we steal their rackets?"

Ronit (#1,557)

That was my favorite

beatbeatbeat (#3,187)

That entire liveblog is one of the funniest things I've read in recent memory.

Flashman (#418)

Yeah the Guardian's 'Minute By Minute' liveblogging of soccer matches is always very funny but this one is an absolute classic.

Ronit (#1,557)

Indeed. I love all the Guardian sports writers so much. Barry Glendenning is wickedly funny.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

It's like the Iowa Baseball Confederacy of tennis.

keisertroll (#1,117)

Making a W.P. Kinsella reference without mentioning "Shoeless Joe" is the automatic tiebreaker.

joshc (#442)

I wish that David Foster Wallace was still alive for many reasons, but now because wouldn't it be great for him to write a long short story about the liveblogger faced with the three day liveblog of a neverending last set?

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