Bombs Over Broadway
What a weekend, full of bombs; first Jay Leno, then a Nissan Pathfinder? NO BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS. And I mean, what an oil slick, hey? Home-rigged accelerants and explosives dousing the ducklings of Times Square, while the mayor watches telepathically. AM I RIGHT? Unlike every other Broadway bomb, this one everyone wants credit for! Hi-o! And what thanks do ya get when you help out the kind people of Gotham City by keeping our tourists away from a bomb? You gotta eat a very fishy salt-free, low-cal meal with Mayor McAntiCheese's terror deputy Patty Harris! Oh, we kid, she's great people. And at least we're not subject to changes in regime during a local disaster! (Hey, anyone remember when Giuliani wanted to cancel the elections due to terror?) Well, let's be careful out there-and keep an eye out for suspicious white balding 40-something men!
It's kind of inflammatory to tell us to keep an eye out for Denton.
Oh, he's flaming already.
Denton's hiding a bomb-laden panel truck in that staggering cranium.
His head's so big, he has to step in his shirts.
His Bentley didn't start out with a sunroof.
I'm not balding (yet), but I am suspicious.
@kneetoe: the spray-on hair's an indictment.
Actually, Rhatigan had the rib-eye, and Bloomberg the black-eye.
You know what's fishy, folks? A meat-loving,19-year NYPD veteran cum hero who's "retiring" in eight months. More like retiring Obama, amirite? *finger pistol to head*
"A city of justice / A city of love" — R. Kelly
@Matt- so if there's a terror bombing will R. Kelly piss out the ensuing fire?
That is a very astute tee shirt vendor if he can tell by smell the difference between the fizzle of a fertilizer car bomb and the sizzle from Tad's Steaks.
Shit. I thought this story was going to be about The Adam's Family.
Can someone tell Christine Quinn to stop sideling into every picture with Bloomy, it's really creepy.
Peter Vallone did the exact same thing with Rudy back in 2001.
If you can't enjoy a weekend on the town with your best girl and your home-rigged accelerants, what's the world coming to?
Bloomberg showing up in his tux was just so Gotham. I mean you know he must have had the option to change on the plane and was like, nah, watch me outclass this amateur terrorist.
RIGHT? Love him love him love him and I don't care who knows it.
Um. If my first thought when I heard about this was "Please let this be a crazy white guy, not a crazy Muslim guy" does that make me racist? I thought they were both equally likely.
Ugh – not that "white guy" and "Muslim guy" are mutually exclusive. They're not. But you know what I mean, I hope?
So am I to understand that you hate ALL white people?
Just the ones with skins that the poets refer to as alabaster. You know, albinos.
Mostly just people.
@saythats: Don't forget us translucent Irish chicks.
@scrolly: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a pale Irish Chick?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
Lead suspect: Cat Stevens
@saythats: Except those of us who are magically de-rishous.
Scrolly I could eat you with a spoon. Ya hot lady!
They don't taste like Lucky Charms?
See now, if this were Al Qaeda it would have been a Ford or a Hummer. The fact that this was a Nissan Pathfinder seems homegrown*.
*(I have no expertise or credentials of any sort, whatsoever)
Well, it was good to hear Bloomberg use the last administration's "they hate us for our freedom" line of reasoning because I was afraid we'd moved on to a more nuanced attempt to understanding the world.
@AbeSauer- Ambassador Kelly LeBrock's theory is "they hate us for being beautiful."
What ever gave you that impression?
@kneetow: You know, that is a very good question. I guess… um… a change of scenery?
Speaking for balding 40-something men everywhere, it's nice to be considered dangerous for once!
a couple bald white guys in that picture to boot.
/CONSPIRACY
The bomb is coming from inside the tux!!!