The Unintended Consequences Of Full-Body Scanners: Penis Jokes, Paranoia
"Imagine if this was a woman being teased about her body in this story? This would be all over Operah and people would be flipping out. But because its a man the teasing is ok? He did the only thing any man is tought to do when teased. Fight."
-The comments on this story about a Miami International Airport worker who beat a co-worker with a baton and forced him to apologize for a year of jokes about the size of his penis occasioned by his trying out one of those newfangled full-body scanners are pretty heated! Admittedly, the story is written from the perspective of "ha ha look at this guy trying to overcompensate for his NOT ALL THAT SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE" and thus designed for maximum pageview-provocation, but this is one of those "reader feedback" sections that has it all. (Including the phrase "the IQ of mayonnaise"!)
Well, at least he's got a nice rack.
…and a tail? What the hell is going on back there?
Prehensile anus.
Wraparound dick.
Well, where did you think they put it.
Please excuse me while I go file a patent for a prosthetic penile extension that looks realistic in millimeter-wave scans.
I prefer the ol' cucumber-wrapped-in-tinfoil trick.
The tangy zest of my brain leads me to believe I have the IQ of Miracle Whip.
Airport body scanning is really the death of dignity. No matter how "suspicious" your "package," it won't look good on one of those scan images.
This is why I never travel without my fluffer.
You leave my wife alone, res.
Millimeter wave radar weirds me the hell out because it makes me feel like I am living in Snow Crash.
Ha! Wait 'til I show up at the X-ray machine with my own brain-electrode-linked nuclear warhead.
Operah?
Also I'm assuming his face is blurred because he is ugly.
I laughed along with The Smoking Gun's summary, but then I clicked thru the "has a small penis" hyperlink — a shame no one deserves — to an NBC affiliates's star, complete with the guy's enlarged (heh) mugshot. The depths of sadness in this man's eyes are un-knowable and plumbless. Awful…
Jesus his face is that of the saddest dog in the pound who somehow knows he's going to die there
AGREE, I came here specifically to comment about how DEVASTATING that photo is. I don't know that I can recover from this one.
Watch Ezyte's shares start a stock market turnaround.
My brother's best friend used to ask me if I would make him shoot the mayonnaise. I never did.