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Anna Chapman, The Spy Who Didn't Love Herself Enough To Be Competent
"Why bother calling yourself 'Anna Chapman' if you're going to speak in a thick Russian accent and make Facebook videos describing your venture firm that is looking for risky investments in Russia-and record the video in Russian? 'She came from Russia, with love' reads the [New York Post] lead about the accused Russian spy whose 'cover' probably related more to New Yorkers' suspecting Russian entrepreneurs of being gangsters rather than agents of Moscow Center, and then feeling xenophobic and correcting themselves. I mean this lady may as well have kept a smoked fish in her Gucci handbag wrapped in a front page of Pravda for cheap snacking on the go!"
-The Spy Who Loved Us Also Didn't Love Us Hard Enough To Spy Very Well.
"They couldn't have been spies," she said. "Look what she did with the hydrangeas."
The best quote ever.
Well, spies are usually inept at soil pH balance.
Her secret?
Polonium-210
Look, there is 100% no way a non-patriotic resident of the U.S. who might be an illegal alien or a spy could ever take care of a lawn!
#fekbait
The bottle crappy vodka practically surgically attached to her hand did NOT help.
Hell, I keep smoked fish in my wallet.
Never trust a copper top!
How do the Russians know my weaknesses so well — do they read my blog?
And if so, why don't they comment more?
The drapes clearly don't match the carpet. Clearly a sign of deception. SNEAKY BOTTLE GINGER SPIES!!!!
SALT MUST BE PUT ON XANAX
Are you talking about that new Jolie movie where she's a Russian spy?!
wonder if Salt turns hydrangeas blue
No I'm talking about the new Jon Voight movie where his recent conservative rage gives him hypertension.
turning Jon Voight blue, now, that's another matter.
As I understand it from a friend of mine at the Bureau the next step in the plan was for them all to get on reality shows.