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Oil Is Actually Very Healthy for the Environment, Says Scientist
"The gulf is such a great fishery because it's fed organic matter from oil. It's preadapted to crude oil. The image of this spill being a complete disaster is not true."
-Recently retired Texas A&M scientist Roger Sassen, representing what is referred as a minority view, in an otherwise fascinating piece about the mysterious deep-sea creatures that thrive off petrochemicals that seep through cracks in the ocean floor. Hmm! "Dr. Sassen was part of the Getty exploration team that drilled the first discovery wells that recovered gas and oil in the U.S. Atlantic 27 years ago."
gOD I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER
Remain calm! All is well!
When asked what he thought about alternate energy solutions for American dependency on oil, Sassen was quoted as saying, "Fucking gay."
I'm preadapted to BS, but surfeited at the moment.
Later, Sassen insisted, "You can get just as high off a rag soaked in 87 octane as one with premium," as he smoked a Camel while filling up his F450 at the local Valero station.
Clearly this is a man who smokes American Spirits.
Then this should work out wonderfully now that we've given these organisms that consume oil such a glut of food. Great fishery…psh…greatest fishery. (never mind the gulf dead zone)
Since the human body needs iron to survive and is therefore preadapted to it, I suggest we drop a cast iron anvil on his head. Let's see how that works out.
Right, I think the "everything in moderation" adage may apply.
Not only does this Iodine taste like shit, but my mouth is turning a Jersey Shore shade of orange.
Wash that down with a nice cold ICE bro.
totally preadapted to douchebag juice, bro.
Hell, the human body needs water to survive, so I don't understand all this "drowning" nonsense.
It's enriching the sea bed with an array of emolients and humectants.
With all the asphaltene, they can finally pave Atlantis.
[also, spell-check thinks 'asphaltene' should be 'halterneck']
He's an Aggie. Enough said. Where is Cajun Boy when I need him? My stock of Aggie jokes is depleted.
"Oh, no! My favorite aggie!"