Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
9

Subway Is Ready To Get Fresh With Unauthorized "Footlongs"

Overly aromatic sub chain Subway is getting a little possessive of the word "Footlong," thanks to the success of its "foot-long sandwiches for a Lincoln" campaign and the attendant jingle: Not only is the company is currently petitioning the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for the exclusive rights to the term, it's getting its legal department to hassle outlets that dare use it — even hot-dog stands that have been throwing around the word "footlong" for some 47 years. Apparently the frank-related harassment was the result of an overzealous worker bee: Hot dogs are safe, according to a rep for the chain. But plain old sandwich shops better watch their backs! Or feet, as it were.

9 Comments / Post A Comment

KarenUhOh (#19)

Good thing no city with subways gives a flying fuck about their trains being disparaged as slimy coldcut barf bombs.

petejayhawk (#1,249)

As a known Subway despiser I'd like to thank you for the phrase, "slimy coldcut barf bombs." I will use it with gusto.

brent_cox (#40)

"Anything a foot long and not a hot dog" is still a pretty wide net.

HiredGoons (#603)

quite a hallway.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

"Turkey and cheese, light mayo, lettuce, tomato, and a Cease and Desist to go."

Pop Socket (#187)

Wait until they hear about the MTA infringing on their Subway® trademark.

BadUncle (#153)

So, wait, shouldn't somebody porny stand up and claim the rights to Footlong Trouser Treat?

the Loud Coast (#1,362)

Can someone please ring these people and remind them that they sell fucking sandwiches for a living. There is no need to brand it. It is not a new thing. They are fucking ingredients between fucking bread. Business people have this logic about: "hey, sandwiches are really easy to make, so that means I can have a million franchise owners making them across the country without really having to train anyone or supervise, because it's just a fucking sandwich", but when it becomes apparent that the ease-of-sandwich might make competition easy, then all of a sudden the tables turn and they want to own "footlong" which is a proxy way of not only making sandwichery needlessly complicated, but also trying to own a piece of sandwichhood, a wonderfull thing they have no right to, as, again it's just a fucking sandwich. No-one ever needed an advertising budget or a legal team to put ingredients between bread for money before these numbskulls came along, and we will still be enjoying sandwiches, (and calling them footlongs!) long after each of them get a clue and move on to doing something worthwhile with their life (or choking on shit, whichever). More sandwich money, more sandwich problems, etc.

fairest (#413)

Frank-related harassment. Funny.

I saw a Blimpie (they're still around in Michigan and Mississippi) last weekend with a $5 foot-long sign and thought, wait, that's Subway.

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