Friday, May 7th, 2010

Tattoos: A Sign Of Extremely Attractive Risk-Takers

There are, of course, exceptionsIt is time to once again talk about tattoos, specifically the kind of people who get them. Science has a theory! It turns out that, for dudes at least, it is the better-looking ones who take the needle.

Researchers at the University of Wroclaw in Poland measured about 200 men and women-half of them inked or pierced in places other than their earlobes-for body symmetry, or how similar their right and left sides are. (More similarity indicates genetic health and is associated with sexual attractiveness.)

Among the research subjects, men with bodily decorations exhibited greater symmetry than those without, whereas no differences emerged in women. Because people who are less symmetric did not opt more often for tattoos and piercings, researchers rejected one widely held hypothesis that suggested people use physical graffiti to hide or distract from imperfections in their appearance.

There is also speculation that a willingness to get a tattoo indicates a predisposition to risky behavior, which also demonstrates biological fitness. So basically hot dudes get tattoos so that chicks will let them do sex to them! I haven't read the entire methodology of the research, but this seems to square up with everything we know about biology and evolution. Did I mention that I have a tattoo? Call me!

28 Comments / Post A Comment

Kakapo (#2,312)

Yay! I'm hot! Curiously back when I was into putting holes and ink into my body, I was always very concerned about them being symmetrical.

Kakapo (#2,312)

Related question: does the fact that I no longer put holes and ink in my body mean that I am no longer hot or does it just mean I'm old… or maybe some combination thereof.

myfanwy (#1,124)

That depends. Have you set yourself on fire lately?

Kakapo (#2,312)

Does trying to and failing count?

NicFit (#616)

Why is it that all the vegans who get that weird nut-based "ice cream" from the place on my block all seem to be covered in tattoos?

Tattoo sleeves are cool, but real ice cream is scary!

Tuna Surprise (#573)

Daddy issues.

cherrispryte (#444)

I would like to point out how shockingly unattractive most Polish men are, tattooed or not.

Also, pronouncing "Wroclaw" correctly is harder than pronouncing "Choire".

Kakapo (#2,312)

Ooh. You and I have diametrically opposed tastes… or your sample size has been too small to accurately assess.

nicole (#2,443)

oh god, i've always wanted to know how to pronounce 'choire'! me and a friend occasionally try to discuss things we saw on the awl, and we are always flummoxed by how to say his name. we end up calling him 'the guy with that name'.

cherrispryte (#444)

My sample size was definitely not small. I would assume our tastes are different? Also, I think how incredibly gorgeous most Polish women are made the men seem plainer by comparison.

BadUncle (#153)

George Peppard played a Polish detective on NBC in the 70s. By extension, we might infer that there are some not unattractive Polish men.

Jeff Barea (#4,298)

Um, all men let themselves at a certain age. Like they've given up on life once they realize how little they had to offer except great sex.

*Flexes muscles* Then there are the exceptions to the rule, because some of us can offer intellectual sex as well as great physical sex.

Um, No, before you reply, not you. Or you. Definitely not you!

k-rex (#2,909)

Don't worry; I'll take you.
I always assumed it was pronounced like the sausage. Which I also don't know how to pronounce.

cherrispryte (#444)

I am intrigued by your assumption that my definition of attractiveness had anything to do with age.

But please, go on about your sexual prowess. It sounds like your self-esteem could use some validation.

Trilby (#3,897)

Schwarr? Quy'r?

The best part about this post is that if you follow the link it eventually leads to this:

sox (#652)

Wow, I had missed that somehow. Must have been out of the office that day. That is now my very most favorite Screen Name narrative ever!

BadUncle (#153)

How does "symmetry" equal "better-looking?"

Meat-pole Tarzan (#4,312)


BadUncle (#153)

Yes, but not DESIGN!

Ken Layne (#262)

Yeah, Polish dudes don't even count as Human. Polish *women,* on the other hand, are nearly as gorgeous as their neighbors in the Czech Republic.

But anyone who thinks "attractive people are more likely to get tattoos" needs to spend a few summertime months in what that Abe Sauer character calls "Real America." Jesus fucking christ, I can't even go to the grocery store anymore. Appetite and recipe ideas all vanish at the sight of nearly naked enormous orange people with dozens of poorly executed tattoos haphazardly placed all over their legs and buttocks. STOP IT, AMERICA.

Abe Sauer (#148)

I can bear witness to this truth. It's really out of hand. And the neck things. Lord.

cherrispryte (#444)

Dude, they're human, they're just not attractive. Intelligent, funny, really good at forming independent trade unions – Polish men are many lovely things. Just not the population I'd pick when rating people on attractiveness.

deepomega (#1,720)

My cousin went to jail a year or so back. Only spent a few months there, but got on a tattoo kick. As in, learning to do it, to himself, using a needle and ballpoint pen (memento style!). He is covered in poorly rendered tattoos, which he did himself. My favorite is the lopsided scroll with the names of his family members/kid in sorta-gothic-blackletter font running down his forearm.

kingdiamond (#3,211)

Once, while I was getting some needlework done at Daredevil, this personal trainer-type came in and described his tattoo idea to the staff (tribal thing zzzzzzzz) and he was careful to point out that it should flow over his shoulder in such a way as to make his "delts pop".

Rank fuckfacery, that.

My tattoos just make me HOTTER.

smapdi (#1,306)

My artist gently informs me, when we are halfway though the inking, that I get to be on top that night. Always makes me SQUEEEE. Then I dont get to be on top ;(

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