Mutts Break 125-Year-Old Fur Barrier
Once when a bunch of us were tripping on mushrooms, two of my friends got into discussion about which type of dog was best. One of them was asserting the superiority of golden retrievers, like the one his family had had when he was a kid, over all other breeds when a look of self-reflective horror came over his face. "Wait a minute," he said, "does that make me a racist?" We all agreed that yes, it definitely did. But times change! And this past weekend, a blow was struck for equality when two brave dogs, Otis and Diesel, took the stage at an American Kennel Club sponsored dog show at the Mattaponi Kennel Club in Northern Virginia.
Otis (that's him on the left in the photo) and Diesel, you see, are not golden retrievers or collies, or any other pure breed dog. They are mutts.
As Discovery reports: "Finally, after 125 years of its existence, the American Kennel Club is letting mutts, or 'All Americans,' compete in AKC shows in their own category. The 'All American' dogs won't be judged on breed standards, but instead on agility, rally and obedience."
Otis finished third in the rally competition Sunday. Suck it, racists!
So they've leaped forward to separate but equal?
Hey, baby steps…
One day some ballsy white supremacist with a knack for media exposure will come up with a separate-categories beauty pageant.
This is the Awl. I thought we discuss how Cats are superior to all of this Best-In-Show nonsense.
Wow! I can't believe I am actually linking Vice.
At last, the national nightmare is over!
(Only liking Goldies is sorta like only liking Aryans, only in this case all the Nazis are fucking bred for stupidity.)
The Stepford School my children currently attend has a teacher who breeds goldens, and those families who can afford $700 dogs usually buy one. So all the matching children run around after school with their matching dogs, which is why I'm moving to Greenpoint. The End.
Don't the people all match in Greenpoint, too?
So is "rally" the canine equivalent of congeniality?
@C_Webb: Sort of. It's like running an obstacle course but combined with demonstrations of obedience. People tell me my dog should try it, until she jumps over five feet off the ground and takes food out of their hands. Then they smile weakly and ask if she "does agility."
My dog would do all those things if enough cheese was involved. She's 13, but nothing inspires agility in a mutt like a lukewarm mozzarella stick.
I'm assuming chihuahuas have to show their papers.
I was looking for it and you found it.
oh but now this fucking wetback wants my son!!!!! to fix his papers so this fucking wetback bastard wont get deported…fucking son of a bitch!!!!
The correct racist appellation for an immigrant dog is wetnose. Get it right.
@Goons: I'm tossing you a Science Diet treat (none of that Milkbone trash) for this one.
@deep: Fucken wetnoses!
First mixed breeds — next, monorchids!
Look, you'd place third too if you had the great crew of mechanics that Subaru brings to these competitions.
So I went over to the slideshow (look, doggies!) and most of the pictures are of purebreds. Quoi?
Nation of Mutts is the name of my kid's "band"; he plays kiddie keyboard and the brat down the street beats a Chock Full o' Nuts container with one drumstick in our little backyard. Lyrics are like: "Mutts rule! They are the cutest dogs! They never get sick! They love to lick!"
This article would make no sense in German.
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasse_%28Z%C3%BCchtung%29
If my grandfather's german shephard ever dated a mutt he would almost certainly disown him.