Monday, May 3rd, 2010
36

Bombs Over Broadway

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA, FATMAN!What a weekend, full of bombs; first Jay Leno, then a Nissan Pathfinder? NO BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS. And I mean, what an oil slick, hey? Home-rigged accelerants and explosives dousing the ducklings of Times Square, while the mayor watches telepathically. AM I RIGHT? Unlike every other Broadway bomb, this one everyone wants credit for! Hi-o! And what thanks do ya get when you help out the kind people of Gotham City by keeping our tourists away from a bomb? You gotta eat a very fishy salt-free, low-cal meal with Mayor McAntiCheese's terror deputy Patty Harris! Oh, we kid, she's great people. And at least we're not subject to changes in regime during a local disaster! (Hey, anyone remember when Giuliani wanted to cancel the elections due to terror?) Well, let's be careful out there-and keep an eye out for suspicious white balding 40-something men!

36 Comments / Post A Comment

scroll_lock (#4,122)

It's kind of inflammatory to tell us to keep an eye out for Denton.

saythatscool (#101)

Oh, he's flaming already.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

Denton's hiding a bomb-laden panel truck in that staggering cranium.

saythatscool (#101)

His head's so big, he has to step in his shirts.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

His Bentley didn't start out with a sunroof.

kneetoe (#1,881)

I'm not balding (yet), but I am suspicious.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@kneetoe: the spray-on hair's an indictment.

Actually, Rhatigan had the rib-eye, and Bloomberg the black-eye.

You know what's fishy, folks? A meat-loving,19-year NYPD veteran cum hero who's "retiring" in eight months. More like retiring Obama, amirite? *finger pistol to head*

Matt (#26)

"A city of justice / A city of love" — R. Kelly

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@Matt- so if there's a terror bombing will R. Kelly piss out the ensuing fire?

Pop Socket (#187)

That is a very astute tee shirt vendor if he can tell by smell the difference between the fizzle of a fertilizer car bomb and the sizzle from Tad's Steaks.

riggssm (#760)

Shit. I thought this story was going to be about The Adam's Family.

Steve (#1,777)

Can someone tell Christine Quinn to stop sideling into every picture with Bloomy, it's really creepy.

Peter Vallone did the exact same thing with Rudy back in 2001.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

If you can't enjoy a weekend on the town with your best girl and your home-rigged accelerants, what's the world coming to?

Miles Klee (#3,657)

Bloomberg showing up in his tux was just so Gotham. I mean you know he must have had the option to change on the plane and was like, nah, watch me outclass this amateur terrorist.

katiebakes (#32)

RIGHT? Love him love him love him and I don't care who knows it.

cherrispryte (#444)

Um. If my first thought when I heard about this was "Please let this be a crazy white guy, not a crazy Muslim guy" does that make me racist? I thought they were both equally likely.

cherrispryte (#444)

Ugh – not that "white guy" and "Muslim guy" are mutually exclusive. They're not. But you know what I mean, I hope?

kneetoe (#1,881)

So am I to understand that you hate ALL white people?

saythatscool (#101)

Just the ones with skins that the poets refer to as alabaster. You know, albinos.

Kevin (#2,559)

Mostly just people.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@saythats: Don't forget us translucent Irish chicks.

saythatscool (#101)

@scrolly: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a pale Irish Chick?

You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.

Louis Fyne (#2,066)

Lead suspect: Cat Stevens

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@saythats: Except those of us who are magically de-rishous.

saythatscool (#101)

Scrolly I could eat you with a spoon. Ya hot lady!

Mindpowered (#948)

They don't taste like Lucky Charms?

HiredGoons (#603)

See now, if this were Al Qaeda it would have been a Ford or a Hummer. The fact that this was a Nissan Pathfinder seems homegrown*.

*(I have no expertise or credentials of any sort, whatsoever)

Abe Sauer (#148)

Well, it was good to hear Bloomberg use the last administration's "they hate us for our freedom" line of reasoning because I was afraid we'd moved on to a more nuanced attempt to understanding the world.

scroll_lock (#4,122)

@AbeSauer- Ambassador Kelly LeBrock's theory is "they hate us for being beautiful."

kneetoe (#1,881)

What ever gave you that impression?

Abe Sauer (#148)

@kneetow: You know, that is a very good question. I guess… um… a change of scenery?

Speaking for balding 40-something men everywhere, it's nice to be considered dangerous for once!

Miles Klee (#3,657)

a couple bald white guys in that picture to boot.

/CONSPIRACY

The bomb is coming from inside the tux!!!

Post a Comment